Janine Quotes in He's Just Not That Into You (2009)

Gigi: I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?

Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.

Gigi: No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.

Janine: Ok.

Gigi: Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.

Janine: Javier. Javier!

Javier: Yes?

Janine: Javier, if I asked you an honest question, do you think you could give me an honest answer?

Javier: I think so.

Janine: Good. Because I think some of your guys have been - smoking. Javier?

Javier: Is that the question?

Janine: Yes.

Javier: Oh. It seemed like a statement.

Janine: The question part was implied...

Javier: I didn't really hear it in the inflection...

Janine: Javier - have your guys been smoking or not?

Javier: No, ma'am. My guys don't smoke on the job site. They're all good guys. ~~~ I'm pretty sure.

Janine: Are you sure your guys aren't sneaking around here? And smoking? And lying to me? And - smoking? ~~I need you to be honest with me, Javier. Because I can't have someone lying to me. To my face. Under my roof. On my time.

Javier: That's a lot of prepositions...

Janine: He's totally gonna call.

Michael Newman: [in a flashback of his and Donna's first kiss, just as it occurs] Yeah!

Janine: [offscreen] Donna!

[appears onscreen dressed as a punk, sees them kissing]

Janine: Donna - Oh, my God! I'm so horny now.

Michael Newman: Oh, God. Get me out of here.

Janine: [after Donna kisses Michael] Oh, my God. I want that so bad. A husband that I can kiss and love and give juice too.

Michael Newman: You've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers. I think you've given enough juice to everybody. Love juice.

Janine: You know way too much about me. I should've never done that Montel Williams show.

Michael Newman: Even Montel Williams thinks you're crazy and he's seen a lot of shit.

Janine: I was desperate for companionship! All of my husbands... All of them have emotionally abandoned me.

Michael Newman: They went to work. You had sex with their unemployed brothers. You're a horndog.

Tania: Well we, you know... and he couldn't so I...

[makes hand to mouth gesture]

Tania: ... and I noticed there was lipstick on it.

Janine: On what?

Tania: His dick!

Nicole: People invite us to parties because they know we have a good time. We're mad.

Janine: Pah-ty, pah-ty, pah-ty.

Nicole: It's our ee-mage.

Muriel: We're mad!

Janine: Wrong: you were completely wrong; not right in any way, shape or form. Just Queen Wrong of the bastard fucking Wrong people. That's my opinion, Molly and if there is another side, I can't bloody see it.

Rooney: Hey, let me buy you a Coke or somethin'!

Janine: Oh, hot shit!

John Solomon: I literally can not wait to feel myself inside you!

Janine: Woah! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup.

Dean Solomon: Well that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing.

Ken: You're not being nice!

Janine: FUCK YOU!

[crashes through glass door]

Janine: [comforting Lee] It's all right. I'm going to get you some ice, baby. It's okay

[first lines]

Bessie: Uh, Janine, I wonder if you could tell me how long I might have to wait, because I left Aunt Ruth at home in charge of dad, and...

Janine: You'll have to see Doctor Wally, because Doctor Serrot is on vacation.

[finishes typing "I quit" letter]

Bessie: See "Doctor who"?