Jean Pierre Napoleon Quotes in Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Jean Pierre Napoleon Quotes:
Jean Pierre Napoleon: You know, eh, I think they did it.
Sam Eagle: No, they didn't!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Yes, they did, and we can pin it.
Sam Eagle: If they did it, how did they do it?
Jean Pierre Napoleon: If they didn't, how did they didn't?
Sam Eagle: If they didn't, then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it.
Jean Pierre Napoleon: If they didn't, then I knew it! And with nothing I can prove it!... Excuse me.
Sam Eagle: [holding up a C.I.A. badge] C.I.A.
Jean Pierre Napoleon: [holding up an Interpol badge] Interpol.
Sam Eagle: This is my travel badge.
[holds up a larger C.I.A. badge]
Sam Eagle: Here's my real badge.
Jean Pierre Napoleon: You must have been looking at the wrong badge.
[opens up his coat and his shirt, revealing an enormous Interpol badge underneath; Sam then unwraps a gigantic C.I.A. badge]
Sam Eagle: You were saying?
Jean Pierre Napoleon: [about to interrogate Miss Piggy] Alors, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop!
[flips table to reveal a candlelit dinner]
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside! / Now's your chance to save your hide!
Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know / it's a crime to steal the show.
Sam Eagle: Tell us how the art was taken!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: If you want to save your bacon!
Miss Piggy: I haven't seen your missing art / All I've stolen is audience's hearts.
Sam Eagle: We can give you a plea deal!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: All you have to do is squeal!
Miss Piggy: I'm not a thief, I don't know how / All I've ever taken is a bow!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: We'll catch the swine that did this job!
Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep! Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion!
Jean Pierre Napoleon, Sam Eagle: Thank you, Piggy, no more questions!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: [to Sam] I think she likes me.
Sam Eagle: Kermit, let's begin! / Describe the day you played Berlin!
Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about / We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: That night at 10:03 / were you inside the portrait gallery?
Constantine: From 10:00 to 10:04 / was when we did the show encore!
Sam Eagle: Hmmm, frog, we've got our doubts / Can you confirm your whereabouts?
Constantine: My alibi is watertight / The audience saw me sing all night.
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Monsieur, we know you did the crime!
Constantine: I was on stage that whole time / Ask who sang "Rainbow Connection"!
Sam Eagle, Jean Pierre Napoleon: Thank you, Kermit! No more questions!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Bring in the purple guy with the schnozz!
[Gonzo enters to be interrogated]
Sam Eagle: Do you remember what you did / on the night you played Madrid?
Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull / and rushed off stage to the hospital!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Gonzo, what do you know / about the sculpture thefts at Madrid's Prado?
Gonzo: I never saw the stolen busts / I spent the night in bed concussed.
Sam Eagle: The truth is, Gonzo, the clock is ticking.
Gonzo: If you don't believe me, ask the chicken! Camilla was there, she'll cooperate!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Madame, are you willing to corroborate?
Camilla: Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk!
Sam Eagle: Will someone get this chicken out of here?
Gonzo: Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection!
Jean Pierre Napoleon, Sam Eagle: Thank you, Gonzo! No more questions!
[singing, after interrogating the Muppets about the robberies]
Jean Pierre Napoleon: They didn't!
Sam Eagle: No they didn't!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: There's no way they did a crime!
Sam Eagle: They couldn't, they're too stupid!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: They're not criminal masterminds!
Sam Eagle: They may not know who did it, but we know they didn't do it!
Jean Pierre Napoleon, Sam Eagle: So we know who didn't do it, we know who didn't do it!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: They're incapable of being culpable!
Fozzie Bear: I can do an Elvis impression!
Sam Eagle, Jean Pierre Napoleon: ...Thank you, Muppets! No more questions!
Swedish Chef: Shern de shern de herf! Sher de chicky en de farney hug!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: To help with our investigation, can you do a full translation?
Translator: What the Chef said to you was "Schnoop do schnnop do schnook". It's not Swedish.
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