Johnny Kelly Quotes in Johnny Dangerously (1984)

Tommy Kelly: You were gonna take a bullet for me.

Johnny Kelly: Actually, I was just counting on a lot of missing.

Johnny Kelly: Hi Dr. Magnus. How's my mother?

Dr. Magnus: It's her thyroid, Johnny.

Johnny Kelly: What's wrong with it?

Dr. Magnus: We can't find it. Gonna have to do a thyroid search.

Johnny Kelly: How much is that gonna cost?

Dr. Magnus: You're in luck. This week a special. $999 dollars.

Johnny Kelly: Say kid, what do they call you?

Lil: Impressive.

Johnny Kelly: Hey, look, she's got a guy. His name is John Shaft and he's a bad dude.

Johnny Kelly: We made a deal.

Gus Mascola: And I just called it off. You see, Mr. Kelly, I made a sort of a house call with Mr. Shaft. It didn't work out so well. It cost me a dead second cousin and a friend's kid brother with two hits in the chest.

Gus Mascola: Have you considered renewing your partnership with Cal Asby?

Johnny Kelly: Come on, man. He's dead!

Gus Mascola: Precisely.

Johnny Kelly: Now, you don't know what that dude is into. He's Bumpy's boy. You understand that? And they're lookin' to take over my wheel in Queens.

Sally 'Angel Face' Connors: I know how you feel, Joe.

Johnny Kelly: I don't think you have the slightest idea how I feel.

Sally 'Angel Face' Connors: Why do you say that?

Johnny Kelly: I feel like I'm in a cement mixer getting slowly chopped and pounded to death. I've seen all that I can stand to see.

Sgt. Joe, the 'Voice of Chicago': So, you're leaving the police and your wife?

Johnny Kelly: Yeah, starting from scratch.

Sgt. Joe, the 'Voice of Chicago': The city at night. A million homes, three and a half million people, all different from one another. People lovin', people hatin', people stealin', people prayin'...

Johnny Kelly: Same old shinola.