Joan Berkman Quotes in The Squid and the Whale (2005)


Joan Berkman Quotes:

  • Bernard Berkman: How do you know they were both Frank's?

    Ms. Lemon: Well, I suppose it's possible other kids are masturbating and spreading their semen around the school as well... It's possible, but, uh, somewhat unlikely.

    Bernard Berkman: Oh, it happens, I'm sure, much more than we know.

    Joan Berkman: Bernard, have you ever done anything like this?

    Bernard Berkman: I'm not going to answer that.

  • Bernard Berkman: [Waiting to be taken away in an ambulance after having a heart attack] Degolas.

    Joan Berkman: What?

    Bernard Berkman: It means "bitch." Don't you remember?

    Joan Berkman: You're calling me a bitch?

    Bernard Berkman: No, don't you remember the last line of Godard's "A Bout De Souffle"? Belmondo calls Seberg a bitch. "Degolas." We saw it at the Thalia with the Dicksteins. I got you in for the children's price. You were pregnant with Walt.

    Joan Berkman: Like six weeks.

    Bernard Berkman: I still got you in for a children's ticket. You told me you didn't like Godard. You thought the jump-cuts were -

    [He is loaded into the ambulance]

    Bernard Berkman: I'd check for the cat behind the ashcans, under the Golodners' stoop!

    Joan Berkman: OK.

  • Joan Berkman: You're calling me a bitch?

  • Joan Berkman: You're living with a twenty-year-old.

    Bernard Berkman: It's none of your business, Joan.

    Joan Berkman: It's my business when you have our kids! It's confusing for them. Frank says Walt's in love with her.

    Bernard Berkman: Walt has a girlfriend. Fuck off, Joan. I don't ask about you and Ivan. Stay out of my life. I can't believe you'd talk to me like this. You left all those fucking ticket stubs and letters lying around! You wanted me to know. It was fucking torture, Joan! FUCKING TORTURE!

  • Bernard Berkman: Joan, let me ask you something. All that work I did at the end of our marriage, making dinners, cleaning up, being more attentive. It never was going to make a difference, was it? You were leaving no matter what...

    Joan Berkman: You never made a dinner.

    Bernard Berkman: I made burgers that time you had pneumonia.

  • Joan Berkman: You're being a shit, Walt!

  • Walt Berkman: I shouldn't have broken up with Sophie.

    Joan Berkman: Why did you?

    Walt Berkman: I thought I could do better.

    Joan Berkman: Better how?

    Walt Berkman: I don't know.

  • Joan Berkman: I'd appreciate it if you didn't... tell him about things like Richard.

    Bernard Berkman: My father told me you called him.

    Joan Berkman: I did, yeah.

    Bernard Berkman: He said you, uh... he said you were upset.

    Joan Berkman: Yeah. I wanted to... I like him. You know that. I just wanted to say - I don't know. I just wanted to say hello.

    Bernard Berkman: He called me right after. He said, "Bernie, I think you can save your marriage." I told him... I didn't think there was anything else I could do. I did try everything.

    [Walks away]

    Joan Berkman: Bye, Bernard.

  • Bernard Berkman: Your mum and I, we're going to separate. I've got you tuesday, wednesday and every other thursday.

    Walt Berkman: And what about the cat?

    Joan Berkman: The cat!

    Bernard Berkman: We didn't discuss the cat.

  • Joan Berkman: You're early.

    Bernard Berkman: Hi, Joan.

    Joan Berkman: Don't feed him the generic stuff.

    Bernard Berkman: What?

    Joan Berkman: Frank says you're feeding the cat generic food. Get Purina, it's what he likes.

    Bernard Berkman: It's the same damn thing, Joan.

    Joan Berkman: OK. It's not, but...

    Bernard Berkman: He's my cat, too. Remember when he got stuck in the wall in New Hampshire and I rescued him? I know how to handle him.

    Joan Berkman: It was a radiator.

    Bernard Berkman: What?

    Joan Berkman: He got stuck in a radiator. You trimmed your beard.

    Bernard Berkman: Yeah, it was starting to get a little feral. You look well.

    Joan Berkman: Yeah? Thanks.

    Bernard Berkman: Things are good here. Teaching is going well. And I'm playing the best tennis of my life. Maybe that's an illusion, but... it feels that way.

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Characters on The Squid and the Whale (2005)