Jock Quotes in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Indiana: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock!

Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie.

Indiana: I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!

Jock: Come on! Show a little backbone, will ya!

Jock: Fuck you, you little dip-shit!

John Connor: Dip-shit?

[to the Terminator]

John Connor: Put your leg down.

[to the Jock]

John Connor: Did you call moi a dip-shit?

Mortdecai: Have you heard the expression, "open your balls"?

Jock: No, sir.

Mortdecai: It made me feel dirty.

Mortdecai: ...kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.

Johanna: Uhh, don't point that thing at me.

Jock: Told ya!

Mortdecai: What should I do now?

Jock: Run, sir.

Mortdecai: Again?

Jock: Yes!

Mortdecai: [arrives hotel] Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm-heavy Jock. Behold this America, this new colossus, this fair land of the free!

Mortdecai: [entering hotel lobby, sees girls on bikinis] What kind of hell-place is this? I feel as though we've made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film.

[asks hotel clerk]

Mortdecai: Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film?

Hotel Clerk: Checking in?

Mortdecai: I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale. I should like to request a bucket of ice, "Do Not Disturb" sign, and a bulldozer.

Hotel Clerk: Checking in?

Jock: Yeah, we're checking in.

Mortdecai: I suspect I may need to redecorate.

Hotel Clerk: Room 326, overlooks the pool.

Mortdecai: [holds hotel door card] So all I must do is show up, and I'm presented with a credit card. No wonder your country's in financial ruin.

Hotel Clerk: Do you need help with your bags?

Mortdecai: No, I do not need help with my bags. I have a fucking manservant. Strange country.

Mortdecai: [calls hotel front desk] Hello, American? The rooms here are made of cement. Very good in case of an air raid. But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest after an arduous crossing, a bit of an acoustic nightmare. So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests and allow me to get some sleep, man? Please! Please!

Jock: Sorry, sir. We'll try and keep it down.

Mortdecai: Good God, Jock! Put that thing away, man!

Lady: What's a... baby?

Jock: Well, they... they resemble humans.

Trusty: But I'd say a mite smaller.

Jock: Aye, and they walk on all fours.

Trusty: And if I remember correctly... they beller a lot.

Jock: Aye, and they're very expensive. You'll no be permitted to play wi' it.

Trusty: But they're mighty sweet.

Jock: And very very soft.

Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble!

Lady: [Watching Trusty running and howling in his sleep] He's dreaming.

Jock: Aye, dreamin' of those bonnie bygone days when he and his grandfather were tracking criminals through the swamps.

Lady: They were?

Jock: But that was before...

Lady: Before what?

Jock: 'Tis time you knew the truth, lassie. It shouldn't have happened to a dog, but... well, Trusty has lost his sense of smell.

Lady: [Gasp] No!

Jock: Aye, but we must never let on that we know, lassie. It would break his poor heart.

Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble. Yeah, they scratch, pinch, pull ears... Aw, but shucks, any dog can take that. It's what they do to your happy home. Move it over, will ya, friend? Homewreckers, that's what they are!

Jock: Look here, laddie! Who are you to barge in?

Tramp: The voice of experience, buster. Just wait 'til Junior gets here. You feel the urge for a nice, comfortable scratch, and... "Put that dog out! He'll get fleas all over the baby!" You start barking at some strange mutt...

[Barks]

Tramp: "Stop that racket, you'll wake the baby!" And then... then they hit you on the room and board department. Oh, remember those nice, juicy cuts of beef? Forget 'em. Leftover baby food. And that nice, warm bed by the fire? A leaky dog house.

Lady: Oh, dear!

Jock: Dinnae listen, lassie. No human is that cruel!

Trusty: Of course not, Miss Lady. Why, everybody knows a dog's best friend is his human.

Tramp: [laughing] Oh, come on now, fellas! You haven't fallen for that old line now, have you?

Jock: Aye, and we've no need for mongr-r-rels and their r-r-radical ideas. Off with ya now! Off with ya! Off with ya!

Tramp: Okay, Sandy.

Jock: The name's Jock!

Tramp: Okay, Jock.

Jock: Heather Lad of Glencairn, to you!

Tramp: Okay, okay, okay! But remember this, Pigeon, a human heart has only so much room for love and affection. When a baby moves in, the dog moves out.

[Trying to explain to Lady that Darling is going to have a baby]

Trusty: You see, miss Lady, there comes a time in the life of all humans when uh... well as they put it... uh, the birds and the bees?

[Lady looks bewildered]

Trusty: Or well... uh... the stork? You know? Uh, no...? Well uh...

Jock: What he's tryin' to say, Lassie, is, Darling is expecting a wee bairn!

Lady: Bairn?

Trusty: He means a baby, miss Lady.

Trusty: That's right, Miss Lady; as my grandpappy, Ol' Reliable used to say... I don't recollect that I've ever mentioned Ol' Reliable before?

Jock: Aye, ye have, laddie. Frequently.

Trusty: Oh, yeah.

Jim Dear: [Following Lady up the stairs] What is it, old girl? What are you trying...

[finds the dead rat]

Jim Dear: Darling, Aunt Sarah, come here!

Darling: What is it Jim?

[gasps]

Aunt Sarah: [screams] Aah! A rat!

Trusty: A rat! We should've known.

Jock: [regretfully] I misjudged him. Badly.

Trusty: [running towards the gate] Come on! We got to stop that wagon!

Jock: [hurrying after him] But man, we dinnae know which way they've gone!

Trusty: We'll track 'em down!

Jock: [struggling to keep up] A-a-and then?

Trusty: We'll hold 'em! Hold 'em at bay!

Jock: Lassie? Lassie?

Trusty: [very loudly] OHHHHHH, MISS LADY, MAM? MISS LAAAADY.

Jake: I do independent study with her. I catch her lookin' at me a lot. It's kinda cool, the way she's always lookin' at me.

Jock: Maybe she's retarded.

Jake: I'm being serious, okay? She looks at me like she's in love with me.

Jock: Look - it's a nerd herd!

[the staff are introducing themselves to Winship and Tart]

Jock: [in a slurred and garbled speech] My name is Jock. I'm the groom. I was under Lord Morley's command in India. He had my tongue cut out...

Inspector Winship: Just a second. What did you say?

Dr. Tart: He said,

[imitating Jock's speech, only more garbled]

Dr. Tart: He said that his name is Jock. He was under Lord Morley's command...

Inspector Winship: Will you shut up?

Dr. Tart: [still imitating Jock's speech] That's what he said!

Jock: What about this actor you were helping?

[the concealed O'Malley gasps]

Jock: What the fuck is that about?

Tom Quirk: [as Barreller] He wouldn't know anything. All he knew is that I owed money to somebody. Everybody owes money to someone. Anyway he's a moron. And the Tucker can't act!

[O'Malley spittakes]

Jock: [in response to Sheila's inhaler] Hey, baby. You're sucking on the wrong nossil.

Debbie Stevens: Hey, yo, needle dick! I bet you're the only male in this school suffering from penis envy.

Jock: With the team we'll have next year Jesus Christ would be flat out making the reserves!

Jock: [referring to Geoff] He's been up his mum and his legless sister and he thinks he's killed his old man!

Jock: A marvelous high mark you took last Saturday. You just seemed to go up and up!

Geoff Hayward: Yeah, i felt like Achilles

Jock: Yes...

[laughs]

Jock: ... Who's he?

Geoff Hayward: A Greek guy who could really jump

Jock: Ah, yeah yeah. Well some of these new Australians, you know they could be real champions, if they forget about soccer and just learn to assimulate