Jerry Langford Quotes in The King of Comedy (1982)

Rupert Pupkin: Well I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

Jerry Langford: So did Hitler.

Rupert Pupkin: I'm gonna work 50 times harder, and I'm gonna be 50 times more famous than you.

Jerry Langford: Then you're gonna have idiots like you plaguing your life!

Jerry Langford: Alright, look pal, I gotta tell you... this is a crazy business, but it's not unlike any other business. There are ground rules, and you don't just walk on to a network show without experience. Now I know it's an old, hackneyed expression, but it happens to be the truth. You've got to start at the bottom.

Rupert Pupkin: I know. That's where I am, at the bottom.

Jerry Langford: Well, that's the perfect place to start.

Rupert Pupkin: I know that, but I'm not say... there's gotta be...

Jerry Langford: It looks so simple to the viewer at home, those things that come so easily, that are so relaxed, and looks like it's a matter of just taking another breath. It takes years and years and years of honing that.

Woman in Telephone Booth: [on the phone at a booth] Morris, you will not believe who is coming down here!

[stops Jerry]

Woman in Telephone Booth: Jerry Langford, right?

Jerry Langford: Right.

Woman in Telephone Booth: [talks on the phone again] Oh, Morris, please hold on.

[turns to Jerry]

Woman in Telephone Booth: Jerry, could you please sign my autogr... sign my magazine for me.

Jerry Langford: Yeah.

[signs magazine]

Woman in Telephone Booth: You're just wonderful. I've watched you your entire career. You're a joy to the world. Please, Morr... would you just please say something to my nephew Morris on the phone? He's in the hospital, and anything that...

Jerry Langford: I'm sorry, I'm late.

[hands magazine back and walks away]

Woman in Telephone Booth: You should only get cancer! I *hope* you get cancer!

Jerry Langford: I'm sure you can understand. Doing the kind of show I'm doing, it's mind-boggling. There's so much stuff that comes down... you can't keep your head clear. And if that's the case, I'm wrong. You're right. I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I apologize. I'm just a human being... with all of the foibles and all of the traps... the show, the pressure... the groupies, the autograph hounds... the crew, the incompetence... those behind-the-scenes you think are your friends. You're not sure if you'll be there tomorrow... because of their incompetence. There are wonderful pressures that make every day... a glowing, radiant day in your life. It's terrific. OK, if all of that means nothing... if I'm wrong,in spite of all that... then I apologize. I'm sorry. If you accept my apology... I think we should shake hands. We'll forget the whole thing. I won't press charges. You could be in deep trouble... but I will not press charges.

Rupert Pupkin: [Jerry is trying to throw Rupert out of his home, Rupert is trying to get Jerry to see his comedy material] Alright, alright! I can take a hint, Jerry! I just wanna ask you to listen to my stuff for 15 minutes, that's all! Is that asking too much?

Jerry Langford: Yes, it is. I have a life, OK?

Rupert Pupkin: Well, I have a life too.

Jerry Langford: [shouting] That's not my responsibility!

Rupert Pupkin: Well, it is when you tell me to call you and then you don't take my call?

Jerry Langford: [louder] I told you to call to get rid of ya!

Rupert Pupkin: To get rid of me?

Jerry Langford: That's right!

Rupert Pupkin: OK, all right. I can take a hint.

Jerry Langford: If I didn't tell you that, we'd still be standing on the steps at my apartment!

Rupert Pupkin: Yeah, alright! So I made a mistake!

Jerry Langford: So did Hitler!