Jan Wolfhouse Quotes in Beerfest (2006)


Jan Wolfhouse Quotes:

  • Jan Wolfhouse: Get bent, Umlaut

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Somehow I cloned a batch of monkey frogs.

    Todd Wolfhouse: They hand out Nobel prizes for stuff like that?

    Jan Wolfhouse: Let me see that, let me see you little...

    [looking in to the bag, monkey frog screams]

    Jan Wolfhouse: Oh my god!

    Todd Wolfhouse: Oh my god, what have you done?

  • Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.

    Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

  • Great Gam Gam: [seeing Jan's black eye] What happened to you?

    Jan Wolfhouse: Oh, I, uh, accidentally walked into a wall... the Berlin Wall...

  • Jan Wolfhouse: So yeah, I heard you got fired from the brewery?

    Landfill: [Landfill gets mad, throws his trophy] God damn brewery! You know that brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drink 45 of them, and I'm the asshole!

  • Barry Badrinath: [about Great Gam Gam] All I'm saying is... that whore thing could be a real possibility. Some of my best friends are whores.

    Jan Wolfhouse: We know, Barry.

  • Jan Wolfhouse: [Barry picked up a woman] Are you sure you want to do this?

    Barry Badrinath: Are you kidding? She's hot as hell! I'm just lookin' for a little slap n' pickle.

    Jan Wolfhouse: You're drunk.

    Barry Badrinath: Hey... I'm drunk, you're drunk... everybody's drunk!

  • Jan Wolfhouse: And here's something else you forgot to factor in - we're not that drunk.

    Pim Scutney: Did you hear that everybody? They said they're not that drunk! Cheeky bastards!

    Crowd: [shouting along] They're not that drunk! They're not that drunk! They're not that drunk!

  • Todd Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?

    Jan Wolfhouse: This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore.

    Todd Wolfhouse: [thinks about it for a second, then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

  • Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.

    Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on, meine bitch.

  • Jan Wolfhouse: Where are you taking him?

    [Two shots of a gun]

    Otto: He is of no concern to you.

  • Otto: Despite your thievery, we are prepared to buy it from you right now... in cash.

    [opens suitcase of euros]

    Jan Wolfhouse: Big deal. A suitcase full of monopoly money.

    Schlemmer: Come on, those are euros.

    Landfill: What's that, like pesos?

    Otto: That is legal European tender!

    Rolf: I told you we should have brought Deutsch marks.

    Gunter: But they are so hard to find!

  • Jan Wolfhouse: So what else do the Germans do?

    Great Gam Gam: They also practice by drinking the urine of a ram.

    Todd Wolfhouse: The - the what?

    Great Gam Gam: They drink ram's piss.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Because of the pH balance?

    Great Gam Gam: No... because if you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: She said "fuck."

Browse more character quotes from Beerfest (2006)