Jonah Hill Quotes in This Is the End (2013)

Jonah Hill: Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... from Moneyball.

Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!

Jonah Hill: [in demonic voice] Guess what? It's not that compelling.

Jonah Hill: A huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? Actors. They'll rescue Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come.

Jonah Hill: So what have you guys been doing?

Seth Rogen: Oh we just hung out all day.

Jay Baruchel: Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.

Jonah Hill: Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.

Jay Baruchel: It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.

Jonah Hill: Sick reference though bro.

Jay Baruchel: Oh thanks bud.

Jonah Hill: Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.

Jonah Hill: [From the trailer] Can I have that Milky Way?

James Franco: You can't have the Milky Way. It's my special food, I like it.

Seth Rogen: I want some of the Milky Way!

Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't get at least a bite of the Milky Way.

Jonah Hill: [trying to comprehend the previous night] Something, um, not-that-chill happened last night.

Jonah Hill: This is no dream! This is really happening!

Jonah Hill: [possessed] The Apocalypse is NIGH!

[the guys are debating whether or not to let a stranger into the house]

James Franco: [whispering] I know it sounds really weird, but... I don't think we should let him in.

Jay Baruchel: Why not?

Headless Man: Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.

James Franco: I'm sorry, we just don't know you, man. You could be, like, a looter or a, a rapist or a tittyfucker, like...

[Seth grabs his chest protectively]

James Franco: ... I'm sorry. Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out, and the first guy who comes to the door, we're gonna let him in? I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?

Headless Man: I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!

Danny McBride: "Agagaga-fuckin'-crazy-out-here!" This guy fuckin' sucks.

James Franco: What if he's the rapist?

Jonah Hill: Man, even if he is a rapist, he can't rape all of us.

Headless Man: [panicking] Yeah, no, I'm not a rapist!

Seth Rogen: You gonna tittyfuck us?

Headless Man: [almost in tears] If you want me to tittyfuck you, I will, so good, oh, you'll love it!

Jay Baruchel: Seth, back me up, please, we can't just leave him out there to die, are you crazy?

James Franco: [to Seth] What do you wanna do? I'll do whatever you wanna do.

Seth Rogen: Uh, let's vote on it!

Headless Man: Yeah, I fuckin' vote you let me in!

Danny McBride: Here's my vote: fuck all of you, I'm letting him in. This is boring.

[the guys all shout and rush to stop him; something growls outside]

Headless Man: There's something out here!

[the thing outside suddenly chops the man's head off, and the severed head bounces into the room, coming to a stop at Danny's feet]

Danny McBride: [in shock] This is real! This is fucking real!

[he kicks the head at James, who kicks it away from him immediately. The guys all start screaming and kicking the head around the room to get away from it]

Jonah Hill: You guys! This man was alive a few seconds ago, we can't play soccer with his head!

James Franco: Pick it up, Jonah.

[Jonah picks up the head and immediately drops it again as blood gushes out of it]

Danny McBride: What the fuck is going on?

Jonah Hill: He blinked at me! He blinked at me!

James Franco: Put it over there!

[quivering in fear, Craig throws a blanket over the head]

Jonah Hill: [as Woody Harrelson] I have to do what's right, weed is for the people, it's the peoples weed.