Jenny Portman Quotes in Raising Helen (2004)


Jenny Portman Quotes:

  • Audrey Davis: [Audrey asks after Jenny bursts into the motel room she is in with BZ] Aunt Jenny? What are you doing here? How did you find me?

    Jenny Portman: You have ten seconds to get your things together and get in the car.

    Jenny Portman: [to BZ who has just come out of the bathroom] Stay! Ten -...

    Audrey Davis: You're not my mother, if you haven't noticed!

    Jenny Portman: No! But I love you very much, and I will be your worst nightmare if you don't get in that car now! Seven, six...

    BZ: But we're not ready to go yet.

    Jenny Portman: Oh, you're not ready? Well... Well, are you ready for this?

    [Jenny who is pregnant motions to her stomach]

    Jenny Portman: I don't think so. Are you ready to be a parent? I don't think so!

    Jenny Portman: [to Audrey] Four, three...

    Audrey Davis: Are you happy? You've just ruined my entire life!

    Jenny Portman: Well, we'll fix it later! Two...

    [back to BZ]

    Jenny Portman: You!

    BZ: Chill out, Mommy.

    Jenny Portman: Hey!

    BZ: It's all good.

    Jenny Portman: [cutting in] Don't you talk to me like that!

    BZ: It's just a prom.

    Jenny Portman: [cutting in more] You listen to me. If you ever so much as blink in her direction again, I can and will bury you so far in the ground that the heat from the earth's core will incinerate your sorry ass!

  • Jenny Portman: I'd rather sleep in a field, crazy man.

  • Jenny Portman: [as she examines the new apartment] I bet this is lead paint. Kids, no chewing on the window sills!

    Helen Harris: Yeah, stick to the table legs like I taught you.

  • Helen Harris: It's like they've never seen a dress before!

    Jenny Portman: No, they've just never seen a half of a dress.

  • Jenny Portman: You know what they. It's not over 'til the fat lady swings.

  • Jenny Portman: [Being kicked by her unborn child] Ooh, ooh! Sweetie, what did mommy say about kicking while she's having a conversation? You need to wait until she's finished. Thank you very much.

    Helen Harris: Did you just boss around the unborn?

    Jenny Portman: It's never too early to learn good manners.

Browse more character quotes from Raising Helen (2004)