Javier Quotes in Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Chris D'Amico: [posing with guns] I know what my role is in this, Javier. My dad was a crime boss, so it just makes sense. I'm a super-villain! It's evolution.

Javier: Come on, just put those things down before you hurt somebody, Chris.

Chris D'Amico: That's not my name.

Javier: Okay, okay... uh, red-Red Mist.

Chris D'Amico: No, Red Mist was my superhero name. Henceforth I'll be known as The Motherfucker!

Chris D'Amico: Javier, thank you. I couldn't do this without you. You're pretty much like the only real family I have left.

Javier: Not a problem, man. I got your back.

Chris D'Amico: Hey, it's kind of like you're the Alfred to my evil Bruce Wayne.

Javier: Did you just call me your fucking butler?

Chris D'Amico: Yeah, is that not a compliment? Shit, my bad.

Javier: [referring to Mrs. D'Amico] Damn she had a nice pair of guns.

Chris D'Amico: Dude, she's dead! Don't talk about her tits.

Javier: [holding pistols] I was talking about these.

Javier: That's a lot of prepositions.

Janine: Javier. Javier!

Javier: Yes?

Janine: Javier, if I asked you an honest question, do you think you could give me an honest answer?

Javier: I think so.

Janine: Good. Because I think some of your guys have been - smoking. Javier?

Javier: Is that the question?

Janine: Yes.

Javier: Oh. It seemed like a statement.

Janine: The question part was implied...

Javier: I didn't really hear it in the inflection...

Janine: Javier - have your guys been smoking or not?

Javier: No, ma'am. My guys don't smoke on the job site. They're all good guys. ~~~ I'm pretty sure.

Janine: Are you sure your guys aren't sneaking around here? And smoking? And lying to me? And - smoking? ~~I need you to be honest with me, Javier. Because I can't have someone lying to me. To my face. Under my roof. On my time.

Javier: That's a lot of prepositions...

Javier: [during a massage] This is what you need. This is why you paid.

Mamie: [stammering] Well, it was... it was a gift certificate.

Javier: Much has been written about the art of bullfighting, but I can sum it up in one sentence: get out of the way of the bull, you idiot! Otherwise he will rip open your anus like it was a cheap velcro wallet.

Reggie: Marco... good news! The cops found the car and your girlfriend... the BITCH is in JAIL!

Javier: Are you going to visit her in Jail, Marco?

Marco: Fuck off!

JJ: Maybe you can get laid again

Lance: Make sure you get a woman's jail.

Bobby: Why? He could get laid in a men's jail too right?

Reggie: Where's Sean? I'm going to kill that Irish fuck

Mohammed: How did they find the car?

Reggie: Oh this is a good one... She a degenerate gambler drove the car to Vegas... guess what... THE BITCH WON! Ever come to my meetings on time asshole1

Sean: I got a note from my doctor

Reggie: Removed MOTH from right ear! You had a bug living in your head?

Sean: It crawled in there... what's I supposed to do?

Reggie: Go sit next to Marco... He's my NEW genius. Okay, we have to pick up the pace.You guys should be doing a lot better... You're letting too many customers walk. I want to hear some of their excuses. Try and STUMP me... I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. COME ON!

Javier: "I'm just looking"

Reggie: I'm just selling. Can't really look at a car unless you drive it. NEXT.

Ali: "I think I can get a better deal somewhere else"

Reggie: Sir, we all pay the same for cars, nobody can give you a better deal for the cars. COME inside and I'LL SHOW YOU.

Bobby: "This is the first place I've been to"

Reggie: Then You're lucky you came to the best place first!

JJ: "I have to see what kind of Interest rate my credit union can give me"

Reggie: We have a book that lists all the credit unions. I can tell you what your rate and payments will be. COME ON GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE!

Sean: "I have to check with my wife"

Reggie: What's the phone number, we'll call her right now.

Bobby: "I have to look a couple other cars first"

Reggie: Why? Consumer Reports, Car and Driver, Triple AAA... they've looked all the cars for you and they say THIS ONE'S THE BEST!

Harry Balbo: [talking at work] As a matter of fact the other day she said to keep her eye out for someone tasty... so I immediately thought of you, Javi. I hope you don't mind.

Javier: You've come to the right man, Harry. I mean, I don't mean to blow my own horn, but I am a sexual tyrannosaurus... rex!

Harry Balbo: I know... I know. That's why I think that maybe you might be able to take care of her. You might be able to give her what she needs. Keep her satisfied.

Javier: Well, Harry, if she is half the girl you say she is, I'll give her everything I've got... every last drop.

Harry Balbo: I know. I know you will, Javi. I'm counting on it.

Suarez: For the moment, the Americans think they've dodged a bullet. Do not be late.

Javier: Don't worry about me.

Suarez: I won't. Your brother spoke very highly of your Special Forces training. Do not disappoint him.

[repeated line]

Javier: Where's my brother?

Javier: Well then... We're going to give you several rolls of film. We'll send you to New York... Actually to New Jersey - a small town next to New York. Once you go through Customs you'll be met by our people. They will take you to a safe place. We'll develop the rolls. And in five, six days you'll be back here with all your money taking care of your problems.

[from trailer]

Javier: What are you reading?

Luisa Rey: Old letters.

Javier: Why do you keep reading them?

Luisa Rey: I don't know. Just trying to understand why we keep making the same mistakes... over and over.

Akeelah: [Javier has just kissed her] Why'd you do that?

Javier: I had an impulse. Are you gonna sue me for sexual harassment?

[pause, then they both laugh]