Joe Bass Quotes in The Scalphunters (1968)

Joe Bass: If God ever made two greater inventions than a pretty woman and a bottle of whiskey, I ain't heard of it!

Joe Bass: Scalp hunters. The wickedest, crookedest trade to ever turn a dollar.

Joe Bass: You mean you want to stay with these, with these heathens?

Joe Bass: [to the Indians who are bilking him out of his furs] You're all right, Two Crows. You oughta be a white man. They'd make you captain of the steamboat and president of the bank. Just because you own this damn country!

Joe Bass: What the hell are you standin' there for? Can't you speak English?

Joseph Lee: No, sir!

Joe Bass: Whattaya mean, 'No, sir'?

Joseph Lee: I mean I wish I didn't.

Joseph Lee: [walking behind Joe Bass and his horse] What about me, sir?

Joe Bass: I'll just sell you to the highest bidder.

Joseph Lee: Could you mske that to a Comanche, sir?

Joe Bass: You seem to have an uncommon prejudice against service to the white-skinned race!

Joseph Lee: I don't mean to be narrow in my attitude. Could I ask you what's your name, sir?

Joe Bass: Joe Bass.

Joseph Lee: Well, Mr. Bass, couldn't you kind of consider me a captured Comanche?

Joe Bass: [both Joe Bass and his horse turn around and do a 'take']

Joseph Lee: I came on my own two feet as far as those Comanches. It was my intent to circle south as far as Mexico. The Mexicans have a law against the slavery trade, and since those Indians captured me from other Indians. I have now got full Indian citizenship.

Joe Bass: Joseph Lee, you ever study the law?

Joseph Lee: No, sir.

Joe Bass: Well, neither did I, but you ain't got a chance in hell of calling yerself an Indian! You're an African slave by employment, black by color!

Joe Bass: You ever fight twelve drunk Indians?

Joseph Lee: No, sir, but I'd like to see it done.

Joe Bass: [to Joseph Lee] Throw you in a pigpen, and you'd come out vice-president of the hogs.

Joe Bass: [surfacing out of the river and startling Joseph Lee] Julius Caesar. You're a hell of a dancing man but you sure can't fight.

Joe Bass: [watching Jin Howie apparently riding off leaving Joe's furs] . Don't seem right - that man doing an honest thing.