Joe Dayton Quotes in Return to Me (2000)

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Joe Dayton Quotes:

  • Joe Dayton: [sees Grace crying] Aw, Christ. Who died?

    Megan Dayton: No one.

    Grace Briggs: [sobbing] Bob's wife!

    Joe Dayton: He's married?

    Megan Dayton: Oh, God...

    Joe Dayton: Rat bastard!

    Tyler Dayton: Yeah, rat bastard!

    Joe Dayton: Tyler, shh! You want me to go over there and handle this? You want me to handle that son of a bitch?

    Megan Dayton: Joe, no, please don't. Joe...

    Joe Dayton: I knew it! I knew it, that hairline...

    Megan Dayton: Joe, stay out of it, you don't know...

    Joe Dayton: ...the "creative type", it's a given!

    Megan Dayton: You don't know what you're talking about. Take the kids, stop it. Go with Daddy.

    Joe Dayton: I'll go take care of it. I swear to God, I will kick his ass for you. I'll kick the shit out of him!

    Megan Dayton: Honey, stop it, please! Stop it...

    Joe Dayton: Quit pushing me!

    Megan Dayton: I'm gonna push you! You don't...

    Joe Dayton: Grace, what's going on here?

    Megan Dayton: Joe, nothing's going on!

    Joe Dayton: You want me to handle it? I'll kick the shit out of him for you, Grace! That son of a bitch!

    Megan Dayton: Joe, please!

    Joe Dayton: What? What?

    Megan Dayton: Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!

    [pause]

    Joe Dayton: [stunned] He's not married? Huh. Okay.

  • Joe Dayton: [screaming at his family] Will everyone just calm down! For the love of God and all that is holy, calm the hell down!

  • [Joe is dancing in the kitchen with his shirt off]

    Joe Dayton: I'm a bad cowboy

    [Motions to Megan]

    Joe Dayton: Come on.

    Megan Dayton: No, no... our rhythm gets us in trouble.

  • Tyler Dayton: [back from the zoo] And then we went to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you.

    Megan Dayton: I did not!

    Joe Dayton: Oh, really? Did you go to see the elephants?

    Megan Dayton: Watch it, Joe.

  • Joe Dayton: So, Charlie, what do you do?

    Charlie Johnson: I'm a vet.

    Joe Dayton: Oh.

    [beat]

    Joe Dayton: I didn't go to 'Nam.

Browse more character quotes from Return to Me (2000)

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