John Solomon Quotes in The Brothers Solomon (2007)

John Solomon: I literally can not wait to feel myself inside you!

Janine: Woah! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup.

Dean Solomon: Well that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing.

John Solomon: Do you have any pictures of the kids? Something that we can...

[points to picture of adoption agency representative's son]

John Solomon: Oh, Dean. How about that little guy?

Dean Solomon: No friggin' way! Under no circumstances. He's got like Bells Palsy or something.

Dean Solomon: She's not into you. Can't you see that?

John Solomon: You're just jealous of what we have.

Dean Solomon: Jealous of what you have? I already have what you have: nothing.

John Solomon: So she got hit by a bus, huh? Poor girl.

Dean Solomon: Yeah, the bus took a pretty serious hit too. I mean she was a large girl. Comfortably in the 200's.

Dean Solomon: So... you're a janitor?

James: That's right. I'm a black man so I must be a janitor. Motherfucking racist-ass stereotyper.

Dean Solomon: It's just, you're... wearing a janitor's outfit.

James: Oh. So a black man can't just go in a thrift shop and buy a janitor's outfit 'cause he find it comfortable on his nuts.

Dean Solomon: No, he can. Especially a black man.

John Solomon: What do you do?

James: I'm a janitor.

John Solomon: I think we maybe need to broaden our search to include less conventional methods of having a baby.

Dean Solomon: Like anal?

John Solomon: Oh, Dean. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Dean Solomon: You just said "hard on."

John Solomon: Hope your baby doesn't die!

Dean Solomon: Guard your baby with your life!

James: Don't fuck up.