John Lennon Quotes in Yellow Submarine (1968)

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John Lennon Quotes:

  • [seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]

    Paul: What's the matter, John Love? Blue Meanies.

    John Lennon: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!

    George: How's that?

    John Lennon: Singing!

  • John Lennon: [Signing an album for Mark David Chapman] Is that all?

    Mark David Chapman: [Stunned and shaky] Yeah. Thanks.

    John Lennon: You sure? That's all?

    Mark David Chapman: Yes. That's all. Thanks John.

    John Lennon: You're welcome.

    [Turns and leaves]

  • John Lennon: You got a pen? Thanks.

    [signs album]

    John Lennon: Is that all you want?

    Mark David Chapman: Yeah. Thanks.

    John Lennon: You sure? That's all?

    Mark David Chapman: Yeah, that's all. Thanks, John.

    John Lennon: You're welcome.

    Mark David Chapman: [inner monologue] That was really him. He spoke to me! You know he wasn't real.

  • John Lennon: We're gonna be big Stu, we're gonna be too big for Liverpool, we're gonna be too big for Hamburg, we're gonna be too big for our own bloody good.

  • John Lennon: You can't do your solo spots any more, Stu.

    Stuart Sutcliffe: Why not?

    John Lennon: Because it's shite.

    Stuart Sutcliffe: Give it to me straight. Let's not beat around the bush.

  • Astrid: Tell me something, John Lennon. When you are rich and famous, when you are number one, when your name is in lights and everybody wants to be your friend, when somebody asks you, "Do you remember Astrid in Hamburg?" what will you say?

    John Lennon: I'll say she was the girl I always wanted. The girl of me dreams, like Brigitte Bardot with better manners. I might have fallen in love with her. But she fell in love with me best friend. And that was the end of that.

    Astrid: I love him, John.

    [pauses]

    Astrid: I do.

    John Lennon: Yeah. Don't we all?

  • [the Beatles are being deported from Germany after it is discovered that George is underage. The police are escorting them to the train]

    John Lennon: [to one of the police officers] You wouldn't pull me leg. It really is the showers you're taking us to, isn't it, Mr. Goebels?

  • Klaus Voormann: I liked your show. You had fun.

    John Lennon: Fun? You call that fun?

    Klaus Voormann: What do you call it?

    John Lennon: I call it three days and nights without sleep. I call it too long between drinks. I call it dying for a piss. I call it hard fuckin' day's night.

    Klaus Voormann: Is he always like this?

    Stuart Sutcliffe: No. You'd be surprised. He can be quite bitter and twisted.

  • [Stu has just been badly beaten]

    John Lennon: You alright, Stu?

    Stuart Sutcliffe: How do I look?

    John Lennon: Put it this way - you'll get better. I'll always be ugly.

  • Astrid: How can you be such an asshole?

    John Lennon: Practice.

  • John Lennon: I had a word with Van Gogh last night. He said if he could do it all again he'd be down here shaking his bottom to "Blue Suede Shoes." I gave him your regards.

  • Stuart Sutcliffe: Ahhh, Liverpool.

    John Lennon: Home of...

    Stuart Sutcliffe: ...Liverpudlians.

    John Lennon: You know what it is I like about Liverpool, Mr. Sutcliffe?

    Stuart Sutcliffe: No, what is it you like about Liverpool, Mr. Lennon?

    John Lennon: I was hoping you'd tell me.

  • Stuart Sutcliffe: I like the blonde but I prefer the brunette.

    John Lennon: Blondes have more fun.

    Stuart Sutcliffe: Says who?

    John Lennon: Swedes.

  • John Lennon: Hello, Ladies and Genitals. We're the band. You'll be happy to know we keep our clothes on. On drums, Mr. Pete Best! On guitar, Mr. Paul McCartney. On bass, recently arrived from the dark side of the moon, Mr. Stuart Sutcliffe. And on guitar, Mr. George Harrison. He's only just on solid food. My name is Lennon, John Winston Lennon. My parents named me after Churchill, John Churchill, the wet fish man. They were thinking of naming me after my father, but Dad's such a stupid fuckin' name, don't you think?

  • John Lennon: Green tea, anyone?

  • John Lennon: There goes Stuart Sutcliffe. He coulda been in The Beatles.

  • John Lennon: Did ya shag her?

    Stuart Sutcliffe: She's a photographer.

    John Lennon: You'll never shag her.

  • John Lennon: You don't say much, do you?

    Pete Best: Drummers don't talk. You must have noticed that. Just might as well be deaf and dumb, drummers. When was the last time you heard a drummer say anything?

    [John looks at Pete, then turns away]

    Pete Best: See? You know why, don't you? I'll tell you why. 'Cause nobody ever fuckin' listens.

  • [a scuffle breaks out on the floor of the Kaiser Keller while the Beatles are playing. One of the patrons pulls a switchblade. John jumps off the stage and confronts him]

    John Lennon: Listen, you! If you wanna fight someone, fight me! If you don't wanna fight, then listen to the fucking band. If you don't want to listen to the fucking band, fuck off and choke to death. Do you understand me? Do you get me meaning, mate?

    Pimp: I can't fight you. You are wearing a dress.

  • John Lennon: She thinks I'm queer, Astrid.

    Stuart Sutcliffe: Bollocks.

    John Lennon: You heard her. She thinks I fancy you.

    Stuart Sutcliffe: That's not what she said. What she said was she thinks we love one another.

    John Lennon: And what did you say?

    Stuart Sutcliffe: I might have grunted.

    [laughs]

  • Paul McCartney: Hey, when you're rich and famous, what are you gonna be?

    George Harrison: A millionaire.

    Paul McCartney: And do what?

    George Harrison: Buy a bus for me dad! He's putting his foot down. Wants me working.

    John Lennon: Don't be thick! People die here... never knowing if they've ever lived. Well, you won't find me working 9 to 5.

  • Paul McCartney: Y'know, I've been thinking.

    George Harrison: Well, there you go! I bet you didn't know he could think, did you John?

    John Lennon: No.

    George Harrison: What about, then?

    Paul McCartney: About uh... changes.

    John Lennon: Like what, Paul?

    Paul McCartney: Like, maybe a change in leadership.

    John Lennon: And are you nominating yourself?

    Paul McCartney: You see, I reckon the fella who writes most of the songs should be the one who says what's what and when.

    John Lennon: I reckon you should get stuffed.

    Paul McCartney: Thank you.

    John Lennon: Or maybe we should put into the vote, don't you agree George?

  • Brian Epstein: What do you mean, "Pete's Out"? And "Ringo's In"? I like Pete! He's very popular. Girls sleep out in his garden, it's good for the whole group!

    Paul McCartney: Pete's not a Beatle.

    John Lennon: He's too conventional. Anyway, Ringo's a professional.

    Brian Epstein: This doesn't make sense! I mean, you could have gotten rid of Pete after the trip to Hamburg!

    John Lennon: Pete hasn't grown like the rest of us.

    Brian Epstein: Don't upset the apple cart. Everything's finally going well. The record company heard his drumming. They liked it!

    John Lennon: You're not listening, Eppie. He's a drag. He don't spark. I'm sick of him just sitting there.

    Brian Epstein: You're sick of the girls liking him and saying, "Pete Best and the Beatles"?

    John Lennon: Maybe, Dr. Sigmund Eppie. Maybe.

    Brian Epstein: How are we going to tell him?

    John Lennon: We're not. You are.

    Brian Epstein: Me? You want me to tell him?

    John Lennon: Well, you're the manager.

  • Stu Sutcliffe: I've made up me mind. Tonight, I'm leaving.

    John Lennon: But you're a Beatle! We're nothing without you.

    Stu Sutcliffe: You need someone who can give you the pulse you need... who can crow with you... and that's not me. Besides, I've decided to stay here. Astrid and I are getting married. I'm going back to art school.

    John Lennon: When are you going to see a doctor?

    Stu Sutcliffe: I don't need a doctor! I'm in love.

    John Lennon: Look, don't mention it to the others about leaving till after the record date this week, then that'll give you time to think it over.

    Stu Sutcliffe: I'm not going to play that date.

    John Lennon: But it's our first record session, Stu!

    Stu Sutcliffe: Oh, come on Johnny! You're going backup for some German label. It's not like it's our own record or anything. Besides, I'm tired of seeing the way anyone who knows smiles when they see me playing.

    John Lennon: Stu, you always told me you'd tell me the truth, and I count on you for that. Do you think we've got a chance?

    Stu Sutcliffe: I think you can go anywhere you want. What you need is to show something different to people. It takes time. Your only mistake was putting me on bass. I'll be off, then.

    John Lennon: I wish you'd play on that session, Stu. It could be our only record together.

  • Brian Epstein: I thought you'd know what being on top would be like. What is it, John?

    John Lennon: It doesn't seem like a game anymore, Eppie. It seems crazy.

    Brian Epstein: What does?

    John Lennon: All them people, screaming and running after us. I don't know what they want. I mean, does that seem normal to you? The way they're behaving? Half the world thinks we're a bloody joke and the rest of them think we're God! What do you think we are, Brian?

    Brian Epstein: I think you're John Lennon... playing the Pied Piper of leading people into the Mersey River.

    John Lennon: God, I've been awful to you.

    Brian Epstein: But never boring.

    John Lennon: Well, what have got lined up for us next, Brian?

    Brian Epstein: It's time to go to America, John.

    John Lennon: Well, that would be a big mistake. No British pop artist has ever made it big over there.

    Brian Epstein: Well, you'll be the first, then.

    John Lennon: Well, I've got to do something or I'll go mad. We're getting like addicts. We need bigger and bigger fixes to keep going! But I'm not sure about America.

    Brian Epstein: I am. And trust me, John... I'll never lead you into the Mersey. John, I want you to remember something. No single one of you is The Beatles. Each one of you is a part. Paul is the heart of the group, George is the soul, you're the mind.

    John Lennon: And Ringo?

    Brian Epstein: He's the flesh and blood.

    John Lennon: A real traveling medical show, aren't we?

    Brian Epstein: If any one of you stops doing his part, the rest will die. There will be no more Beatles. You're all dependent on one another.

  • Brian Epstein: This may come as a surprise. It surprises even me, but I'd like to be your manager. I'm organized, very methodical, but I'm also human. No doubt I'll make mistakes, but you're an incredible group. I'm sure I can help you. What you need is an English record contract. Through my contacts, that could be arranged. What are you earning now?

    Pete Best: Seventy-five pounds a week.

    George Harrison: Each.

    Brian Epstein: No, no, you're making fifteen pounds a night, if and when you play. But I can do better. Naturally, I'd only take commissions on my bookings, which would be twenty-five percent per gross.

    Paul McCartney: Why not twenty?

    Brian Epstein: Well, I assume there'll be considerable costs before I see any profit. But I understand you don't have photographs. Well, besides publicity, there's...

    Pete Best: We need a van.

    Brian Epstein: That's four or five hundred pounds. And there'll be changes. Not in your music. In the sense of... professionalism to get you on the radio, the telly. Well, if this is all agreeable... we'll have contracts properly drawn.

    John Lennon: We're not too crazy about changes. What kind do you have in mind?

    Brian Epstein: Your appearance needs work.

    John Lennon: You'll be wanting us to dress like you?

    Brian Epstein: There'll just be some tidying up here and there, smoothing out the rough edges.

    John Lennon: Well, I'm ashamed about rough edges, Mr. Epstein.

    Brian Epstein: I'm not saying you should be ashamed. These changes are not to remake you, just to bring out what I see as your potential.

    Paul McCartney: And just what experience exactly do you have in this line? I mean, how many groups are you directing at the moment?

    Brian Epstein: None.

    Paul McCartney: None?

    John Lennon: So we'll be your guinea pigs? A new toy to play with and then toss away when you're tired of us?

    Brian Epstein: That's not the way I work. Look, you need me. You'll be going nowhere now. Non-conformity is fine, but unless you adapt, you'll never get anywhere.

    John Lennon: But we don't want to go anywhere. It's only people like you who have to go somewhere. We're happy, go-lucky, shiftless working-class lads. That's why we play the Negro music without a care in the world. Tell me, do you have a car?

    Brian Epstein: Yes.

    John Lennon: What kind?

    Brian Epstein: A Ford... Zodiac.

    John Lennon: Well now, in that case... you need our help. I'll sign with you, Eppie, 'cause I think we can help you.

  • John Lennon: Where are we going, fellas?

    Paul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonStu Sutcliffe: To the top!

    John Lennon: What top?

    John LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonStu Sutcliffe: To the Very Top!

  • Forrest Gump: In the land of China, people hardly got nothing at all.

    John Lennon: No possessions?

    Forrest Gump: And in China they never go to church.

    John Lennon: No religion too?

    Dick Cavett: Ah. Hard to imagine.

    John Lennon: Well it's easy if you try, Dick.

  • [Dewey meditating with the Maharishi and The Beatles]

    The Maharishi: Only through meditation can we begin to understand our role.

    Paul McCartney: We're nothing but... grains of sand.

    Dewey Cox: That was freakin' transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?

    John Lennon: Yes, Dewey Cox. With meditation there's no limit to what we can...

    [glares at the camera]

    John Lennon: *imagine*.

    Dewey Cox: What do you think, George Harrison of The Beatles?

    George Harrison: I don't know. You know? I'm just trying to get more songs on the album.

    Ringo Starr: And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation, I just like to have fun.

    [holds up peace sign]

    Dewey Cox: [laughs] I like the little one.

  • John Lennon: [to Paul McCartney] I wonder if your songs will still be shit "When I'm Sixty-four."

  • George Harrison: I just sit here while my guitar quietly wimpers.

    Paul McCartney: Well you are the quiet one, so why don't you shut the fuck up?

    Ringo Starr: I've got a song about an octopus.

    John Lennon: Jam it up your ass. You're lucky we still let you play drums!

  • Dewey Cox: But I have to say, I like your stuff. It's pretty good, and most of your records, I really enjoy.

    Paul McCartney: Well, we're big fans of your records, too. We like to think that "Hard Day's Night" is our "Guilty As Charged".

    John Lennon: [in a hard, Liverpool accent] Great record!

    Paul McCartney: Excellent album! We learned a lot from ya.

    John Lennon: Great record.

    Theo: Well, we're real big fans of y'alls!

    Dave: Huge fans! You guys are almost as good as The Monkees. You guys are great.

  • Paul McCartney: [to John Lennon] I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical! I'm sick of it!

    John Lennon: Hey everyone! I've got a brand new mantra. Ommm Paul's a big fat cunt!

  • George Harrison: [high on LSD with Dewey as a cartoon] Just keep thinking happy thoughts, Dewey. I'd hate for this to turn into a bad trip.

    Dewey Cox: [scary music plays] Uh-oh!

    John LennonPaul McCartney: 'Uh-oh'?

    George Harrison: What's that scary music?

    Dewey Cox: I had an unhappy thought!

    George Harrison: It's a bad trip.

    Paul McCartney: Bad trip, bad trip!

    Dewey Cox: [a machete walks up to him] Help! Trippy machete!

    [the machete cuts him in half]

    Dewey Cox: Aw, fuck me! I can see my large colon!

    Dewey Cox: [wakes up frightened] Ahh! I guess I do got some demons!

    George Harrison: You alright Cox?

    Dewey Cox: [frightened] I don't know!

    Ringo Starr: Do you want some more LSD?

    Dewey Cox: [excited] Yeah, I think I do!

    [laughs hysterically]

  • Theo: Which one of y'all writes which song?

    John Lennon: All the good ones are mine... He does the ones that are shit.

    Paul McCartney: [laughing] Hilarious! "Number nine", really great.

    John Lennon: "Yesterday"...

    [Mumbling/singing/imitating Paul]

    Paul McCartney: He writes the ones that are "Oh, there's no God, I'm a fucking asshole", and I write the ones that are beautiful and great, and he'll jump in with the "yeah, yeah, yeah"-

    [Blows raspberry]

    John Lennon: I write songs about peace and love, you write Sussudio.

    Paul McCartney: [singing, imitating John] "Communism is the best, I'm a Commie"... that's his song.

    George Harrison: Keep in mind, I wrote "Taxman".

  • John Lennon: The lads are probably having a big party without us.

    Brian Epstein: You're not allowed to think about them. Doctor's orders.

    John Lennon: Dr. B. Epstein, Certified Faith Healer and Proctologist. What a shitty job that must be. No pun intended.

  • [John is in the bath, playing the harmonica]

    John Lennon: Alright, Eppy?

    Brian Epstein: Sounds like you're having fun.

    John Lennon: Been waitin' for you to scrub me back.

  • John Lennon: Sometimes I want a woman to push me like the wind. Sometimes I want a woman to eat my shit.

  • John Lennon: I find you an engaging and remarkable man, Brian. I've never met a man like you. I don't really want to have it off with you.

    Brian Epstein: [hopefully] But you've never ruled it out?

    John Lennon: Well, that would be putting you in an awful place, wouldn't it?

    Brian Epstein: It has to be better than what I've been feeling lately.

    John Lennon: If you don't fuck me, who will you fuck? It's a cold, cruel world out there, Brian. Everyone thinks we're off humpin' the weekend away. That really fuckin' pisses me off.

  • Brian Epstein: I was surprised you brought up what you brought up just now. Why is it so awkward when we talk about it?

    John Lennon: Don't know.

    Brian Epstein: It puts me in a very awkward position. You see, I get the feeling I'm supposed to bring it up and then I'm damned for doing so.

    John Lennon: I enjoy hearing about your conquests - this lorry driver, that docker.

    Brian Epstein: Yes, well, that's all very well, but it's when it comes closer to home - I just don't know what to say when that happens.

  • John Lennon: You know what Jung would call you?

    Brian Epstein: What's that?

    John Lennon: One queer Jew.

Browse more character quotes from Yellow Submarine (1968)

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