Jibby Newsome Quotes in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009)

Jibby Newsome: [after turning on "Dawson's Creek" in his motel room] James Van Der Beek, my nigga!

Jibby Newsome: Listen man, I haven't been home in a year and a half... and I'm about 90% sure I left the front door open.

Jibby Newsome: I'm

[pause]

Jibby Newsome: making love.

Heather: [moans] making love.

Jibby Newsome: You know what nobody ever told me 'bout making love?

Heather: What?

Jibby Newsome: How borin' it is.

Heather: Yeah!

Jibby Newsome: [pause] You can do anything you want. My safe word is blueberry pancakes.

Jibby Newsome: See, I try to tell women all the time... Auto Lister is like MySpace for serial killers.

Babs Merrick: You're a virgin?

Jibby Newsome: Oh, hell no!

Babs Merrick: Oh.

Jibby Newsome: No, I been with hundreds of women... maybe thousands. I... I just ain't never really ever made love to a woman. You know, I've done 3-ways, 4-ways, menage-a-tois, menage sept, menage seises... I've sixty-nined, eighty-nined... one hundred fourteened. Golden, diamond and platinum showers. I like that. I mean, I ripped shit up. Done all that... but I ain't never ever made love to a woman.

Brent Gage: [Knocking on motel room door] Come on Don... come on.

Babs Merrick: What's going on? Don's never been late for the last day of a sale.

Ivy Selleck: [Opening door] Don's gone. Aaaaand you did not see me here. Okay.

Babs Merrick: Well did he go to the lot?

Ivy Selleck: I don't know. He kind of just freaked out and left.

Jibby Newsome: 'Querque all over again.

Babs Merrick: Fuckin' 'Querque.

Don Ready: Make sure your underwear is *tight* tomorrow... because you will have a boner.

Peter Selleck: Hahaha!

Jibby Newsome: Amen

Ben Selleck: I like the sound of that, Right Brent?