James Van Der Beek Quotes in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Jay: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!

Jason Biggs: You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or "Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!

James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie!

James Van Der Beek: [about "Dawson's Creek"] You actually watch that show?

Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd base with her?

James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time...

[believing Jay and Silent Bob to be their stunt doubles]

Jason Biggs: You're doubling me, obviously. I play Bluntman, aka Silent Bill.

James Van Der Beek: Bob.

Jason Biggs: Right. And he's playing Chronic, aka Ray.

James Van Der Beek: Jay. Fuck, Biggs, did you even READ the script?

Jason Biggs: There's a script?

James Van Der Beek: Listen, Potzer!

Jason Biggs: There's a script for this movie?

James Van Der Beek: You wouldn't last A DAY on the Creek. A day.

Jason Biggs: Fuck you and your Dawson's Crap! Go to hell, Pacey! Go to hell!

James Van Der Beek: At least call me by the right fucking character.

[James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs are being arrested by mistake]

James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?

Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie fucker.

Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.

Jason Biggs: No. I, I love gay people.

James Van Der Beek: Yeah, I'll bet you do.

Jason Biggs: No, I'm fine with gay...

[Jason Biggs notices the orangutan]

Jason Biggs: Oh, look at the monkey.

James Van Der Beek: Now you're gonna tell me the monkey's gay.

Jason Biggs: Well, how do you know he doesn't smoke monkey pole?