John Chambers Quotes in Argo (2012)

John Chambers: Target audience will hate it.

Tony Mendez: Who's the target audience?

John Chambers: People with eyes.

John Chambers: [after hearing of the plan to get the hostages out] So you want to come to Hollywood, act like a big shot...

Tony Mendez: Yeah.

John Chambers: ...without actually doing anything?

Tony Mendez: No.

John Chambers: [smiles] You'll fit right in!

First A.D.: He says the Minotaur prosthetic is too tight, so he can't act.

John Chambers: If he could act, he wouldn't be playing the Minotaur.

John Chambers: If you're gonna do a $20 million "Star Wars" rip-off, you need somebody who's a somebody to put their name on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who'll produce a fake movie. For free.

Tony Mendez: We've got an office, we've got business cards, we've got a poster. If I'm the Revolutionary Guard, that's nothing we couldn't have made at home. Six people's lives depend on this. It's not enough. If we're gonna fool these people, it has to be big. And it has to have something that says it's authentic.

John Chambers: I did a movie with Rock Hudson one time. If you wanna sell a lie...

Lester Siegel: You get the press to sell it for you.

Lester Siegel: We made history today. "History starts out as farce and ends up as tragedy."

John Chambers: Quote's the other way around.

Lester Siegel: Yeah? Who said it?

John Chambers: Marx.

Lester Siegel: Groucho said that?

Nina: Lester?

Lester Siegel: Nina, you look fabulous. You're doing the reading?

Nina: I'm playing Serksi, the Galactic Witch.

Lester Siegel: Great. I'll call you.

[walking away from Nina, talks to John]

Lester Siegel: Keep that fucking space witch away from me.

John Chambers: You know her?

Lester Siegel: I was married to her.

Lester Siegel: Hi, I only got a couple of minutes, I'm getting a lifetime achievement award.

John Chambers: Mazel tov, Lester.

Lester Siegel: I'd rather stay home and count the wrinkles on my dog's balls.

[watching the Iranian demonstrators on TV]

John Chambers: You ever think, Lester, how this is all for the cameras?

Lester Siegel: Well, they're getting the ratings, I'll say that for them.

Tony Mendez: I need you to help me make a fake movie.

John Chambers: [smiling] You came to the right place.

John Chambers: Talk to me.

Tony Mendez: It's an exfil.

John Chambers: From where?

Tony Mendez: The worst place you can think of.

John Chambers: Universal City.

[Tony hands John an issue of 'Time' magazine, with illustrations of the Iranian hostages on the cover]

John Chambers: How are you going to get into the embassy?

Tony Mendez: They're not in the embassy. During the takeover, six people escaped. They're hiding out in Tehran. That's who I'm gonna go get.

John Chambers: Let's see. Well, this one's got an M.A. in English. She should be your screenwriter. Sometimes they go along on scouts because they want the free meals... Here's your director.

Tony Mendez: Can you teach somebody to be a director in a day?

John Chambers: You can teach a rhesus monkey to be a director in a day.

John Chambers: Look, if you're gonna this, you gotta do it. The Kho-maniacs are Froot Loops, but they got cousins who sell prayer rugs and eight-tracks on La Brea. You can't build cover stories around a movie that doesn't exist. You need a script, you need a producer.

Tony Mendez: Make me a producer.

John Chambers: No. You're an associate producer, at best.

Guard: Hello, can I speak to Mr Hawkins, please?

John Chambers: I'm sorry he's out of the country on a Location Scout, can I take a message?

Guard: [Hangs up]