Jayne Cobb Quotes in Serenity (2005)

Kaylee Frye: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!

Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Do you want to run this ship?

Jayne Cobb: Yes!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [caught off guard] Well... you can't...

Jayne Cobb: Shiny. Let's be bad guys.

Jayne Cobb: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.

Jayne Cobb: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.

Jayne Cobb: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades.

[Jayne groans]

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades!

Zoë: We crashin' again?

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Go talk to your husband. Is the mule prepped?

Zoë: Good to go sir. Just loading her up. Are those grenades?

Jayne Cobb: Cap'n doesn't want them.

Zoë: We're robbing the place, we're not occupying it.

Jayne Cobb: Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

Jayne Cobb: Ain't logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?

Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right."

Jayne Cobb: I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me!

[Mal aims pistol squarely at Jayne]

Jayne Cobb: Well, don't shoot me first!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I know she meant to kill me 'fore the Doc put her to sleep, which how exactly does that work anyhow?

Dr. Simon Tam: Safeword. The people who helped me break River out - they had intel that River and the other subjects were being embedded with behavioral conditioning. They taught me a safeword, in case... something happened.

Kaylee Frye: Not sure I get it.

Dr. Simon Tam: A phrase that's encoded in her brain, that makes her fall asleep. If I speak the words, "Eta...

Jayne Cobb: Well don't say it!

Zoë: It only works on her, Jayne.

Jayne Cobb: Oh... Well, now I know that.

Zoë: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?

[looks at the other crew members struggling with their guns]

Jayne Cobb: Well, I might.

Jayne Cobb: [as Mal's talking to the Vault Guard] MAL!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Every heist he's gotta start yellin' my name!

Jayne Cobb: She is startin' to damage my calm.

Zoë: Jayne!

Jayne Cobb: She's *right*! Everybody's dead!... This whole world is dead for no reason!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?

Dr. Simon Tam: I thought she was getting better.

Jayne Cobb: And I thought they was getting off. Didn't we have an intricate plan on how they was gonna be not here any more?

Kaylee Frye: We couldn't leave them now.

Jayne Cobb: No, now that she's a killer woman, we ought to be bringing her tea and dumplings.

Zoë: How much ammo we got left?

Jayne Cobb: Three full mags, and my swinging cod!

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: So I'm noticing. Is there a problem we don't know of?

[pause]

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You got a sweet take kissing your foot. How about you take your 25% and we can talk about the next job?

Fanty: Well our end is forty, precious.

Jayne Cobb: My muscular buttocks it's forty.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I didn't start this.

Jayne Cobb: No, that's right. Alliance starts the war, and then you volunteer. Battle of Serenity, Mal. Besides Zoe here, how many...

[Mal turns to walk away]

Jayne Cobb: Hey, I'm talking at you! How many men in your platoon came out of there alive?

Zoë: You wanna leave this room.

Jayne Cobb: Damn right, I do.

[chased by a Reaver aircraft]

Jayne Cobb: How come they ain't blowin' us out the air?

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: They wanna run us down. The up-close kill.

River Tam: They want us alive when they eat us.

Jayne Cobb: What're we expectin' to find here that equals the worth of a turd?