Jim the Bartender Quotes in The Invention of Lying (2009)


Jim the Bartender Quotes:

  • Mark Bellison: If you could make the world the way you wanted it to be, what would you do? If you could change anything, if you could do anything, what's the first thing you'd do?

    Richard Bellison: If I could do anything?

    Jim the Bartender: Anything at all?

    Mark Bellison: Anything at all.

    Richard Bellison: I would touch girls' boobs.

    Jim the Bartender: Yes.

    Richard Bellison: And maybe have sex with them too.

    Jim the Bartender: Oh agreed, that too.

    Mark Bellison: Okay, let's try that.

    [He gets up]

    Richard Bellison: Where you going?

    Mark Bellison: Out.

    [He exists the bar, and looks around. He sees many unattractive women, before a good-looking one walks past. He walks up to her]

    Blonde: Don't look at me, I'm not attracted to you.

    Mark Bellison: No listen...

    Blonde: Don't bother, I've heard it all before.

    Mark Bellison: The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now!

    Blonde: [She turns around, worried] Do we have time to get to a motel, or do we need to do it right here?

    Mark Bellison: Motel.

    Blonde: [In the motel] Help me get me dress off.

    Mark Bellison: No no, wait wait, let's get to know each-other first.

    Blonde: No, we have to have sex! The world is going to end!

    Mark Bellison: But I don't even know your name.

    Blonde: Think of the children! Think of the little babies!

    Mark Bellison: Let's have a drink. You look like a... ten dollars for beer? That is...

    Blonde: Don't you understand? We are all going to die!

  • [referring to Alibi]

    Jim, the bartender: Say, he's looking for a job.

    'Dusty' King: Well, if you're interested, be sure and come out. I'll have a good job for you.

    Elmer, Alibi's dummy: How about me?

    'Dusty' King: Are you a cowhand?

    Elmer, Alibi's dummy: Oh, I've been a roper and a rider, a bulldogger and a fighter, a bronco buster and a dynamiter. Yippee!

    'Dusty' King: I'm sorry. You haven't had enough experience.

Browse more character quotes from The Invention of Lying (2009)