Jonathan Hemlock Quotes in The Eiger Sanction (1975)

Jonathan Hemlock: I can't believe that you're a stewardess.

Jemima Brown: Actually I'm not, I'm a skyjacker in a drag.

Jonathan Hemlock: Oh, that's reassuring, just give your name and I report you to the proper authorities when we land.

Jemima Brown: Jemima

Jonathan Hemlock: And I'm Uncle Ben...

Jemima Brown: I'm serious, that's really my name... Jemima Brown, my mother was hooked on being ethnic.

Jonathan Hemlock: Or else turned on by a pancake. As long as we both agree that it's to much for a black chick to have the name of Jemima.

Jemima Brown: Well I don't know, I mean people don't forget you when you name is Jemima.

Jonathan Hemlock: I don't think people would forget you if your name was Alfred.

Jonathan Hemlock: [after fighting and stepping on Popes hand] Okay, you'll be alright now Pope. Of course you may have trouble playing the clarinet for awhile.

Ben Bowman: Wanna Beer?

Jonathan Hemlock: You gonna call room service?

Ben Bowman: We got beer.

Jonathan Hemlock: If you hauled beer up this rock you're insane!

Ben Bowman: I may be insane, but I'm not stupid. I didn't carry it, you did! It's in your pack.

Jonathan Hemlock: Christ, I ought'a throw you off this pillar! Besides, it's warm.

Ben Bowman: Oh I'm sorry, I thought you'd draw the line on haulin' ice.

[Referring to Hemlock's written assessment]

Jemima Brown: Crap?

Jonathan Hemlock: Excuse me? You did just start this conversation off by saying crap didn't you?

Dragon: [Hemlock has walked in while Dragon is hooked up to a transfusion device] Forgive me, Dr. Hemlock. Twice a year I have to have my blood completely replaced.

Jonathan Hemlock: [through gritted teeth] With what?

Miles Mellough: For what I want in this world, I would even sell out my dear mother.

Jonathan Hemlock: How true!

Jonathan Hemlock: Why did she do it?

Ben Bowman: Oldest reason in the world.

Jonathan Hemlock: Love?

Ben Bowman: Money!

Pope: My superior wants to see you.

Jonathan Hemlock: [sarcastically] Well, that doesn't limit the field much!

Jemima Brown: Friends? Enemies? Where do I fit in?

Jonathan Hemlock: I'm sorry, but you don't. Here's to the selfish killer and the patriotic whore! Do you have anything else to say? I usually keep a twenty in the bowl by the door. You might pick it up on the way out!

Jonathan Hemlock: However you never know. Sometimes people do things they thought they'd never do again. Like rape, for instance. Yeah I thought I'd given up rape but I've changed my mind.

Dragon: [sitting in his dark lair] Even the slightest direct light causes me intense pain.

Jonathan Hemlock: Does your physical disability preclude you from coming to the point?

Jemima Brown: Fasten your seat belt, sir.

Jonathan Hemlock: Oh, I have no intention of trying to escape.

Jonathan Hemlock: They kill one of ours, we kill the killers. No purpose at all, just barbaric.

Jemima Brown: You're getting religion a little late.

Jonathan Hemlock: I didn't quit because of religion, I quit because of mathematics.

Jemima Brown: Oh?

Jonathan Hemlock: That's right. The odds are stacking up against me. Assassins who stay too long wind up getting assassinated, and that ain't in my game plan.

Ben Bowman: You know what? Way down deep you've got the makings of a real bad ass. I don't know that I'd like to be alone on a desert island with you if there was a shortage of food.

Jonathan Hemlock: No worry, you're a friend.

Ben Bowman: You ever had any enemies?

Jonathan Hemlock: A few.

Ben Bowman: Any of them still around?

[last lines]

Jonathan Hemlock: You know that art collection of mine's not going to get any bigger, but I'd sure like to have you take a long look at it.

Jemima Brown: I thought you'd never ask. I'll get two tickets. Jonathan, you can tell me. You didn't really sanction all three of them, did you?

Jonathan Hemlock: [just a long hard look]

Jonathan Hemlock: And why am I the only one who can perform this sanction?

Dragon: First, do you accept the assignment?

Jonathan Hemlock: Yes, I accept!

Jonathan Hemlock: What we have is this: the target is male, he is an accomplished mountain climber. We learned this from a note we intercepted. Also, a witness said he limped.

Jonathan Hemlock: Well, that's fine. Now all I have to do is kill every mountain climber with a sore foot.

Dragon: Not quite. Our man will be involved in a climb in the Alps this summer.

Jonathan Hemlock: Oh, you're getting warm now, Dragon. That narrows it down to three or four thousand men.

Dragon: Fewer than that. We know which mountain he will climb.

Jonathan Hemlock: And?

Dragon: The Eiger!

Ben Bowman: This is were I turn back.

Jonathan Hemlock: Thank God.

Ben Bowman: Not you, you need the work. George there will take you on up.

Jonathan Hemlock: It's a girl.

Ben Bowman: A lot of people notice that.