Jewel Quotes in The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

[the Jewel is woken up by Joan chipping away at the bars of their cell with a two-by-four plank]

Jewel: What are you doing?

Joan Wilder: In my last novel, 'Angelina and the Savage Secret' Angelina used a nail file to chip away at the bars of her cell to remove them and escape to freedom.

Jewel: How long did this take?

Joan Wilder: Two pages.

Jewel: We are sworn, Just Joan.

Joan Wilder: Right, but it's just "Joan."

Jewel: Right - Just Joan.

[Jack, Joan, and the Jewel are being shot at]

Jewel: Do not worry. I'm sure it's not my destiny to die on this mountain.

Joan: What about us?

Jewel: [pause] That's another ball game.

Ralph: Come on, Colton! Where's the jewel?

Jewel: Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile.

Ralph: Yeah, and I'm a kumquat from Queens! Pipe down, towel-head!

Jewel: Your fears, they make you foolish. Go to her, Jack.

[Jack, Joan and the Jewel are under fire from Omar's soldiers]

Jack Colton: Okay, now let's go.

Joan Wilder: [refering to the Jewel] Wait a minute, Jack. He's coming with us.

Jack Colton: Don't start with me, Joan! I've come halfway across Africa to rescue you!

Joan Wilder: Resuce me? I was doing fine without you!

Jewel: [to Jack] Please, I am guide. I can help you.

Jack Colton: I don't need a guide! I need a miracle!

Jack Colton: Why does everything got to be your way?

Joan Wilder: My way? It wasn't my idea to take off and sail around the world with you on your boat for the last six months!

Jewel: I like this. You talk to each other like this often?

Jack Colton: [to the Jewel] Well, let me tell you what I had to put up. Three months ago, we're moored off the Canary Islands, midnight, sound asleep. A boat of three crazed Joan Wilder fans decide that they want the anchor of the Angeline for a souvenir! We were drifting for days!

Joan Wilder: Well, do you remember the incident at Gibraltar, Jack?

Jack Colton: Oh, come on. Not that again.

Joan Wilder: He has to meet me at the governor's mansion for a formal dinner, and you show up with the entire Italian National League Basketball team!

Jack Colton: Hey, they were hungry.

Jewel: [happily, as they run from assassin's bullets] Are we *jogging*?

Joan Wilder: [panting] We are jogging!

Blu: So, how far is it to this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far! Thirty minutes, as the crow flies.

Blu: I see... and how far as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bo-Bo here can't fly.

Rafael: But, he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly! There are ostriches...

Jewel: You are NOT an ostrich!

Blu: Well... not technically.

Blu: [as they're walking in the jungle] Oh! Oh! What was that?

Jewel: A stick.

Blu: Ah! And that?

Jewel: It's just a rock.

Blu: Oh, right. Yeah.

[Blu stops and shudders as he feels something on his back]

Blu: Is that a spider on my back?

Jewel: Will you quit it? It's just a leaf! Turn around!

[Blu turns and we see a huge spider on his back]

Jewel: Oh, um...

[Jewel quickly hits the spider off of Blu's back]

Jewel: Leaf. Told ya.

Rafael: [as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel] There he goes! That's my boy!

[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]

Blu: Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating! I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look?

[he holds up his wing]

Jewel: Oh. Wow.

Nico: [as they watch Blu make a fool of himself] Yeah! That's your boy, alright.

Rafael: Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.

Pedro: Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out!

[he starts dancing and rapping]

Pedro: Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!

Rafael: Woah, woah, woah! What kind of mood is that?

Nico: Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead.

Rafael: Okay, I need you two to get closer.

[Blu and Jewel move an inch closer together]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move another inch closer]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move closer, standing side by side]

Rafael: Nice! Now put your wings around each other.

Blu: What?

Rafael: Come on, amigo! It's not like she's gonna bite! Will you?

Jewel: We'll see.

Jewel: I can't believe I have to drag your clumsy butt up there.

Blu: Drag me? Watch and learn.

[he leads the way in climbing the tree house, dragging Jewel behind him]

Jewel: Blu? Just wait! Woah, woah!

Blu: Who's dragging whose butt now, huh?

Jewel: [sarcastically] Ha ha, very funny.

Jewel: Luiz is a bulldog?

Luiz: You got something against dogs?

Jewel: I do when they're drooling on me.

Luiz: It's a medical condition.

Luiz: No! No! Hey, amigo, we really need you.

Luiz: She's mean, bro.

Rafael: Luiz, come on! Please! Please! We need your help.

[holds up the chain holding Blu and Jewel together]

Luiz: Hmm. I think I know what to do.

Jewel: [Blu tries to speak as Jewel is standing on him with one clawed foot holding his throat] Que?

Blu: You're standing on my throat!

[she gets off him]

Jewel: Oh, you're an American!

[Blu clears his throat]

Blu: Thanks. I need my throat for talking. So, thank you.

Jewel: You look like me!

Blu: Oh, hi. Hi. My name is Blu. You know, like the cheese with the mold on it, that smells really bad.

[to himself as he realizes what he's just said]

Blu: That's stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Jewel: Guess this is it.

Blu: Yeah. Quite an adventure.

Jewel: End of the line.

Blu: Ah, yes.

Jewel: Guess things like this don't happen in Tinysota.

Blu: Tinysota? Oh! Wait, Minnesota?

Jewel: Yeah.

[laughs]

Blu: That's very good.

Jewel: Right.

Blu: That's very funny actually.

Jewel: Is there anything else I need to know?

Blu: Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath! Happy?'!

Blu: You see, who needs flying?

Jewel: Birds! Birds need flying. Flying is... err... freedom, and, and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?

Blu: Hmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.

Jewel: [Blu throws himself out of the plane and grabs hold of Jewel in the air] Blu! You're crazy! What are you doing?

Blu: I'm not gonna let you go! We're chained-to-each-other birds, remember?

[Jewel kisses Blu]

Lead Marmoset: [from trailer] You two are coming with me.

Jewel: In your little monkey dreams.

Jewel: Luiz is a bulldog?

Luiz: You got something against dogs?

Jewel: I do when they're drooling on me.

Luiz: It's a medical condition!

Blu: Oh Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightning!

Pedro: Hip and hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[Everybody stares]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing...

Nigel: Going somewhere, pretty bird?

Jewel: Oh, yeah. I was just on my way to claw your eyes out!

Blu: [Blu chants to himself with fear whilst trapped in a cage] Okay. Okay. There's no place like home, there's no place like home! Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell! Oh, how I miss my bell.

Jewel: Shh! Play dead.

[she drops to the floor of the cage]

Blu: I don't need to play dead, I'm about to have a heart attack!

Jewel: Just do it!

Blu: Oh, fine!

[he fakes a fall and starts twitching]

Jewel: Stop twitching!

Blu: Come on! It's the twitching that sells it.

Lead marmoset: You two are coming with me.

Jewel: In your little monkey dreams.

[she spits at him]

Blu: Yeah!

[he tries to spit like Jewel but instead just drools on himself]

Blu: That was meant for you!

Blu: So, uh... how far is this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far. Thirty minutes as the crow flies.

Blu: Uh... and how long as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bobo here can't fly.

Rafael: But... but he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly. There are ostriches.

Jewel: You are not an ostrich!

Blu: Well, not technically, but...

Rafael: Wait, wait, wait! My friends, I wanna help, but to walk the whole way, it... it... it can't be done!

[he suddenly notices his kids clambering around his wife asking after him]

Rafael: But hey, we might as well give it a shot. Let's go, quickly.

[he turns Blu and Jewel around and walks away quietly; Jewel turns to look at the kids]

Jewel: [to Blu, after she has pinned him down in the bird sanctuary] Quem é você? Que que está fazendo aqui?

Jewel: Are you ready?

Blu: For what?

[he suddenly thinks she's referring to them mating]

Blu: Oh! Oh! Wow! Uuh! Okay.

[to himself]

Blu: Confidence. Crazy love hawk!

[he goes towards her]

Jewel: Alright.

[Blu tries to kiss Jewel]

Jewel: Woah! Hey!

[she pushes him away]

Jewel: What are you doing?

Blu: What? What? What you wanted me to! But just for argument's sake, uh... what are... what are you doing?

Jewel: I'm trying to escape!

[she points to the air conditioning vent]

Blu: Oh, yeah, escape. Tha... that's where I was going with that thing I just did...

Jewel: Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wait! Did you actually think we were gonna kiss?

Blu: No no no no!

Jewel: We just met!

Blu: Excuse me! Please! I am trying to sleep!

Jewel: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, sleepy head. I'm trying to escape!

Blu: Escape! Why? This cage is awesome.

Jewel: The cage! Oh, what was I thinking? I wouldn't expect a *pet* to understand.

Blu: Pet? Did you just call me a pet? For the record, I am not a pet! I am a companion. And you know what? Do whatever you want! Cause tomorrow morning, Linda will come for me and this whole nightmare will be over.

Jewel: Incredible! You would rather be with a... a... a human than with your own kind!

Blu: Well, that human has given me love and affection for the past fifteen years, whereas my own kind tries to strangle me after fifteen seconds.

Jewel: Yeah, well, because of them, I've lost everything. You can't trust them!

Blu: Of course you can trust humans!

[he hears Jewel make a noise]

Blu: Jewel? Jewel?

[he sees a man hover over him]

Blu: Oh! Hi there.

[the man puts a bag over Blu's head]

Blu: [after Jewel has been caught and placed back in the cage with Blu] That was your plan? To take off and leave me? Gee, thanks!

Jewel: Well, why didn't you follow me?

Blu: Uh...

[doesn't reply as he's too embarrassed to admit he can't fly]

Blu: [trapped in their cage in a room full of the other trapped animals] Okay. Pull it together. The key is not to panic.

Jewel: I'm not panicking!

Blu: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to me. But it's okay, because any minute now, Linda will find us.

Jewel: Oh, great! And then she'll stick us behind another set of bars, right?

Blu: Yeah! I... I mean, no!

Jewel: Look, pet cages might work for you, but I don't want to belong to anyone.

Blu: Hey, are you okay?

Jewel: No, I am definitely not okay!

[she starts throwing herself at the cage bars]

Blu: Woah, woah, woah! Wait, wait! What are you doing?

Jewel: Getting out of here! Are you going to help me or what?

Blu: A-Actually all the survival guides say to sit and wait. And... and help will come.

Jewel: No one is coming!

[she throws herself more violently at the cage]

Blu: Woah!

Jewel: We're on our own and if we just sit here, we're going to die!

Blu: [as Jewel is continuing to throw herself around the cage] Stop! Stop! Why don't you just open the door?

[he slides open the cage door with his beak]

Jewel: Are you kidding me?

Blu: What? It's just a standard flip-slide door.

Jewel: [Jewel flies out of the cage and grabs hold of Blu, but Blu grabs the cage with his beak] What are you doing?

Blu: I can't...

Jewel: What? You can't what?

[Marcel's men open the door to catch them in the act of escaping and Blu lets go of the cage]

Blu: Fly! I can't fly!

[they both fall onto a washline and start sliding across it]

Jewel: You couldn't have told me this before now?

Blu: It didn't matter before now!

[they crash into a wall]

Jewel: I hate you!

Jewel: [after they crash land to the ground] Is there anything else I need to know?

Blu: Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath. Happy?

Jewel: [as they are running away from Marcel's men] Aw, this is great! I'm chained to the only bird in the world who can't fly!

Blu: Actually, there are about forty species of flightless birds.

Jewel: Duck!

Blu: No, ducks can fly.

Jewel: No! Duck!

[referring to them ducking under a cart they're about to encounter]

Jewel: Now, uh... just come on! We need to find a safe place to spend the night.

Blu: Safe? Safe? We are in the jungle! You know when people say 'it's a jungle out there', well I'm pretty sure they don't mean it as a good thing.

Jewel: Look, I hate to break it to you, but this is where our kind naturally lives.

Blu: Hey, hey! Don't talk to me about nature. I watch Animal Planet. I know all about the food chain.

[just then a bug flying by gets eaten by a frog sticking his tongue out to grab it]

Blu: Ah! You see? You see, out here, I'm just an hors d'oeuvre! Nothing more than a feathery spring roll.

Jewel: That is why we stay in the trees and not on the ground.

Jewel: [pointing to a large tree ahead of them] After you.

Blu: Oh! No, I don't think so. Nuh-uh! No. I would feel much more comfortable in something man-made. Um, hey, how about up there?

[pointing to a man-made tree house]

Blu: [as Blu reaches the top of the tree house] You see? Who needs flying?

Jewel: Birds. Birds need flying. Flying is... it's freedom and... and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?

Blu: Mmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.

Jewel: Get some sleep.

Blu: Uh, I-I-I'm probably gonna be up for a little while. Well, cause I'm... I'm still on Minnesota time.

Jewel: Goodnight.

Blu: Good night, Jewel.

[looks out into the sky]

Blu: Good night, Linda.

Jewel: [as they are pulling up a huge rock on a rope] Are you sure this is gonna work?

Blu: Positive. Check out my map.

[pointing to the map he's drawn on the ground]

Jewel: Yeah, that's... that's comforting, thank you. Look, let's just get this chain broken.

Blu: Right. Then we can go and find Linda.

Jewel: No, you can go find Linda. Once this chain is off, I'm gonna go back to being free in the jungle. Deal?

Blu: Fine. Deal.

[he puts one of his wings up accidentally, pulling the lever holding the rock off its hook]

Jewel: [referring to Rafael's children] Oh! Precious, aren't they?

Rafael: Kids! Seventeen of 'em! And one on the way.

[shouting to two of his children shaking an unhatched egg]

Rafael: Hey! He is not a baraka! Stop shaking him!

[turning to Blu and Jewel]

Rafael: They're giving me grey feathers! Oh, this papa needs a break!

Rafael: So, you two lovebirds headed for carnival?

Jewel: Wow! Love birds?

Blu: We're more like acquaintance birds.

Jewel: And not even that! We're more like chained-to-each-other birds.

Blu: Yeah. I... I mean... aaah!

[one of Rafael kids pulls his feather]

Blu: What is it with this kid and feathers?

Rafael: We have no idea. We're having him tested.

Rafael: [as Eva sings out of tune] Like a river of the sweetest honey.

[Blu and Jewel wince as Eva sings]

Jewel: Ooh! I guess love is deaf too.

Jewel: You're sure you're up for this?

Blu: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well it's not like we're just hurling ourselves off a mountain or something, right?

Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

Blu: What?

Rafael: No. Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?

[just then a human tourist hand gliding off the cliff shouts out for help]

Man on glider: Mommy!

Blu: Fun, right?

Blu: Yeah. Fun.

Rafael: [as Rafael is demonstrating flying to Blu] See, it's easy!

Blu: Easy? Easy for you to say. 'Cause from... from here it looks really, really hard!

Jewel: Hey, if you want to see Linda again, this is the only way.

Blu: Okay, you're right.

Jewel: Yes, I am.

Blu: This is for Linda.

Jewel: Right!

Blu: Keep it simple.

Jewel: Easy-breezy.

Blu: Thrust, lift, drag.

Jewel: Oh, come on! Let's go!

[she drags him along]

Blu: Wait!

Rafael: [after Blu and Jewel have crash landed to the ground from Blu's failed attempt at flying] You did not feel it in here.

[pointing to his heart]

Jewel: [sarcastically] You think?

Blu: [after Blu and Jewel have crash-landed to the ground from Blu's failed attempt at flying] I would love to go five minutes without almost getting killed! Is that too much to ask?

Jewel: For a bird who can't fly? Oh, yeah!

Blu: [as they've gotten away from the monkeys] Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightnin'!

Pedro: Hip 'n' hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing.

[they all laugh]

Rafael: You see? Nothing you say makes any sense!

Rafael: [whispering to Blu] Blu, just tell her how you feel.

Blu: [turns to Jewel] Jewel?

Jewel: Yeah?

Blu: I've been wanting to tell you, that I... that I...

[suddenly chokes on a floating flower petal]

Jewel: Oh, how sweet. You're getting choked up.

[turns to look at Blu and realizes he's really choking]

Jewel: Oh! Oh! You're choking! Uh, okay! All right!

[she starts giving him the heimlich maneuver]

Jewel: [as she's happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly] Hey, where you going?

[Blu ignores her and keeps on walking]

Jewel: Blu? Blu, what's wrong?

Blu: Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest. I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.

Jewel: I...

[Nico and Pedro fly down towards them]

Nico: Hey, birds! Stop yappin' and start flappin'! Let's go!

Jewel: I... I... I guess I thought maybe...

Blu: What? That you... you'd come to Minnesota?

[Jewel just looks at him]

Blu: Great! I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.

Jewel: No, that's not what I meant.

Blu: Look, Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.

Jewel: Hey, it's not my fault you can't fly.

Pedro: [to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel] Awkward!

Rafael: [as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue] Okay! Okay! You know what? This is good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.

Blu: You want honesty? Fine. Fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And... and... and you know what? I hate Samba!

Pedro: [Rafael, Nico and Pedro gasp with shock and Nico bursts into tears] Hey! That's a little too far!

Nico: [to Pedro] Make the mean bird take it back!

Blu: Yeah! I said it! Every song sounds exactly the same.

[he mimics the samba music and dance]

Blu: Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Urrgh! I'm tico-taco outta here.

Jewel: Fine! See you around, pet!

[Jewel flies away and Blu walks away]

Rafael: No, no, ,no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together! You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure they both die in the end, but you get my point!

[Nico and Pedro towards Rafael]

Rafael: Ah, young love! Always so melodramatic. All right, boys. Go after her.

Nigel: [Nigel catches Jewel as she's flying] Going somewhere, pretty bird?

Jewel: Oh, yeah! I was just on my way to claw your eyes out!

[she punches him in the face, Nico and Pedro see Nigel get ahold of Jewel]

Nigel: Temper, temper. Now come along, my dear. We're going to a parade. And everybody loves a parade!

Blu: [in the smugglers' float] Hey, Jewel?

Jewel: Blu!

Blu: I'm gonna get you outta here.

Jewel: No, no! You can't be here! You have to go! Nigel is...

[suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws Blu in a cage]

Nigel: Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.

Blu: Oh, come on! You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.

Pedro: Woohoo! You know there guys!

[Blu sees that Nigel has placed Nico, Pedro and Rafael in a cage nearby]

Pedro: We're saved! That's right! That's right! That's right!

Rafael: Uh... I think he means us.

Pedro: Oh.

Nigel: Ah, love! It's such a powerful and stupid thing.

Jewel: [after Blu has released all the other caged birds, Nigel attacks Blu] Let him go!

[Nigel hits Jewel away she falls against the wall of the plane and a cage falls on her wing]

Jewel: Ow!

Blu: Jewel!

Jewel: My wing!

Nigel: Oh, pity! Now we have two useless, flightless birds.

[Blu grabs hold of the hose on the fire extinguisher and attaches it to Nigel's leg]

Blu: Not cool, man! Not cool!

[Blu releases the pressure on the fire extinguisher and Nigel bursts out of the plane]

Jewel: Blu, you're flying!

Blu: Yeah! Woohoo! I'm flying! I'm really flying! You're right! I'm not an ostrich! I'm not an ostrich!

Jewel: [as they're trying to get away from Marcel's men] Wait! Listen to me! Flying may not be my thing, but walking is! Follow my lead. Inside leg, outside leg.

[he starts leading the way walking]

Jewel: Yeah, okay. Got it.

Rafael: Pssst! Blu, down here. Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes".

Blu: That's good. Great idea!

[he turns to Jewel]

Blu: I have beautiful eyes.

Jewel: Aah... yeah. Okay, Sure. They're... they're nice.

Rafael: [flying low, whispers to Blu] No! Her eyes! Her eyes!

Blu: Oh, right! Yeah!

[turns to Jewel]

Blu: Your eyes. Your eyes are great. Not mine. I mean, you know, mine are okay. But yours, I-I bet you can see right through them.

Blu: Those are breath mints, you eat them.

[a blue macaw eats the whole box of mints and starts choking]

Blu: Oh, no, no, no, no, not the whole box! Here let me get... that... out of your... mouth!

[he gets the box of mints out of the blue macaw's throat]

Jewel: Unbelievable.

Jewel: For a bird from Minnesota, you've got some moves.

Blu: Oh, that wasn't a move, it was an accident. But I accept the compliment.

Jewel: It's great Rafael can watch the kids.

Blu: Yup. Looks like you're stuck with me all night.

Jewel: You're my one and only, Blu.

Blu: That's a good thing since I'm the only other one.

[They press their beaks together as to share a kiss]

[from trailer]

Jewel: We are not people, we're birds. We have to get out into the wild and be birds, Blu.

Jewel: Hey. Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it.

Blu: I would do anything for you. You know that, right?

Jewel: Of course I do.

[They snuggle together]

Eduardo: [reunited with his daughter] I'm sorry I can't imagine how alone you must've been

Jewel: Daddy I wasn't alone

[points to Blu]

Jewel: Blu found me

Carla: [seeing her mother give a tearful laugh] Mom? are you okay?

Eduardo: [drops Blu] MOM?

[turns to face his grandkids]

Eduardo: I'm a grandpa?

[taking it in]

Eduardo: I'm a grandpa...

[overjoyed]

Eduardo: LOOK AT ME I'M A GRANDPA

Jewel: [as her father laughs] Daddy... this is Carla... Bia... and Tiago

Bia: Nice to meet you sir!

Eduardo: There is no need for any sir... you can call me pop-pop

Carla: Pop-pop? Ohh I like that

[last lines]

Jewel: Maybe we can do summer's in Rio!

[last lines]

Blu: [repeating what she said to him at the start] You're my one and only Jewel!

Jewel: [touches her beak with his] Awww!

Eduardo: [Before swooping onto the loggers] Lead the way Blu!

Blu: [Overjoyed at his father in law saying his correct name] HA! That's my name! Yes... I am Blu!

[Eduardo a-hums him]

Blu: Oh... right... Birds of blue feather...

Jewel, Tiago, Carla, Bia: [Joined by the entire flock] ... HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER!

Jewel: [On learning her husband is facing the loggers solo] No daddy... I'm not going with you!

Eduardo: You have to go! I will NOT PUT MY FAMILY IN DANGER!

Jewel: BLU... IS MY FAMILY... and I'm not about to leave him!

Blu: [from off-screen] You don't have too!

Jewel: [Touches her beak with his] Are you okay!

Blu: [Looks to his father in law] Look Eduardo... I may not be the birdy-lest bird in the flock... but for once that's a good thing! You know the jungle... I know humans!

Jewel: Honey, we see everything in this profession, but one thing I ain't never seen - man or woman - is a grown-up.

Randy: You like water?

Jewel: I love it. It's actually my second favorite thing in the world.

Randy: Really? And what's your first most?

Jewel: Fucking.

Jewel: Damn stupid girl! She'd GIVE it away if I didn't stay on top of her all the time.

Henry: If I take you to the restaurant, will you come and stay the night in my room?

Jewel: Oh, Henry, not if front of my boy.

Henry: "Not if front of your boy?" He's a grown man, for God's sake. Besides that, you've had him out selling cock since he was twelve years old. It ain't like we haven't known each other for awhile.

Sonny: Hey, Mama. W'don't you just give him some pussy?

Jewel: Is that any way to talk to your poor mama?

Sonny: We ALL failures, Mama.

Jewel: You see, that's easier to say than to live with.

Jewel: Now you listen to me, bitch, and you better listen good. You don't know Sonny like I do. Y' spend one night with him, you'll think he'd do anything for you. Now, he's that way because I trained him to be that way, so don't you go gettin' no fancy ideas about running off and living happily ever after in Texas City, 'cause he don't care ' damn thing about cha. You still belong to me, girl, and you still do as I say, and if you don't, I'll have you cut and thrown out into the street for the winos, and Sonny won't even know you're gone. Do I make myself clear?

Henry: You didn't even give the boy a chance.

Jewel: Don't worry about it. He's doin' what he's best at.

Henry: Yeah, that's right. Drivin' himself off a cliff, just like you taught him, right?

Jewel: You could take me out eatin' if you didn't spend all your money guzzlin' whiskey and gamblin', when the only thing you're any good at's losin'.

Henry: Now, you hold on, woman! We've been through all this before! I don't say nothin' about your ass gettin' fatter by the minute...

Jewel: Now, you leave my ass outta this!

Jewel: I went through it and it's over, it's done with and I wanna forget about it. I passed out, I musta passed out 'cause I woke up this morning with my clothes every which way and I just straightened myself up and I come right here.

Jewel: Yeah, I'm going alright, but I'm going by myself! Don't talk about me, don't even think about me, just do me that favour. You don't want me, I'm used, I'm worn out, I'm bad goods, you can't trust me. Why don't I just go to hell?