John Shaft Quotes in Shaft (2000)

John Shaft: You know me. It's my duty to please that booty!

Peoples Hernandez: This is Egyptian Cotton, motherfucker... two-twenty thread. That's like half your shitty-ass paycheck, okay?

John Shaft: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if the Pharaoh himself sent it to you, you knockoff-wearing motherfucker!

[Trey starts seizing on the gurney]

Walter Wade, Jr.: Homeboy's got rhythm, huh?

John Shaft: What?

[Shaft punches Wade in the face]

Walter Wade, Jr.: What? Was it something I said? I think my nose is broke!

Lt. Kearney: I've been waiting for this. You are gone from this precinct!

John Shaft: For what?

John Shaft: [punches Wade again] For that?

Peoples Hernandez: You're not a cop anymore.

John Shaft: Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?

John Shaft: Who lost your rap sheet for you?

Leon: You...

John Shaft: Who got you that Jets tryout?

Leon: You...

John Shaft: Who got you that gig at the club?

Leon: You.

John Shaft: Who delivers ten times outta ten?

Leon: Alright, dawg... You.

Walter Wade, Jr.: Do you know who my father is?

John Shaft: No, do you?

[Inside Rasaan's apartment]

John Shaft: Man, this is some repugnant shit.

John Shaft: Yo, Luger, what's up with the "cornbread" talk, man?

Luger: And your problem is what?

John Shaft: Nazis with badges, that's my problem!

Luger: [laughs] "Nazis?" You gotta lighten up, Shaft. I talk like this all the time... but I see your point. Maybe I should take an "ethnic sensitivity" workshop, huh? Fuck you!

John Shaft: Maybe I should "workshop" my foot up your ass!

John Shaft: I'm gonna fuck you up for making me run!

John Shaft: I know cats who'd take out whole zipcodes for that kind of cheese.

John Shaft: It's Giuliani time!

John Shaft: I see you someplace I don't think you belong... I will kill you.

John Shaft: This is Detective Vasquez. She's...

Carmen Vasquez: She's unavailable at the moment.

John Shaft: [passing Carmen on his way toward gang members] Anybody lookin' to maintain their employment with the NYPD

[draws his gun]

John Shaft: might be in their best interest to leave now...

John Shaft: April Fool, motherfucker. Told you not to make me run!

Luger: [to Shaft] Why don't you pick a color? Black or blue?

Carmen Vasquez: [to Luger] Hey, fuck you

John Shaft: [to Luger] How about I make you both?

Luger: [after robbing Walter in disguise] How'd I sound?

John Shaft: How did you sound?

Luger: "Freeze mofo I'll bust a cap in your dome"

John Shaft: You are a pure notorious P.I.G, how much we got?

Luger: [looking through the bag] forty two thousand , it's a lot of cash for a simple murder around here

John Shaft: [to Walter Wade] How you doing, Richie Rich? Remember me?

John Shaft: [hits Hernandez in the head with a basketball] Peoples Hernandez! Come on down!

Sergeant Tom Hannon: Hey, where the hell are you going, Shaft?

John Shaft: To get laid, where the hell are you going?

[last lines]

John Shaft: [on telephone] Vic, your case just busted wide open.

Vic Androzzi: So close it for me.

John Shaft: Cut the crap man, this is Shaft. Looks like you gonna have to close it yo'self, *shitty*!

[cackles maniacally]

Willy: Listen, Snow White. Me and you gonna tangle, sooner or later. Did you hear what I say?

John Shaft: Why don't you stop playing with yourself, Willy? You ain't gonna do SHIT!

John Shaft: You are one wise Caucasian, Vic.

John Shaft: Don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble.

John Shaft: Warms my black heart to see you so concerned about us minority folks.

Vic Androzzi: Oh come on Shaft, what is it with this black shit, huh?

[Vic holds a black pen up to Shaft's face]

Vic Androzzi: You ain't so black.

John Shaft: [Holds a white coffee cup next to Vic's face] And you ain't so white either baby.

Bumpy Jonas: [answering his phone] Wrong Number.

John Shaft: Don't bull me, man. I got the right number. This is Shaft.

Bumpy Jonas: How'd the hell you get this number?

John Shaft: Off a bathroom wall in the god damn subway!

Mafia contact: I'm lookin' for a nigger named John Shaft.

John Shaft: Just found him... 'wap'.

[first lines]

John Shaft: [holding up his middle finger to a cab driver who is honking his horn at him] Up yours! Get out the way!

John Shaft: When you lead your revolution, whitey better be standing still because you don't run worth a damn no more.

Vic Androzzi: What'cha got?

John Shaft: I got laid.

Ellie Moore: I love you.

John Shaft: Yeah, I know. Take it easy.

Willy: Got to see if you're clean before you can see the Man.

John Shaft: [laugh] Better get yourself six more helpers then, Willy.

Willy: That's how it's done.

John Shaft: Who searches you?

Willy: Nobody.

John Shaft: Then get the same cat to search us.

John Shaft: Hey, baby. Please close the door, huh?

Woman from Bar: Hey, close it yourself, shitty.

John Shaft: I thought the money didn't matter to you. Just getting your baby back.

Bumpy Jonas: Money ALWAYS matters...

John Shaft: Watch your mouth, man.

Ben Buford: I'll say any damn thing I want.

Bumpy Jonas: Wrong number.

John Shaft: Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.

John Shaft: You're a cagey spook, Bumpy.

Bumpy Jonas: You ride a tall horse, Mr Shaft.

Bumpy Jonas: When will I hear from you?

John Shaft: When I got something to say.

John Shaft: I get 50 bucks an hour... plus expenses.

John Shaft: [Shaft's home, and Vic is there to bring Shaft down to the preccinct - captain wants to talk to him, but, tells Shaft he can't; since he hasn't 'seen' him, yet] Hey, baby, please close the door, huh?

Vic Androzzi: [Making fun of the girl] Close it yourself, shitty!