Jon Arbuckle Quotes in Garfield (2004)

Jon Arbuckle: What am I gonna do with you?

Garfield: Love me, feed me, never leave me.

Jon Arbuckle: [a mouse runs by] Mouse!

Garfield: No thanks, I'm full.

[mouse runs away]

Jon Arbuckle: Get him Garfield!

Garfield: [looks at mouse then back at Jon] Get him Jon.

Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up. You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here. Now just wake up. You got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver. Now be a...

Jon Arbuckle: Not now, Garfield.

[Wraps arm around Garfield]

Garfield: [choking] Get- A- Ah- Just- All right. Cut the sweet stuff. Easy now. Just-

[breaks free]

Garfield: Trying to cuddle with me, huh? Trying to avoid your duties, eh? Well, that just ain't gonna fly! It isn't gonna work with me. See, I'm getting my exercise, doin' my job. Just one quick CANNONBALL!

[jumps from TV and hits Jon in the stomach]

Garfield: Morning.

Jon Arbuckle: Garfield!

Jon Arbuckle: Garfield, did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?

Garfield: [hiccups] It's not my fault. They started it.

Jon Arbuckle: [in the phone] I'll call you later. Garfield is being... Garfield.

Jon Arbuckle: [Liz] She is so beautiful.

Garfield: Uh, Mr Pathetic. You've had a crush on her since high school. Would you please ask her out so she can reject you and we can get on with my life?

Jon Arbuckle: Some part of me has always wanted to know what it would be like to have a pet that actually wants to play with you.

Jon Arbuckle: [Jon's lost both his pets] First Odie, and now Garfield. I am the worst pet owner on the planet.

Garfield: Jon, you had me a chick magnet, and now you got a tick magnet!

Nermal: Garfield, Jon brought a dog home.

Garfield: I'm aware, Nermal.

Nermal: Why would he do a thing like that?

Garfield: Gee, I don't know, Nermal.

Nermal: Well it just sounds like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.

Garfield: Can we drop it? I mean it's no big deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.

Nermal: A... bug?

Garfield: A dim-witted, smelly, goofy... splattered bug that I will deal with properly and enthusiastically.

Jon Arbuckle: [to Odie] Come on, boy!

Garfield: As you can see, I'm still Jon's favorite.

Nermal: See you later, Garfield! Good luck with the bug thing!

Jon Arbuckle: Liz, I have a confession. Well, its not really a confession, more of an admission. Its a... Liz... its a declaration.

Jon Arbuckle: [on the phone] No, Odie's not a hounddog. Yes, I'm sure.

Jon Arbuckle: Liz, will you marry me?

[shows the ring to Liz]

Liz Wilson: Yes.

[Everyone starts clapping]

Garfield: You know a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's.

Jon Arbuckle: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Garfield, what are you doing?

Garfield: I'm security, pal. Just protecting you from yourself.

Jon Arbuckle: Garfield, you've caused enough trouble today. Now you have food, water, and company.

Garfield: [points at Odie] Which one is he?

Jon Arbuckle: Be good.

Garfield: Jon, he's hilarious. Be careful, she's a maneater!

[Jon closes the door]

Garfield: Oh no. He's under her spell.

[Odie still looks for the hamburger in the cabinet]

Garfield: Okay, Odie, I'll give you one small clue... *it's not in there!*

Jon Arbuckle: Garfield, since when do you say "no" to lasagna?

Prince: ...You do realize I'm a cat, don't you sir?

Jon Arbuckle: Garfield? Odie, wh-wh-what are you doing here?

Prince: Garfield? What the devil is a garfield?

Veterinary Assistant: They're gonna be fine, Jon.

Jon Arbuckle: You know, Garfield's never stayed in a kennel before, so I'm afriad he might have some separation anxiety.

Veterinary Assistant: [assuring] No. He's probably fast asleep in his cage by now.

[in the cage room, Garfield and Odie are in a cage and Garfield shouts while striking the cage door]

Garfield: YOU HEAR ME WARDEN? I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

[strikes the cage door again]

Garfield: ANYTHING I SAY CAN AND WILL BE HELD AGAINST ME IN A COURT OF LAW!

[shakes the cage door]

Garfield: AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY TOO, PAL!

[stomps the floor of the cage]

Garfield: AND IF I CAN'T AFFORD ONE, ONE MUST BE PROVIDED FOR ME BY THE COURT!

[Garfield shakes the cage door very hard, causing it to swing open with him on it]

Garfield: NEVER MIND!

[Garfield lets go of the cage door and falls to the floor]

Garfield: I just broke out!

Liz Wilson: [to Jon] Don't let Odie out of your sight they might deport him.

Garfield: [very interested] *Deport* Odie? Ooh, I like this country already! Oops...

[the table tips over and the bag and Garfield fall onto the floor]

Garfield: [getting up] OK, I'm gonna need a litterbox, a Room Service manual and the TV remote and, in that order. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office.

[walks towards the bathroom]

Jon Arbuckle: [looks into his bag and gets surprised that his clothes are gone] Where are my clothes?

Garfield: [in the toilet] Cool. My very own cat tub.

[turns on the buttwasher and turns it back off immediately after being squirted by water]

Garfield: Gol-ly!

[spits some water out]

Jon Arbuckle: [dries Prince with a towel] Mr. and Mrs. Jon Arbuckle... Liz Arbuckle... Elizabeth Arbuckle.

Prince: Listen, you dolt. There's been a coup d'etat. Attempted murder most foul. I am Prince XII of Carlyle.

[smoothens fur]

Prince: [to Odie] You there, with the wise and thoughtful look. Hello. Convince this man there's been a mix-up.

Jon Arbuckle: [comes out of the bathroom with a blow-dryer] Garfield, I want you to be at my wedding party.

Prince: Wedding party?

Jon Arbuckle: Think you can hold a basket of flowers in your mouth?

Prince: Enough with the frooming, you dunce. My subjects face mortal jeopardy.

[gets off the bed]

Prince: [to Odie] Dog, approach.

[Odie approaches Prince]

Prince: We must plan my escape, and I'm relying on your expedience and cunning.

[Odie begins chasing his tail]

Prince: [sighs] Okey-dokey, new plan.

Jon Arbuckle: What am I gonna do? How am I supposed to find Garfield? London's very big.

[Odie fetches some newspaper from the trash can and hands it to Jon]

Jon Arbuckle: [after reading the headline] I don't care about some alien love baby, okay? I'm worried about Garfield.

[Odie jumps on Jon and licks him, telling him to turn the paper over]

Jon Arbuckle: Okay Odie, you know what, you're being a real...

[reads the article about Prince]

Jon Arbuckle: "Lady Eleanor Carlyle inherits her entire estate to her beloved cat Prince XII." Maybe somebody mistook this cat for... Garfield! Come on! Good boy!