Joey Naylor Quotes in Thank You for Smoking (2005)

Joey Naylor: [eating fast food, next to Ferris wheel, at the Santa Monica Amusement Pier] ... so what happens when you're wrong?

Nick Naylor: Whoa, Joey I'm never wrong.

Joey Naylor: But you can't always be right...

Nick Naylor: Well, if it's your job to be right, then you're never wrong.

Joey Naylor: But what if you are wrong?

Nick Naylor: OK, let's say that you're defending chocolate, and I'm defending vanilla. Now if I were to say to you: 'Vanilla is the best flavour ice-cream', you'd say...

Joey Naylor: No, chocolate is.

Nick Naylor: Exactly, but you can't win that argument... so, I'll ask you: so you think chocolate is the end all and the all of ice-cream, do you?

Joey Naylor: It's the best ice-cream, I wouldn't order any other.

Nick Naylor: Oh! So it's all chocolate for you is it?

Joey Naylor: Yes, chocolate is all I need.

Nick Naylor: Well, I need more than chocolate, and for that matter I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom. And choice when it comes to our ice-cream, and that Joey Naylor, that is the defintion of liberty.

Joey Naylor: But that's not what we're talking about

Nick Naylor: Ah! But that's what I'm talking about.

Joey Naylor: ...but you didn't prove that vanilla was the best...

Nick Naylor: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong I'm right.

Joey Naylor: But you still didn't convince me

Nick Naylor: It's that I'm not after you. I'm after them.

[points into the crowd]

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Joey Naylor: [whispers to Nick as he comes to speak to Joey's class about his job] Please don't ruin my childhood.

Polly Bailey: How are you feeling?

Nick Naylor: First time I'm thinking these cigarettes are really dangerous

Bobby Jay Bliss: [Puts a gun on the table] you might be right about that, it might be small but it'll do the job, one shot BAM

Polly Bailey: He's not going to shoot anyone

Joey Naylor: Cool

Bobby Jay Bliss: Yeah? I mean guns should be treated with respect you understand?

Nick Naylor: You make a great father

Bobby Jay Bliss: Thanks

[From trailer]

Jack: Okay, I'm gonna bring your dad in now. Is there anything I can get you, like an orange juice, or a coffee, or a Red Bull?

Joey Naylor: No, thanks.

Jack: Okay.

[High fives Joey]

Joey Naylor: Mom, why can't I go to California?

Jill Naylor: [while cooking him breakfast] Because, California's just not a safe place. And besides, I'm not sure it's appropriate for your father to bring you on a business trip.

Joey Naylor: Appropriate for who?

Jill Naylor: What?

Joey Naylor: Mom, is it possible that you're taking the frustration of your failed marriage out on me?

Jill Naylor: Excuse me?

Joey Naylor: This California trip seems like a great learning opportunity and a chance for me to get to know my father. But if you think it's more important to use me to channel your frustration against the man you no longer love, I'll understand.

Joey Naylor: You're The Sultan of Spin!

Nick Naylor: [in the kitchen of his apartment] "The Sultan of Spin"?

Joey Naylor: Mom subscribes to Newsweek.

Joey Naylor: [referring to Heather] Why did you tell that reporter all your secrets?

Nick Naylor: [in the kitchen in his apartment home] You're too young to understand.

Joey Naylor: Mom says it's because you have dependency issues and it was all just a matter of time before you threw it all away on some tramp.

Nick Naylor: Well, that's one theory.

Joey Naylor: Why are you hiding from everyone?

Nick Naylor: [in the kitchen of his apartment] It has something to do with being generally hated right now.

Joey Naylor: But it's your job to be generally hated.

Nick Naylor: It's more complicated then that, Joey.

Joey Naylor: You're just making it more complicated so that you can feel sorry for yourself. Like you always said, "If you want an easy job, go work for the Red Cross."

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: [sitting on the couch in his apartment] Because of our endless appeal system.

Joey Naylor: Do I have flexible morals?

Nick Naylor: [while they walk around the Santa Monica Amusement Pier] Let's say you became a lawyer and you were asked to defend a murderer worse than that, a child murderer now, the law states that every person deserves a fair trial, would you defend him?

Joey Naylor: I don't know, I guess every person deserves a fair defense

Nick Naylor: Yeah well so do multinational corporations

Joey Naylor: [His speech for class] What makes America the best government? The passion that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world sure you call it "capitalism", "free market", "celebration of tariff breakdowns" I have another word for it: Love

Joey Naylor: [driving in a rented car, after leaving Lorne Lutch's home, referring to Lorne Lutch] Dad, how did you know he'd take the money?

Nick Naylor: You'd have to be crazy to turn down all that money when I saw he wasn't crazy I knew he'd take it

Joey Naylor: Would you have taken it?

Nick Naylor: If I were him? Sure

Joey Naylor: [Nick rubs Joey's ear] So would I