Jean Maitland Quotes in Stage Door (1937)

Terry Randall: I see that, in addition to your other charms, you have that insolence generated by an inferior upbringing.

Jean Maitland: Hmm! Fancy clothes, fancy language and everything!

Terry Randall: Unfortunately, I learned to speak English correctly.

Jean Maitland: That won't be of much use to you here. We all talk pig latin.

Jean Maitland: We started off on the wrong foot. Let's stay that way.

Jean Maitland: When I get back to my room, you're the only thing I want to find missing.

Terry Randall: [entering the boarding house after trying the wrong door] How many doors are there to this place?

Jean Maitland: Well, there's the trap door, the humidor, and the cuspidor. How many doors would you like?

Jean Maitland: Do you mind if I ask a personal question?

Terry Randall: Another one?

Jean Maitland: Are these trunks full of bodies?

Terry Randall: Just those, but I don't intend to unpack them.

Jean Maitland: Hey, that's a kind of good-lookin' piece of jackrabbit you got there.

Linda Shaw: Oh, it's just a little trinket my "Aunt Susan" sent over.

Jean Maitland: Say, I think it's very unselfish of those little animals to give up their lives to keep other animals warm.

Linda Shaw: You know, they're very smart little animals. They never give up their lives for the wrong people.

Jean Maitland: Well, you understand the rodent family much better than I do.

Jean Maitland: [crassly screaming from the bottom of the stairs] OH, LINDA!

Linda Shaw: [coming down the stairs] Maybe if you spoke a little LOUDER next time, everyone in the whole HOUSE could hear you.

Jean Maitland: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, I forget that you're old and deaf.

Jean Maitland: Hey, you're not gonna catch the opening tonight, huh?

Eve: No, I'm going tomorrow and catch the closing.

Judy Canfield: Do you want a date?

Jean Maitland: To some other lumberman?

Judy Canfield: Am I supposed to apologize for being born in Seattle?

Jean Maitland: Well, the last couple we went stepping with were made of lumber. Especially their feet.

Judy Canfield: All right, all right, you can stay here and gorge yourself on lamb stew again. Hey, Pat, wanna...

Jean Maitland: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait! Is it for dinner?

Judy Canfield: Yes!

Jean Maitland: Well, why didn't you say so before you spoke. That lamb stew has got me counting sheep at night.

Linda Shaw: If you were a little more considerate of your elders, maybe Mr. Powell would send his car for you someday. Of course, he would probably take one look at you and send you right back again, but then you have to expect that.

Jean Maitland: Is that so?

Linda Shaw: Do you know, I think I could fix you up with Mr. Powell's chauffeur. The chauffeur has a very nice car too.

Jean Maitland: Yes, but I understand Mr. Powell's chauffeur doesn't go as far in his car as Mr. Powell does.

Linda Shaw: Even a chauffer has to have an incentive!

Jean Maitland: Well, you should know!

Bill: One of the best press campaigns...

[Offers Jean cigaret]

Jean Maitland: No thanks. Gave it up when I was seven.

Bill: Bright girl. Busy tonight?

Jean Maitland: Yes.

[Following routine lines omitted]

Bill: Well, you haven't given up eating, have you?

Jean Maitland: It isn't that. It's - just that I think we hadn't better see each other for a while.

Bill: Why?

Jean Maitland: I just think it's better, that's all.

Bill: [long pause] O-h-h-h.

Jean Maitland: Why do you say "o-h-h-h" like that?

Bill: Well, how would you say it?

Jean Maitland: You make it sound like it meant something else.

Bill: Well, does it?

Jean Maitland: Whatever I do is my own business.

Annie: Are you coming or aren't you?

Jean Maitland: Oh shut up.

Bill: Did you eat something sour for lunch today?

Jean Maitland: [to Linda Shaw as she is leaving for a dinner date] Don't chew the bones and give yourself away!

Jean Maitland: Hey Kay! why didn't you ay hello to me?

Kay Hamilton: I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

Jean Maitland: Well, you couldn't help but hear me.

Jean Maitland: Maybe I could fix you up with Mr. Powell's chauffeur. the chauffeur has a very nice car too.

Linda Shaw: Yes, but I'm told the chauffeur doesn't go as far in his car aa Mr. Powell does.

Jean Maitland: Where is she? Oh, you. Come on, take 'em off.

Linda Shaw: Are you speaking to me?

Jean Maitland: You heard what I said! Take off those stockings or I will! And take a little of your hide off with 'em.

Linda Shaw: What do you mean? They are my stockings.

Jean Maitland: They are not! If you think I'm going to give up my lunch to buy you stockings, you're crazy.

Linda Shaw: Well, you owe me a pair anyway.

Jean Maitland: From now on you wear your own stockings or go bare legged! The places you go, it doesn't make any difference anyway.

Jean Maitland: I'll slap her ears flat against the back of her head

Linda Shaw: I'd like to see you try it.

Jean Maitland: Come on down here!

Jean Maitland: I'll be their my pet! You know me, the lumberman's delight!

Jean Maitland: We could leave the trunks here and sleep in the hall. There's no use crowding the trunks.

Terry Randall: [meeting sarcasm with sarcasm] I don't know what we're going to do when the wolf hounds arrive. I hope you don't mind animals.

Jean Maitland: Oh, not at all. I roomed with a great many of them before.

Jean Maitland: Hey there, Ella! That's still a community tub, you know.

Ella: I'll be out in a minute.

Jean Maitland: You've been in there a half hour. What do you think you are, a trained seal?

Ella: What'd you say?

Jean Maitland: I said if you want to drowned yourself, why don't you use the ocean.

Jean Maitland: What's the matter?

Kay Hamilton: Oh, it's just one of those days. Let's sit down and have a good cry.

Jean Maitland: All right. You can cry on my shoulder. I'm gonna go bathe anyhow.

Jean Maitland: Did you ever dance with one of those Seattle romeos?

Terry Randall: Maybe. I don't remember.

Jean Maitland: Well, if you did, you'd remember it all right.

Terry Randall: Why do you go out with them?

Jean Maitland: I'll bite, why do I? They not only jump on you but they bore you to death.

Jean Maitland: Why don't you sell some of those clothes and live in a decent place.

Terry Randall: Isn't this a decent place?

Jean Maitland: No!

Anthony Powell: You girls rehearsing for a musical?

Jean Maitland: No, we're just getting over the DTs.

Jean Maitland: I didn't like the way he looked at me.

Annie: You should be glad he looked at you at all.

Judy Canfield: Yeah.

Jean Maitland: He kinda makes you feel like you ought to run home and put on a tin overcoat.

Jean Maitland: He wasn't looking for an act, he was putting one on!

Annie: You ought to stop at a filling station and get pumped up!

Judy Canfield: Ah, she ain't exactly a flat, dearie, just a slow leak.

Olga: If it's not food, it's men. Can't you talk about anything else?

Judy Canfield: And what else is there?

Jean Maitland: Call out the Marines, kids! The Depression is over!

Linda Shaw: May I come in?

Jean Maitland: Oh, sure. I guess you'll be safe. The exterminators won't be here until tomorrow.

Linda Shaw: How did they miss you on their last visit?

Jean Maitland: It must be galling to you older women to lose your meal ticket to a younger riffraff.

Linda Shaw: Just a leave of absence, dearie. And, in the meantime, I have my lovely sable coat and my star sapphire to keep me company.

Jean Maitland: It's lovely, but, I'm afraid you paid too much for it.

Linda Shaw: That's your mistake. I'm not as generous as my Aunt Susan.

Jean Maitland: Well, goodbye, thanks for calling. If you ever need a good pallbearer, remember, I'm at your service.

Jean Maitland: Why shouldn't I go out with him? I think he's very charming.

Terry Randall: So are snakes.

Jean Maitland: You know, you're funny. In some ways, you're not such a bad egg.

Judy Canfield: She doesn't even know what a pheasant is.

Linda Shaw: Naturally, there's a difference between pheasant and peasant.

Jean Maitland: Oh, my friend wouldn't think of serving peasants.

Linda Shaw: No, but he's willing to take them out once or twice.

Jean Maitland: I wish I'd been born lucky instead of beautiful and hungry.

Anthony Powell: You can't have everything. You are beautiful. I'm the lucky one. Will you have a little champagne?

Jean Maitland: No, thanks. I won't be able to stand up as it is.

Jean Maitland: That's a wonderful view.

Anthony Powell: Oh, yes. It is.

Jean Maitland: Wonderful.

Anthony Powell: It's a wonderful little view. It's a beautiful city! Just like a fairyland. It's full of color, romance, illusion, glamour.

Jean Maitland: Maybe it depends on which window you see it from.

Jean Maitland: I love New York from up here. It looks all rouged and manicured and ready to go out for the evening.

Anthony Powell: You're quite a little philosopher, aren't you.

Jean Maitland: Oh, it's probably the champagne talking.

Anthony Powell: Mighty good talk.

Jean Maitland: It's mighty good champagne.

Anthony Powell: Let's have a little bit more poured.

Anthony Powell: I never believe in making pretenses. Lots of men who are separated from their wives simply let it be understood that they're not married. Now, I believe in this day and age, that a man can have his home on the one hand and still live his own life.

Jean Maitland: That's right.

Anthony Powell: That is, any man of character.

Jean Maitland: Well, that's big of you.

Anthony Powell: Well, it just happens to be the way I believe.

Jean Maitland: That is very big of you.

Anthony Powell: Why don't you relax.

Anthony Powell: I'll be the sculptor and you'll be the clay. I'll mold you to the greatest dancer Broadway has ever known. I'll be Pygmalion. You'll be Galatea.

Jean Maitland: It sounds like a fairy story.

Anthony Powell: Isn't life a fairy story? Aren't grown up people little children at heart? Oh, I know at the office I'm gruff Anthony Powell, theatrical producer. That's a pose. Here with you, I'm just a tired little boy with a dream.

Jean Maitland: Hey, you're not going to catch the opening tonight, huh?

Eve: No, I'm going tomorrow and catch the closing.

Eve: I'll never put my trust in males again.

Terry Randall: What happened to Eve?

Jean Maitland: She's broken hearted. Henry's in a cat hospital.

Terry Randall: An accident?

Jean Maitland: He just had a litter of kittens.

Terry Randall: Well, that's easy to solve. Change his name to Henrietta.

Jean Maitland: Tonight, I feel like sitting out in the moonlight, having somebody hold my hand.