Jan Brady Quotes in The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)

Peter Brady: If Mom and Dad have to sell the house, we'll have to move.

Bobby Brady: Go to a new school.

Jan Brady: Make new friends.

Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.

Marcia Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I've got it! We could enter that Search For The Stars contest! First prize is twenty thousand dollars!

Greg Brady: That's a great idea, Marcia!

Bobby Brady: Great idea, Marcia!

Jan Brady: Am I invisible? Do I not have a voice? I had that idea two days ago!

Peter Brady: [disgusted] Oh come on, Jan.

Trucker: Sounds like some family misses someone they love very much.

Jan Brady: I don't have a family!

Trucker: Oh, no family. You know, sometimes I'm out here working the graveyard shift, and, I can't help thinking what might have been. If I had settled down early and had kids. Three boys, three girls. Ah, but then a little voice in my head says "are you kidding? They'd probably just treat you like a maid."

[Offering a cup to her]

Trucker: You want some of this, Jan?

Jan Brady: No thanks. You have a little voice in your head, too?

Trucker: Oh, honey, when you're on the road as long as I am, you've gotta talk to somebody.

Jan Brady: [in her head] Let's knock over a 7-Eleven!

Jan Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I saw a sign at school today for a Search For The Stars contest. First prize is exactly twenty thousand dollars.

Marcia Brady: Oh sure Jan, like we'd really win.

Jan Brady: [her demonic inner voices] Watch my head spin! Kill! Kill! Kill!

[out loud]

Jan Brady: No, stop it! I can't take it anymore!

[her demonic inner voices]

Jan Brady: Ah, shut up you loser!

Grandma: Jan, cut the crap!

Jan Brady: They're gone! Thank you Grandma!

Marcia Brady: [in Jan's thought] But Jan, you don't have friends. You're just jealous Jan.

[Jan wakes up, holds a pair of scissors like a knife, and starts to cut Marcia's hair]

Cindy Brady: Jan, what are you doing?

Jan Brady: Go back to sleep Cindy!

Cindy Brady: Jan don't. Marcia's hair is so beautiful.

Jan Brady: Exactly. That's why I'm gonna make alot of money when I sell it.

[Jan continues to cut Marcia's hair]

Jan Brady: [laughs psychotically]

Cindy Brady: [Screams]

[Carol and Alice come into the room]

Carol Brady: Jan, what are you doing?

[Marcia's got a new hairdo]

Carol Brady: Oh Marcia, I love your hair!

Alice: What a groovy hairdo!

Cindy Brady: Oh, you're so beautiful!

Jan Brady: No! She was supposed to look bad! No! No!

[Jan wakes up]

Jan Brady: What a horrible dream.

Jan Brady: Marcia did it again. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Jan Brady: [her inner voice] She has every right to be mad; they are her socks. But why does Marcia get all the socks? Why does Marcia get all the trophies? Why does Marcia get all the good drawers?

[out loud]

Jan Brady: Yeah, why does Marcia get everything? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Noreen: Hey Marcia.

Jan Brady: I'm not Marcia. I'm Jan.

Greg Brady: And that's why I called this meeting.

Marcia Brady: Greg, what are we going to do?

Peter Brady: Yeah, if we don't raise $20,000 in one week, we'll have to move.

Bobby Brady: And go to a new school.

Jan Brady: And make new friends.

Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.

Jan Brady: His name is George.

Marcia Brady: George what?

Jan Brady: George, uhhh Tropicana!

Carol Brady: What a nice name. Is he Cuban?

Jan Brady: No i mean... Glass. George Glass

Marcia Brady: That's funny. I've never heard of a George Glass at our school.

Jan Brady: That's because he's a transfer student. He came in the last week of school. He's really good looking and he thinks I'm super cool.

Marcia Brady: Sure, Jan.

[all the Brady kids and Alice are tied together by a staircase from Roy Martin, who left and kidnapped mom, they all think in their heads]

Bobby Brady: If I had been a better detective, I would've been on Mr. Martin sooner. This is all my fault.

Cindy Brady: If I wasn't too busy looking for my doll, I would've seen something suspicious. This is all my fault.

Kitty Carry-all: I bet he wouldn't have tied me up if I was Barbie. This is all my fault.

Peter Brady: What a dumb-head I am. I guess Roy was not much of a hero after all. This is all my fault.

Alice: I must've not put enough mushrooms in his spaghetti sauce. This is all my fault.

Greg Brady: Marcia looks great in those ropes... Wait a minute, what am I saying? This is all my fault!

Jan Brady: It was wrong to make up George Glass. This is all my fault!

Marcia: This is all Jan's fault.

Marcia Brady: I'm so happy for you, Jan.

Jan Brady: Really, Marcia?

Marcia Brady: No.

[Jan looks disappointed]

Marcia Brady: Jan, of course I am!