Jane Lockhart Quotes in Not Another Happy Ending (2013)

Jane Lockhart: You don't have to be miserable to write. You do it because you have to, because it gnaws away at your insides if you try to ignore it. Because if you don't write, you might as well be dead.

Jane Lockhart: [upon meeting Tom] So, Young European Publisher of the Year, Runner Up? That's really impressive. I have a swimming certificate.

Jane Lockhart: Willie? Do your characters ever... talk to you?

Willie: Sure. All the time. That's why I've got this.

[typing loudly]

Willie: Drowns out the bastards.

Jane Lockhart: [eulogizing] Why is it that the saddest endings always seem the truest? In the stories I told myself I was always the heroine - always reaching for my happy ending. It didn't turn out that way. I won't get to spend the rest of my life with him. But I was loved. And that's enough.

Jane Lockhart: Look, I'm sorry... about Willie. He shouldn't have hit you even though you did deserve it.

Tom Duval: Jane, please open the door. Jane, I'm not good at this countryside stuff. Alright?

[Jane doesn't open the door]

Tom Duval: I think I saw a bear.

Jane Lockhart: [confused]

[inaudible]

Jane Lockhart: Bear?

Tom Duval: Jane.

[long pause]

Tom Duval: I'm sorry.

[Jane opens door]

Tom Duval: I block you.

Jane Lockhart: I block you too.

[They kiss]

Jane Lockhart: I think you just want to sit and write while you stare at my tits.

Willie: They are great tits.

Darsie: [Jane is at home, typing on her laptop computer and is bare naked. Darsie is reading a magazine] I will not do nudity unless it is essential to the plot.

Jane Lockhart: [the doorbell rings] Oh, you must be joking!

Tom Duval: Jane?

Jane Lockhart: Just go away!

Tom Duval: I've got to talk to you. Please, open the door.

Jane Lockhart: [Telephone rings] Hold on, a minute!

[Darsie gives Jane the telephone]

Jane Lockhart: Hello?

Voice on Telephone.: You need to hear about our great deal on home insurance.

[Smoke alarm beeps]

Voice on Telephone.: Have you ever thought about what would happen in your house caught fire?

Darsie: You're meringues, Jane.

Jane Lockhart: [Jane rushes over to the cooker] Shit! Shit! Shit!

Tom Duval: Jane? Are you okay?

Jane Lockhart: [Jane takes the lemon meringue pies out of the cooker] Shit! Shit! Jesus!

Jane Lockhart: [Tom gets the spare key and opens the door and enters and stops and stares in amazement at Jane. Her tray of lemon meringue pies conceal her bare breasts. Jane stares back in embarrassment. Tom sighs] STOP LOOKING!

[Tom closes the door and Jane races back into the kitchen]