Jandice Quotes in Masterminds (2016)

Jandice: [Kelly and Jandice fight. Kelly attacks her with a tube of feminine cream] No, not the Vagaway! They don't make it anymore!

Jandice: A couple years back, I was at a youth praise concert at church, and I saw the most handsome man that I had ever seen in the world. He was looking right at me. We went on a date, and then we fell very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very deeply in love. And then he died. Snake bite. At his funeral, I was very, very distraught. I couldn't keep myself together. And I saw this... other man. A distant cousin of the deceased. He was a pallbearer, and he was kinda strugglin' to hold up his end of the casket.

David Ghantt: I had a hard time liftin' it up.

Jandice: In any case, we got to talkin' afterwards, and I thought, well, that one's dead, this one's alive. I'll take the live one. Now, here we are, two years later.