James Quotes in Inception (2010)

Cobb: [over the phone] How are you, huh? How are you doing?

James: Okay, I guess.

Cobb: Who's just okay? Is that you, James?

James: Yeah. Is Mommy with you?

Cobb: James, we talked about this. Mommy's not here anymore.

James: Where?

Dalia: Zohan! He has a bomb... and puppies!

Zohan: No!

James: Imma blow up this whole block, Imma blow you up, Imma blow up these puppies! And we all gone' go to hell together, cause I hate these puppies!

James: You want us to get some mud people out'ch-your buildin' so you can build some kind-a roller coaster mall. Sir I just wanna thank you for this opportunity. I mean it's a gift to mess with the Jews and terrorists on the same night. I mean it's like, uh, it's like uh, uh, it's like Christmas in July. Right now we are scheduled to sabotage a black people's parade in Chicago, uh but we could move that.

James: You know, invincibility lies in defense.

Isaiah Bone: Possibility of victory, in the attack.

James: Genghis Khan once said, the greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemy, and chase them before you. To rob them of their wealth, and to have those dear to them bathed in tears.

Isaiah Bone: I... am the punishment of God. And if you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you... Genghis

James: Profanity is a brutal vice. He who uses it, is not a gentleman.

James: I imagine several hundred years ago, a group of very powerful men, not unlike yourself, were out conquering the known world. So they get to Africa, feeling pretty good about themselves, definitely feeling superior to the savages they see running in the jungle. That is, until one of the brothers drops his loincloth. And then these powerful men, all of a sudden, come face to face, so to speak, with one of life's great inequities.

James: Hey baby, come meet my man Bone. He just whooped the Hammerman.

Angela: [sauntering up] Words can't describe how little I give a damn.

Franklin McVeigh: Good to see you James. You should visit more often. I hear you have become quite the "golfer".

James: Yes, but unfortunately I just "lost my golfing partner".

Franklin McVeigh: You my friend must learn the fine art of subtlety. So what do I owe this pleasure of this visit?

James: [opens a suitcase with money in it] Five million dollars.

Franklin McVeigh: What's this for?

James: I want to fight. With your "Pretty-Boy".

Franklin McVeigh: Ahh... so we are looking to sit at the grown-ups table are we?

James: I have a fighter. This guy is the real deal.

Franklin McVeigh: You are not talking about "Hammerman" are you? He is not even in Price's league!

James: No it's a new guy. The best I have ever seen. And I have seen Price.

Franklin McVeigh: It's not as simple as that James. The Consortium is owned by a private organization. All newcomers have to be agreed upon by committee.

James: Come on, Frank. After all I have done for you, you could not do me this one little favor?

Franklin McVeigh: You're asking me to "vouch" for you. The funny thing about vouching for someone James is that when that someone shows himself to be less than what was promised,every decision you take from that point on, is 2nd guessed, and that, in my line of work, is suicide. And besides what does a cool, mellow fellow like yourself want to 'hang out' with a bunch of stuffy old white guys?

James: Same reason you want to hang out with those stuffy old white guys: Power!... connections. But let's keep it 'real', I'm just a cool, mellow fellow, just shufflin' and jivin', Crip walkin', basketball playing, singin', dancin', taking out your "garbage". That's what I am to you...

Franklin McVeigh: You're... right. You... are... African... American. And myself and my friends, for the most part, don't care... for the company... of... African... Americans. Quite frankly... we are entertained by you. We are thrilled by your high-flying acrobatics on the basketball court. That wonderful sense of rhythm you have. Your animal athleticism. But apart from that... we have no use for you. Understand? Let's face it James, do you set a place at your dinner table for your pit bull dogs? Is this "keepin' it real" enough for you? Am I clear?

James: Clear as water...

James: You're lookin' kinda hard there, ain't ya?

Isaiah Bone: Hard not to.

James: You think about. But you should know, I don't like people that say no to me.

Isaiah Bone: Maybe you should get used to it.

James: I always admired fighters and the fight game. A warrior's life is the life for me. There's honor, virtue. A warrior's life must be pure of body and spirit. That is why I don't smoke, I don't drink, or I don't use profanity. You see, I'm not like the rest of those thugs you see out there smoking blunts and playing video games. And neither are you, Bone.

[last lines]

James: I believe that man that we found on the side of the road that day, he weren't no man at all. He was an angel, sent here to test us.

Sid: No running, James! Camp rules!

James: Make me, sloth!

Sid: Make me, "sir"! It's all about respect.

Louis: Aww, lookie here. Looks like somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy!

[looks up to a poster of Jack Berger on a street sign]

Louis: And he sure looks a helluva lot like that dude!

Carl: We're screwed!

James: What do you mean, we? You're the one who pulled the trigger, pal!

Louis: What the hell is goin' on?

James: Uh, Louis, Carl seems to know this guy!

Carl: I don't know him at all!

James: What I'm trying to say is, uh, uh, uh, he shot him!

Carl: With a pellet gun!

James: But he thought he hit him in the butt!

Carl: I did him in the butt! Look Louis, I know that I did not kill this man. Last night, this guy was beatin' on his ol' lady. So I took it upon myself to end the dispute.

Louis: So you shot him?

Carl: With a pellet gun!

Louis: So you said.

[Louis stands the body of Berger up out of the barrel]

Louis: Now you said you hit him from your apartment across the way.

Carl: Yeah.

Louis: So how the hell did he end up here?

Carl: Wha, why don't you *ask* him?

James: This is wrong! We should just have gone to the cops and told them what happened!

Carl: Hey listen! You are just as guilty! You were there, that makes you an accomplice!

James: Screw you!

Carl: You are an asshole!

James: And you are a trigger-happy idiot!

Carl: Well, I'm not going to rot in jail alone!

James: Well you're not gonna screw up my life, you son of a bitch!

[James slugs Carl, and both begin to roll on the ground fighting]

Louis: Hey!

[Carl rushes over to break up the fight, dropping Berger's body]

James: You and your stupid pellet gun! Ohhh, waaaaahhh!

Carl: Golf clap?

James: Golf clap.

James: What are you doing?

Carl: I hate shitheads who bully their women.

James: So what are you going to do?

Carl: Shoot him.

James: What?

Carl: It's the principle, James.

James: With a pellet gun? What are you going to accomplish using that stupid thing?

Carl: It allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without actually changing the course of history. It also stings like a bitch.

James: What an absolutely gorgeous day. Warm Sun, beautiful women...

Carl: And the air is just right for drinking!

James: [offering a slice of pizza to the pizza delivery man] Are you hungry? Would you like some?

Louis: [having a Vietnam flashback] Don't give him any, James.

James: Why not? He might be hungry.

Louis: He's a prisoner; he should be treated accordingly.

James: Have you completely lost your mind? We're not soldiers and he's not the enemy. He's a pizza man.

Louis: Back in Fubai, he would have been killed the second he knocked on that door. I would have snapped his neck like a twig. And he never would have seen it coming, either.

James: Louis, Louis, calm down!

Louis: [pointing the pellet gun at the pizza delivery man] The commie bastard gets no food!

James: This is the last year we throw trash.

Carl: You said that last year.

James: Yeah, but this year I mean it.

Carl: You meant it last year.

James: Hey Carl!

Carl: What?

James: I think I have a problem over here!

Carl: Hold on, let me think of something.

Carl: Hey James! I didn't think of anything yet.

Louis: Faster James! We're losing them!

James: I got it to the floor, Lewis!

Mike: [James gets pulled over. The cop gets out of his car, turns on his flashlight and walks towards the driver's side of the truck] Well, well! Lookie what we got!

[looks to Jeff standing at the back of the truck]

James: I am in no mood for this Mike! Just go ahead snd write the damn ticket so we can all move on with our lives!

Mike: Well, that might be such an easy thing to do there, Jimbo. See, you were doing 75 in a 35. And you ran a red light. That's wreckless driving as far as I'm concerned!

[shines the flashlight in the cab]

Mike: Who else you got with ya there, Jimbo?

[sees the gagged pizza man]

Mike: What the hell is going on here?

James: Heh, heh, heh... you're, you're never gonna believe this Mike! Heh, heh heh... I'm totally flattered, I can't even come up with a good lie!

Mike: Heh heh heh! What'd I tell you, James? I knew you were crooked! And I knew I'd catch up to you sooner or later!

[draws his gun]

Mike: All right, everyone of the vehicle right now!

Carl: Seen my gloves, compadre?

James: In the glove compartemente.

[Carl and James playing Trivial Pursuit]

Carl: What does a phrenologist feel and interpret?

James: The size of Walt's asshole. A phrenologist feels and interprets the bumps on your head. Skull features.

James: Who was Richard Nixon's chief of staff during the final days of Watergate?

Carl: Oprah Winfrey.

[Carl prepares to go across the street to spy on Susan]

Louis: Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Carl: C'mon, guys. I'm not gonna get in over my head.

James: Yeah, well that depends on which head you're talking about.

James: I wanna report a murder and a kidnapping.

Dispatcher: Did they take the body?

James: No, no, no. I have the body.

Dispatcher: Did you kill the victim?

James: No, I didn't kill him.

Dispatcher: Have you been kidnapped?

James: I'm not the one who's been kidnapped. I know this sounds really strange...

Dispatcher: I don't think we can help you, sir.

James: Well, fuck me! Isn't that what the police are supposed to do - help people?

James: Carl spends the evening with a beautiful woman and I'm stuck here with a lunatic and a corpse.

James: Eh, Carl?

Carl: Yeah?

James: What did you mean when you said I was hopeless?

Carl: I meant exactly... what I said.

James: I still don't understand.

Carl: Well, let's examine the word: hope-less. Less than hopeful. That's what you are.

James: Am I majorly hopeless or partially hopeless?

Carl: I'd say, majorly. Why do you ask?

James: I'll try and change.

Carl: No, you won't.

Carl: You're a stupid little man, you're a stupid little man!

Louis: I said enough! I said cut it out!

[Carl seperates them, but James still wants to fight, so James tries to kick Carl]

Louis: Hey YO! I said knock it off! Now unless either one of you guys had a rope or a piece of wire and strangled this guy, I'd say you're both in the clear!

James: How the hell would you know?

Louis: [hauls up the body to a standing position] Look. See? You can see the marks whatever was used made around his neck. Pretty nasty job, too.

Pizza Man: [Louis is counting out the money to the pizza guy, who looks up and sees James wheeling Berger's body with a Nixon mask over his face to the bathroom. James spots the pizza guy looking, and moves faster] Uh, what's going on here?

Louis: Mind your business son.

Pizza Man: OK. Thank you sir!

Louis: You seen too much!

[Lewis grabs the pizza guy, pulling him into the apartment and starts spinning him around in a headlock]

Pizza Man: Ahhhhhhhh! Yaahhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

James: Louis! What the hell are you doing?

Louis: He saw you with the body! He can start all kinds of trouble!

James: So you kidnap him? Good solution!

Pizza Man: [flailing] Here, take the money! I won't say anything to anybody!

Louis: You bet you won't!

[Louis swings him around one more time and puts him headfirst into the sheetrock wall]

Pizza Man: Waaaaaahhhh!

[Pizza guy's head slams into and puts a hole in the wall]

James: [grabs his head] Louis, what the hell?

Pizza Man: [Louis pulls the pizza guy's head out of the wall, holding him up] Aiiiiii, extra cheese?

[Pizza guy falls over, unconscious, tweeting birds are heard]

James: You're a madman!

Louis: [grits his teeth] He was provoking me!

James: This situation has definitely gotten way out of hand!

Louis: Go back to the window and keep Carl covered!

James: What the hell are we gonna do with him?

Louis: [grits his teeth again and grins] We gonna need some rope!

Carl, James: [Carl and James have just dumped their last load at the city dump]

James: Come on, let's do the nasty.

Carl: Do we have to?

James: Yeah.

Carl, James: [Carl and James are in the back of the garbage truck with surgical masks which cover their noses and mouths. Using push brooms, the clean the truck of remaining liquids and trash]

Carl: Nasty!

James: Nasty!

Carl: Nasty!

James: Nasty!

Carl: Nasstttyyyy!

James: Ugh, So Naaaaassstttyyy!

James: [Carl tiptoes across the parking lot to spy on Susan. James watches him from their apartment with binoculars] What is he doing?

Carl: [mid-step, stops and looks up] What am I doing?

James: [James, Berger's body, Pizza Man and Louis sit in James's truck watching Potterdam's men dumping the toxic waste barrels. He pulls back the recoiler on the rifle and empties out one pellet] Well, a lotta good this will do us.

Pizza Man: A pellet gun? You've been holding me hostage all night with an *air rifle*?

James: Shut up.

Pizza Man: This is too much.

James: Who's *that* Pokémon?

Misty: [after Pikachu defeats three Pokemon with a lightning attack] Well, that sure was a shocking ending.

Brock: Shocking that Ash moved so fast!

James: [Team Rocket are watching the gang from a clifftop, with binoculars] There's another credit on Pikachu's 'charge account!'

Jesse: We've got to grab it!

Meowth: I know we gotta grab some rare Pokémon for the Boss... but it wouldn't be such a bad idea if we grabbed a litte bite to eat.

Jesse: We didn't come here to steal a meal!

James: I'd settle for a taste of that Pika-chow.

Meowth: I'm starving.

Jesse: I can cook something!

Meowth: Thanks, but the last time you cooked, you wiped out eight of my nine lives.

Ash Ketchum: The world's greatest Pokémon master is waiting for me. Let's use our Pokémon to get to that island.

Misty: Ash, our Pokémon aren't strong enough. They can't handle giant waves like this.

Ash Ketchum: [upset] Guess you're right...

Jesse: [Team Rocket arrive in a boat, dressed as Vikings] You vant to cross maybe? Ve take you, ya? Ve Vikings are used to big vaves. Ve get you to New lsland faster than you can say fahrvergnügen.

Jesse: [cuts to them rowing] Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Oh, I think I'm gonna have one!

Brock: I didn't know Vikings still existed.

Ash Ketchum: They mostly live in Minnesota.

Misty: Something's not right. Are you sure this boat's safe?

Jesse: Don't vorry. This ship von't let you down. Ve alvays sail in da rough veather. Don't get upset.

Meowth: Tell my stomach.

Jesse: Heave!

James: Ho!

Jesse: Heave!

James: Ho!

Jesse: Heave!

James: Ho!

Misty: lt's all right, Togepi. We're going to be okay.

[a huge tidal wave crashes into the boat, taking Team Rocket's Viking costumes off in the process]

Ash Ketchum: Those aren't Vikings!

Misty: It's Team Rocket!

Brock: I should have known there was something fishy about them besides the way they smell!

Jesse: Haha! Prepare for trouble!

James: Make it double!

Meowth: Forget the motto. We're going to have to... aaah!

[another tidal wave sweeps over, knocking everyone out of the boat]

Pluto Nash: What happened?

James: Obviously, you did something stupid.

Jesse: Listen to me kid, when you get involved with the opposite sex you're only asking for trouble!

James: Yes, and that's the kind of trouble I stay out of.

Meowth: Yous two don't need the opposite sex cause' yous got each other!

Jesse: What's that supposed to mean?

James: Not funny!

Jesse: [Jesse, James and Meowth are hanging on to a flying Lugia] We're slowing Lugia down, we're too heavy!

James: Let's try Weight Watchers!

Jesse: It's too late for that!

Meowth: I heard it's never too late if you really stick to the program!

James: We actually did some good this time!

Meowth: What if the Boss finds out?

James: That's bad.

Jesse: We'll just make our own team then!

James: That's good!

Meowth: But we ain't got no money.

James: That's bad.

Jesse: Then we'll just steal some!

James: That's good! Or is that bad?

Jesse: Prepare for more trouble than you've ever seen!

James: Make it double; we're on the big screen!

Ash: I'm going to have to catch this on video!

Jesse: Let's not say goodbye.

James: Let's just say...

Meowth: We're gonna die!

Tommy Lee: I don't fight drunks.

James: Drunk? This is nothing. Right here.

[Taps chin]

James: Give me your best shot. I'll rip your fuckin' ears right off your god damn head. Then I'll stick 'em right where the sun don't shine, so you can hear me kick your butt!

Grandma: Are you gonna help Tommy?

James: Sure. I'll help him. Be my pleasure to help the boy.

James: [hands her a dollar] Here. Give him that for a bowl of soup.

Grandma: I know what happened to you, and what you think it cost you. But the son who left me many moons ago in search of his manhood came back to me a drunken, self pitying, overgrown child. You are a terrible example for our people and a disgrace to your mother. You have an opportunity now to do some good.

[begins walking away, then turns to him]

Grandma: Help Tommy or pack your bags.

James: I haven't seen this many strange letters since the last time I placed a personal ad.

[Team Rocket comes across the Unown]

James: I haven't seen this many strange letters since the last time I placed a personal ad

James: Do you think will have a bigger role in the next movie?

James: [on a beam miles from the ground] How long do you think it will take to go down?

Meowth: About 3 seconds if we jump

[after Lucario saves the tree]

James: Looks like everything's back to normal.

Jessie: Which means we're back to being losers.

James: Meowth? Never to be seen again?

Jessie: We're the ones who are supposed to be doing all of the stealing.

James: Did you miss the "never to be seen" part?

James: We're always travelling. We should look for somewhere to call home.

Red Bean Pudding: Brother James, don't say things like that.

[quotes a famous chinese saying]

Red Bean Pudding: There are very old mountains and rivers, heroes don't seek a place to rest, people won't always be dancing on stage, and trends will be blown away by the wind and rain.

Meowth: There they go. All we gotta do is follow them on top of them rooftops.

James: Well, I used to be quite a good gymnast!

Jessie: This is our big chance, I could almost TASTE it! Are you ready ?

James: YEAH!

Meowth: I said I had nothin' to do with it!

James: MAMA!

Jessie: It was their idea!

James: This is the best job ever!

Jessie: We just have to throw around paper.

Meowth: And clean manure, whatever that means...

Jessie: How bad could it be? HUH?

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: Both sides of those rocks.

Ruggieri: Why we got to paint both sides of the rocks?

James: I don't know.

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: You boys ever heard of Korea?

James: Yes sir, Gunny.

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: Well then you are probably very familar with the conflict at Hill 442. Is that right?

Ruggieri: Yes sir. Everyone has heard of that battle.

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: And did you know your Colonel is personally responsible for pulling 52 marines off that hill? Alive.

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: So don't you think the Colonel deserves to have his rocks painted tops and bottoms?

Gunnery Sgt. Burns: Good; paint the rocks.

Meowth: Hey guys, the old treasure meter's going off the charts!

James: It won't be long now. We'll clean up in more ways than one.

Jessie: That old, crusty crab thinks he's so smart, when we're the ones poised to pocket those diamonds and pearls.

Meowth: Hey, that sounds like a good name for a game!

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

[Jessie, James, and Meowth jump to silence Wobbuffet, then snicker]

[Tiana looks out her bedroom window]

Young Tiana: Charlotte's fairy tale book said, if you make a wish on evening star it's sure to come true.

Eudora: Hmm, won't you wish on that star, sweetheart?

James: Yes, you wish and you dream with all your little heart. But you remember, Tiana, that old star can only take you part of the way. You got to help him with some hard work of your own. And then... Yeah, you can do anything you set you mind to. Just promise your Daddy one thing? That you'll never, ever lose sight of what is really important. Okay?

[Tiana nods yes]

James: You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life. It warms them right up and it puts little smiles on their faces. And when I open up my own restaurant, I tell you, people are gonna line up for miles around, just to get a taste of my food.

Young Tiana: *Our* food!

James: [chuckles] That's right, baby. Our food.

[James has discovered he has changed]

James: It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.

Glowworm: Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?

Grasshopper: No, dear lady.

[He takes out a megaphone and speaks through it]

Grasshopper: Marvelous things will happen.

[to James]

Grasshopper: Poor Glowworm, she's a little deaf.

Earthworm: I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing.

Centipede: Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this...

[He spits into his many hands and grabs the megaphone and yells into it]

Centipede: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

James: What are they?

Old Man: Crocodile tongues.

James: Tongues?

Old Man: Long, slimy crocodile tongues boiled in the skull of a dead witch for 40 days and 40 nights. And, the gizard of a pig, the fingers of a young monkey, the beak of a parrot and three spoonfuls of sugar, and then, let the moon do the rest.

[Spiker and Sponge are outside the peach, looking for James]

Aunt Spiker: Where are you? You detestable little worm!

Earthworm: AAAHHHHHH!

James: Not you, ME!

James: When I had a problem, my mom and dad would tell me to look at it another way.

Earthworm: How? First, I was bird bait, then I was shark bait.

James: I suppose, but you could say you gave us wings to fly, and defeated a giant shark single-handedly.

Earthworm: No-handedly.

James: You're a hero.

Earthworm: I am? I'm Wonder Worm!

James: You are!

[everyone is discussing how to get the peach to New York]

James: We could... No, it's stupid.

Grasshopper: Compared to what?

James: Well, I suppose we could fly out.

Centipede: He's right. It's stupid.

James: Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where the Empire State Building is?

Hard Hat Man: You're on top of it, kid.

James: You're not even a real rhino! You're just a lot of smoke and noise! I'm not afraid of you!

James: We'll always be together, right?

Centipede: Kid, you're stuck with us, for life.

James: I can't remember what fun is for.

Aunt Sponge: We sent you out here to kill a spider!

Aunt Spiker: Not to laze about.

James: I wasn't lazing about, I tripped.

Aunt Sponge: How dare you disagree with us?

James: Our daughter is scarred for life. She'll either grow up to be oddly attracted to Popeye, or a lesbian.

Toby: [the engines discuss about how to stop Diesel 10] What's important is to stand up on our own wheels to Diesel.

Henry: Toby's right. Diesel knows that the lost engine in the legend really exists.

James: What Engine?

Percy: What Legend?

Henry: Of an engine whose magic makes her more powerful than Diesel will ever be, that's why he wants to find her.

Percy: Then we'd better find her first.

James: [comes out of the shed] Leave it to the big engines, Percy.

Thomas: Little Engines can do big things, especially when they have nice blue paint like me.

[Bertie the bus roars past the steam engines who are having a meeting a siding. The only engine not present is Percy]

Bertie: Smile you steamers. It's a sunny day. Broom broom!

James: It's not sunny because Mr C's not at the windmill. I've looked.

Thomas: I think his sparkle's all gone.

Henry: My smokebox doesn't feel sunny. It feels stuffed up.

Gordon: Nasty fumes form dingy diesel. Hmm!

Henry: And diesel is after the lost engine.

Toby: And if he finds her, I fear that will destroy us all.

Gordon: What even an engine as big as me!

Toby: Yes Gordon, even you.

Thomas: Ahh... Choo!

[shakes as he sneezes]

James: Say it don't spay it, Thomas.

Thomas: I've still got sneezing powder up my funnel. Now I'm going to find Mr Conductor.

[puffs away]

Toby: And let us get back to work. That's what he would want.

[referring to Mr Conductor]

Bertie: How bout a race Thomas? Broom Broom!

Thomas: Sorry Bertie. I can't today. I have to be a really useful engine and solve some mysteries instead.

Bertie: I guess that means I win. Perhaps another day. Broom broom broom!

[talking about Hatty]

James: Why do you hate her so much?

Aunt Melbourne: I hate her because it's so easy for the rest of you to love her.

James: Now it's all about photo placement. So if you're in a group of three always, always, always make sure that you're the one standing on the right because that way when they print the picture you'll be the one on the left. The caption will read "James St. James and bla bla bla" were seen, okay?

[Michael is taking notes]

James: Okay. Rules of press. Number one, no publicity is bad publicity. Number two, once something is printed it automatically becomes true. So number three, never ever dish anyone in print. Never be seen drinking anything other than champagne and never take heroin. Never wear white after Labor Day and avoid that one like the plague!

[points to photo of Peter Gatien]

Michael Alig: More, more!

James: Okay, okay. The art of working a room. Upon making your grand entrance, take your partner by the hand and circle around the room. Smile and say "hello" to everyone in the room. Even if you don't know them. Especially if you don't know them!

[walks around donut shop]

James: Hi!

Michael Alig: Hello! Hi!

James: Hi! Oh I'm so glad you came.

Michael Alig: I know you!

James: Go once around the room in opposite directions. You go clockwise to my anti-clockwise. Tell all the people how you've lost your friend and how desperate you are to find them. Oh, where could my friend be? Now suddenly we bump into each other and scream with uncontained joy!

[bumps into Michael and screams]

James: Good! Now link arms and around we go once more telling all our new found friends how we've found each other. We found each other!

Michael Alig: We found each other! Don't worry, I've found him!

James: Then leave. The whole thing should take an hour, 90 minutes tops. Do that once a night for three months and you'll be the toast of the town.

Michael: We're like two peas in a pod, you and I, James.

James: I pity the pod.

[after James' phone conversion with Michael, who is in prison]

Interviewer: I can't believe you still talk to him.

James: Well, when was the last time you heard of a pea changing its pod?

Michael: Oh, no thanks... I don't do drugs.

James: Nor do I.

[snorts Special K]

James: Did you see that? It just flew right up my nose!

James: That's better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!

James: Michael, I hate when you make me say serious things, so I'm only going to say this once: You've gone too far with the drugs.

Michael Alig: Have you looked at yourself?

James: I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamour.

[to the Club Kids]

Dallas stage hand: Okay, you guys are on stage in five.

James: What do you mean, on stage?

Dallas stage hand: You know - your show.

James: Wait, what show?

[stage hand walks off]

James: But we don't do anything!

Michael: Hi, I'm Michael Alig.

James: Well, I'll alert the media. Gotta dash!

[phone conversation]

Michael Alig: It's not so bad and after Gitsie and I get married we can have conjugal visits!

James: Oh Michael, Im so sorry, didn't you hear? Gitsie's dead. She had an overdose.

[Michael is silent]

James: Oh darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up!

Michael Alig: James, would I lie to you

James: All the time!

James: That's all you really need to know. That and don't dream it, be it.

Michael Alig: Rocky Horror, it's my fave!

Michael Alig: I need some money

James: But Michael I'm broke... and I have a stomach ache.

The Rat: Remember me? Clara the Chicken... and Terisius the Rat!

James: [in exasperated voice] No!

The Rat: [pats James' head] You really should stay off the K

Michael Alig: Look James, this is going to be more than a club. It will be like a home, for everyone who ever felt like a freak, for everyone who was ever beat on or spat on in highschool, for everyone who felt different. It will be like the factory and i'll be the next Andy Warhol.

James: Ok. Earth to you : Andy Warhol is still alive and well.

Michael Alig: Oh James! I'm so glad I ran into you. Here, come to my party. The first annual King and Queen of Downtown Pageant.

James: I'd rather suck on a urinal cake.

Michael Alig: But James you have to come. You're my best friend.

James: How can we be best friends when I don't even like you?

Michael Alig: Have you met Keoki?

James: Well Aloha. How about a lei? I've always had a soft spot for Hawaiian Punch.

Michael Alig: [slaps James' hand] His name is Keoki and he's my new boyfriend. Tootles!

James: Tootles?

[reads party flyer]

James: Wait, it says here that I'm the emcee!

Keoki: What's that?

Michael Alig: It's a kitty! Aw, it's our lovechild. We'll call him Skrinkle.

James: [voice over] As you dry your eyes, let me just say this about that. Skrinkle was just the beginning. Skrinkle begat Skroddle and Skrinkle and Skroddle were the Lego blocks of a strange new world he was building for us all. You were either a Skrink or a Skrod. I was a Skrinklada if I was good or a stupid Skrod lover if I was bad. Somehow, his dopey language caught on like his stupid parties.

Michael Alig: [catches James and Keoki doing drugs] You pathetic, drug addict losers!

James: Michael, I am not addicted to drugs. I am addicted to glamour.

Michael Alig: You! James Clark, you should be ashamed of yourself!

James: How dare you use my real name. And Michael, your champagne. Oh correction, your sparkling wine tastes like piss!

Michael Alig: [to Peter] So where was I? Oh yeah, so we'll put James in a cage and hang a sign over it that says "do not feed the drug child." It will transform Limelight and New York nightlife forever and it will be more outrageous than anything before. New stars, no rules, anything goes. Everyone will want to come.

Peter Gatien: Michael, aren't you listening to anything I've said?

Michael Alig: Yes siree! But this will work.

[pees in James' champagne glass]

Michael Alig: I'd stake my life on it.

Peter Gatien: You're crazy.

Michael Alig: Ah, James! Keoki! Just in time to toast to Disco 2000.

Peter Gatien: To Disco 2000.

Elke: This is all your fault.

James: My fault?

Elke: All your fault. You feeding my child drugs.

James: No! Didn't you see?

[pauses]

James: Come on, I'll take you to Port Authority.

Elke: I came in a stretch limo. I'm not leaving on a bus.

James: [singing] Skriglada laskrog ladoodleda laskrig laskrog ladoodle skriglada skriddladoodle skrogla.

Michael Alig: I knew you'd come.

James: Banana? Peach?

Gitsie: Oh my God! You're alive!

Michael Alig: [laughing] It was so nice being dead. Oh my God. I just had a great idea. The emergency room. We'll all get dressed up like nurses and doctors and give out prescriptions for free drugs and Keoki will DJ and you can be a serial killer nurse with an enema!

James: Michael, I can't.

Gitsie: Can I be a mental patient?

Michael Alig: Of course you can. James, do you have a bump of K?

James: I'm really trying to get my act together and write, Michael.

Michael Alig: A bump of K isn't gonna kill me now, is it?

[laughing]

Michael Alig: Come on, let's get out of here!

James: Michael, you can't just leave. You're attached to things. Michael!

[Michael leave his ER room]

Michael Alig: Come on, James. The show must go on.

Michael Alig: You saved my life, you know? Thank you.

James: I'm afraid I'm going to have to hang up now!

Michael Alig: Why?

James: Because you're trying to turn this into an after school special. Because you wanna get the last word and you want this to end with everyone liking you and it's my movie! I can't let it end that way.

Michael Alig: You always kept our pact. This is where I need to be.

James: I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work! Goodbye Michael Alig.

James: And now I've been cut off without a penny. So, no more trust fund, and no more Gaultier, and no more fucking Comme des Garçons, Michael!

James: No, no, no, for the love of God, no. We are not going to start out with Michael Alig's pathetic childhood - "I was molested, wahhh!"

James: Well, congratulations on getting out of the very dangerous world of haberdashery!

Freez: Well, drugs are just a sideline.

[sniffs]

Freez: Profitable, though.

James: Hmm.

[holds up top of clenched hand]

James: May I sample your wares?

James: Today I've come up with the perfect sentence. The rhythm, the syntax, the dipthongs, the dissidence

[clears throat]

James: Last night, I dreamt of Glocca Morra... again.

[pause]

James: It's really a shame you can't publish a sentence. I'm convinced it would be a best-seller.

James: It's really a shame you cant publish a sentence. I'm convinced it would be a best seller.

James: Testing one, two. Testing. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the d'Urbervilles.

Male Geisha: Why doesn't Fran come into work anymore?

James: Because she's been indicted for tax evasion and cannot leave her house.

Male Geisha: Oh... I miss Fran. Her new house is neat and tidy.

James: [to Keoki] If you are going to be a superstar DJ, there are three simple rules you need to remember: Number One: You can always rely the Studio 54 compilation set. They're premixed! They last for hours. And Number Two: Madonna. Always works. And Number Three: When all else fails, play techno! It's nondescript, nonrecognizable, and everyone will think you're *so* cutting edge.

Michael Alig: I just want to be loved.

James: [laughs] There isn't enough love in the whole wide world to satisfy you.

Michael Alig: Wait, don't go! Do you want a cocktail? Here, I have drink tickets.

James: [laughing sarcastically] Drink tickets? You obviously couldn't even organize a glass of water!

James: Michael, I have to talk to you!

Michael Alig: Not now, James! We have to go before the police get here. Now get in! You, what's your name?

Angel: Um, I'm Angel.

Michael Alig: Well, where's your wings?

James: Michael.

Angel: What?

Michael Alig: Listen, could you help us get this door closed? I think you have to do it from the outside.

Angel: If I do that then I won't be able to come.

Michael Alig: If you do this now you'll be one of us and next time I'll make you VIP. Very, very important person. So come on now. Be an Angel.

James: Michael, you're out of your mind.

Michael Alig: Oh please, party in the truck!

James: Is it past the tutu?

James: [Reading from Maura's Diary] Dear Diary, today I tried a tampon. No thanks Tom Hanks.

James: A house is just a building, home is a feeling.

James: Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.

Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?

James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

James: Everybody's born knowing all the Beatles lyrics instinctively. They're passed into the fetus subconsciously along with all the amniotic stuff. Fact, they should be called "The Fetals".

[Helen tells James her boyfriend is cheating]

James: Well, if it makes you feel any better... do you see that bloke over there?

[Points to his friend at the end of the bar]

James: Not only does he own a personalized matching set of crocodile-skin luggage, but his favorite TV program is Baywatch. So you see there's always someone sadder than you.

[Helen starts to cry]

James: Do you love him?

Helen: No, I could never love a Baywatch fan.

James: What are you doing two weeks on Saturday?

Helen: Probably killing myself.

James: Excellent. What time does that finish? Do you like boats?

[last lines]

[Helen drops her earring in the lift. James picks it up and gives it to her]

Helen: [gloomily] Thank you.

James: Cheer up, you know what the Monty Pythons always say...

Helen: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition"

[Helen and James turn and stare at each other as the lift closes]

Helen: Look, James. Maybe I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry, I'm not being fair. You know, under normal circumstances, etcetera... You're really nice - and funny. My friend Anna thinks you're cute...

James: Wait. Wait! Your friend Anna thinks I'm cute? Your friend ANNA thinks I'm cute? Shit, I just blew - wait

[looks at menu]

James: two eighty-five on the wrong girl!

James: Haircut suits you, by the way.

[Helen demurs]

James: No, it does, it does! No gag. 'Never make a joke about a woman's hair, clothes or menstrual cycles' - page one.

Helen: I kissed you.

James: Yeah, I spotted that too.

Helen: I-I'm not - I'm not very good at - at, you know...

James: Constructing sentences?

James: Hands up if you drank too much, eh?

Helen: Hey, I'm not as drunk as thinkle peep I am.

Anna: Put a wick in her mouth and she'd burn for a fortnight.

James: Everything happens for the best. You'll never know if you don't try.

Helen: So who are you on the rebound from?

James: A girl called Pamela. My whole life pivots around Pam and I breaking up.

Helen: When was that?

James: 1973, we were eight. I bloody loved that woman! No warning just up, gone, left me for someone else.

Helen: Who?

James: Gary Glitter! Gary Glitter for cryin' out loud! I mean all my friends were being left for Donny Osmond or David Cassidy, I could have come to terms with that given time, but Gary oooooh she wanted to touch him there yeeaah...

[to Helen who is drinking a milk shake]

James: Come on! If you don't drink your fatty drinks, you'll never really achieve quality cellulite.

James: You better watch you don't fall overboard.

Jane: Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.

Chanel: Is that a purse?

James: It's a man bag!

Ida: A man bag?

James: Yeah, it's like the hottest new accessory.

Ida: You got some man lipstick in that bag?

James: [Ida's dancing] Don't shake that baby loose.

Gina Norris: Yeah, we'll get hit with indecency charges up in here.

James: You can't be doing anything gay. No ice-cream cones.

Simon: I like ice cream.

James: Of course. It's delicious. Ice cream is fine in a cup, but in a cone is gay unless you're with a woman at the time.

Simon: Anything else?

James: No riding on a motorcycle with another man. Exceptions are drive-by shootings, bomb throwings and purse snatchings. Anything else is gay.

Simon: You seem to know a lot about this.

James: Defense wins championships.

James: I would tear the asshole off an elephant for a piece of trim I wanted that bad.

James: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Mikey: Yeah. Lunch!

James: Whoa! You really got your figure back, didn't you?

Mollie: This is not my figure!

James: Well then, you got Dolly Parton's figure back!

James: You don't look so hot.

Mollie: Why don't you try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look?

James: Ouch! Guess I'd better call my mother more often!

Secretary: Is he yours?

James: Yeah, but they don't know who the real mother is yet.

[Mikey says Daddy]

James: He- he said Daddy!

Mollie: I think he called you Daddy.

Mikey: [sarcastically] No, I'm talking to hear myself say it!

Mollie: This has nothing to do with you! YOU are not his father!

James: Well I'm the closest thing that he's got to it.

Mollie: Oh please, look at you. You're like a big kid. Oh what, you really think you're responsible enough to be a father?

James: Responsible? You call getting pregnant by a married guy "responsible?" Oh that's good.

Mollie: Stop it!

James: You stop!

Mollie: YOU stop it!

James: No, you stop! I've seen you. I've seen you use Mikey to push guys away and now you're doing it to me! Now that's it, I've had it! NOW GET OUT!

Mollie: I live here!

James: I know it!

[pauses then leaves]

James: Mind if I borrow some of this?

[takes Mikey's bottle and pours the milk into his coffee cup]

James: Thank a lot, man.

[drinks coffee]

Mollie: Hey, you know, that's breast milk.

James: [spits out coffee] Really, now?

[turns to Mikey]

James: Why didn't you tell me?

Mikey: Hey, man, you're on your own.

Mollie: Hey, slow down! The first stages of labor can take hours!

James: Yeah, so can the mid-town traffic!

Mollie: Dr. Spock does not just want to sell a book! Dr. Spock loves us. During the Vietnam War, Dr. Spock was out protesting in the streets!

James: God, I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock, okay.

[to Mikey]

James: I can't believe she's getting that upset about a Vulcan. Big ears, no emotions, right?

James: I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy.

James: It's weird, isn't it? You spend the first nine months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.

James: Look, you gotta use Lamaze. It works. My sister-in-law used it. You don't use drugs, and it's better for the kid.

Mollie: You know, the only people who say stupid things like that are men, because they're idiots!

[Molly learns to fly]

Mollie: Oh, what a good sensation!

James: It's like great sex, isn't it?

Mollie: I personally wouldn't remember.

James: Oh, baby, I have myself a hot date tonight.

Mollie: You better call your hot date, because I don't know how late I'm going to be.

James: [snorts] Oh, yeah, right. You're going out with an accountant, right?

Mollie: Yes.

James: Nine-thirty, tops.

Mollie: Don't count on it.

James: Hey, Gerber Face, high five!

James: She called me a big kid. Yeah. She's probably right, too. I mean, you're one year old and probably my best friend in the world.

Mollie: [comes home to see a mess] What happened?

James: Who's Albert?

Mollie: Why, was he here?

James: Is he Mikey's father?

Mollie: What?

James: You lied to me about the artificial insemination crap, didn't you?

Mollie: He was married. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone.

James: Do you love him? Do you?

Mollie: [James turns Mollie around] What?

James: Do you love him?

Mollie: I don't know. I don't know who I love. And you know something? It doesn't make any difference because all that matters to me is who's best for Mikey. And Albert is successful, responsible, and he's real good to his other kids.

James: [firmly] I don't want him seeing Mikey anymore.

Mollie: Oh no, now don't start pulling this on me! He's his son and he has a right to see him anytime he wants to!

James: Where the hell has he been all year?

Mollie: I was artificially inseminated.

James: Are you a lesbo?

James: Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal?

Albert: I don't know.

James: Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things?

Albert: Okay how much is she paying you? 5 dollars an hour?

[Gives James a 20]

Albert: Here go play some video games.

James: Don't give me that shit.

[They start fighting]

Mollie: Where are the parachutes?

James: Parachutes? There are no parachutes.

Mollie: No parachutes? Didn't you ever see 'Sweet Dreams'? 'The Buddy Holly Story'? 'La Bamba'?

James: There's a big difference. They're, like, rock legends, and we're not.

James: [returning her purse] You never look through that thing, do you?

Mollie: Why do you say that?

James: 'Cause you're still carrying around your diaphragm.

Mollie: Screwing with the mail is a federal offense.

James: Stealing mail's a federal offense, not screwing with it.

James: I teach.

Mollie: What do you teach? Taxi Driver's Ed?

Mollie: Don't smoke that around my baby! Don't you know there's a sixty-two percent higher rate of getting cancer for non-smokers who live with smokers?

James: What are you trying to say? You don't want me to move in yet, or what?

Mollie: I don't know who I love. And you know something, it doesn't make any difference, because the only thing that matters to me is who's best for Mikey. And Albert is successful, he's responsible, and he's real good to his *other* kids.

James: I've seen you. I've seen you use Mikey to push other guys away, and now you're doing it to me! That's it! I've had it! Now get out!

Mollie: I live here!

James: I know it!

[pauses, then slams out the door]

Mollie: You get everything for free. Free long distance phone calls, free lunches. I think you're sort of a scam artist.

James: I know. I got the town wired, don't I? Baby, think about it. If we were poor, we could still live like kings.

James: I see you staring at that. You must be thinking the same way i am.

Mikey: Lunch.

Irving Zisman: [after putting his dead wife in his trunk] Can we say a prayer? Lord, please look after Billy and I on our journey with Ellie. And Lord, please look after these men because they were very sweet... and also accomplices to probably what was... technically a crime, but... we're not gonna say anything...

James: [walks away] Come on, man! Are you serious?

Irving Zisman: [continues with his prayer] In your name we pray. Amen.

[looking up at painting on a wall]

James: Now, look at the picture! Look at the picture! Who does this picture remind you of?

James, Ali: Laquisha Jenkins!

Ali: UGGH... THAT'S NASTY!

James: See you deserve this kinda stuff...

[hanging head to "cry"]

James: but I just can't give it to you... You deserve nice stuff... You deserve a big ol' house... and you - you deserve your own back yard... and - and everyone else got a - a little white dog, why you can have one? I wanna take you out to dinner... everytime we go out, we gotta watch - other people eat... HELL I wanna eat too! And - and you need some clothes... W-w-why should you have to wear your Sunday clothes on Wednesday? Now look girl... don't think a dude a punk cause he crying like a little girl - but you're my queen... and I Lah-Love you!

Mickey: Oh James you ain't never said nothin' like this... Don't said it if you don't mean it!

[knocks James into a fountain]

James: I MEAN IIIIIIIIIIIIT!

James: What am I supposed to make of you? Every time I see you...

[shrugs his shoulders]

James: I don't know what it is I've done or not done in my life to make you so disappointed. I mean, I've achieved so many things, so many good things, but you're always disappointed. Why can't you be proud?

Arthur Harris: I am proud, son.

James: Well, you never thought once to tell me.

Arthur Harris: Well, I tell everybody.

James: Why don't you tell me?

Arthur Harris: I'm trying now.

James: Somebody need to give that brother a shot of cognac or something cause for the past four yearsat he BET classic, Morris Brown been spankin that ass, spankin that ass.

[Daphne and Rocks are starting at each other]

Julie Ubriacco: Look! They like each other!

James: [to Mollie] See honey, they like each other.

Daphne: Mongrel.

Rocks: Bitch.

Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday!

James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.

James: Look, they're gonna know my wife put me in this suit. It's the color of poo.

Mollie: James.

James: What?

Mollie: Don't tell jokes.

James: I'm funny!

Mollie: You *are* funny, honey, in sort of a...

James: Corny.

Mollie: Corny, kind of funny.

Mollie: Most little girls are obsessed with ponies and mermaids, not big sweaty men making jump shots. Should we be worried? Mike!

James: Well, it's the Suns, honey. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried.

James: Mike, what do you think of this suit?

Mikey Ubriacco: You look like my principal.

James: See? Even he thinks it's stupid.

Mollie: *He* is not offering you a dental plan.

James: Honey, this isn't me. I wanna be myself.

Mollie: Okay, you're not gonna get this job if you're yourself.

Mikey Ubriacco: [after he and James have brought Rocks home and have seen Daphne for the first time] I like Rocks better...

James: [putting his hand over Mikey's mouth] A dog! A dog! Finally a dog! We'll playw ith your Rocks later.

Mikey Ubriacco: [muffled] Okay, no problem

Mollie: As I was just telling Samantha, there's no way we'd take her precious baby away.

[as Samantha leaves room, she grabs James and gives him a suspicious look]

James: [citing the 'dog school' Daphne attended] Radcliffe, honey, Radcliffe!

[walks away]

[Rocks and Daphne are staring at each other]

Julie Ubriacco: Look, they like each other.

Daphne: Mongrel.

Rocks: Bitch.

James: [to Mollie] See, honey. They like each other.

Dean Solomon: So... you're a janitor?

James: That's right. I'm a black man so I must be a janitor. Motherfucking racist-ass stereotyper.

Dean Solomon: It's just, you're... wearing a janitor's outfit.

James: Oh. So a black man can't just go in a thrift shop and buy a janitor's outfit 'cause he find it comfortable on his nuts.

Dean Solomon: No, he can. Especially a black man.

John Solomon: What do you do?

James: I'm a janitor.

John Solomon: Hope your baby doesn't die!

Dean Solomon: Guard your baby with your life!

James: Don't fuck up.

James: It didn't start out this way. We used to... talk, like really talk, all the time about things that mattered to us. I was understanding and she was understanding and it was... it was fucking great. And I know we can get there again, I just never been in a relationship like that before. It just felt so good, you know? Just after a while, all this... all the shit gets built up and it just gets in the way. We... we can't get through it. It's like this big wall of shit. And, you know, we... we try to be straight up with each other, or... or easy going, but every little thing we do just gets caught.

Sarah: In the shit.

James: Yeah. We're caught in shit.

Sarah: Well, if you figure out how to get rid of it, let me know.

[Would he still love her... ]

Heather: What if there was a pencil permanently sticking out of my eye?

James: Yeah, sure.

Heather: And when you got close to me, it sprayed eyeball juice all over you.

James: Well, could you learn to, like, aim it and use it as a weapon on our enemies? 'Cause if you'd do that, I would be interested.

Heather: Yeah, I could do that.

James: Anyone whose high school nickname is Six Pack deserves a little shit.

James: I'm really not a murderer. D-do you wanna frisk me?

Sarah: Did you cheat on her?

James: No. No. Not this time. Look, you know, that sounded so much worse than it actually is, I swear.

Charlie: Um, how'd it feel? I mean, do you think I did a good job?

James: Beating me up?

Charlie: Well, RESTRAINING you.

James: Yeah, you, uh... you did a good job. It was real efficient.

Hezekiah: Why, son? Why?

James: I was just about to ask you the same thing! Except for the "son" part!

James: [talking about charity causes] There's also the conjoined twins, which are like, those are Siamese twins, and I remember when I was a kid, I thought that it would be really awesome to have a conjoined twin because you'd always have a playmate, someone to hang out with, no matter what you'd never be lonely, but the reality is much more grim than that. It gets old very quickly, and it's hard to maneuver through like, a restaurant or whatever.

James: I really can't think of much else but Jesus Christ. He gave himself, and that's what I do with my art. The only difference is, is that Jesus is a totally made up guy, and I'm completely real.

James: [in a meeting with Larry] I have some of my artistic renderings over here. Here we go. This is what one of the lollipop covers would look like. The name of this particular piece is "You matter" - that's a phrase you heard back there. And, to you or I, this would maybe, well, that's a very interesting picture, there's something about it that's sort of touching, but to a homeless person, he looks at this, and now I don't want to get too intellectual on you, but this is like looking at a mirror of his inner psyche. A bum looks at this and says, "Oh, wow, this is what I look like. I look like this guy that's got flies all around my head, I got smells coming out of me, I got googly eyes going in different directions! And, oh, I must be a big huge piece of crud!" No, sir, you're not, because "you matter" and then they go, "Whuuuh?"

[Larry smiles]

James: [in a meeting with Larry] So I also have this piece, this is my anti-drug piece, it's called "High on Joy." A crack addict will look at this and say, "What am I doing wasting my life smoking all this crack when I could be high on joy?" Over here we have a mascot that I've created. His name is Felix, he's created to tune into the Latino community. He's Latino - you can tell he is because he's wearing a sombrero and a poncho, as Latinos do. You may or may not know, but about 75% of all homeless people are Latino.

Larry: Where did you, uh, hear that?

James: Well, I've taken my own random sampling with, uh, there's four guys that live like, on my block and three of them are Latino - 75%. I mean, the one guy is black. He could be, like, a dark-colored Latino but that wouldn't really make any sense, because that would mean 100% of homeless people are Latino.

[Larry nods]

James: Felix has a lot of slogans that will appeal, give positive messages to the Latino community. Right here, Felix is saying "No complainin', hombre!" I imagine, down in the barrio, people will be saying this to each other all the time - it's like their own sort of, uh..."What's up, doc."

[Larry smiles]

James: [in a meeting with Larry] I also imagine some other characters that I'm creating. For instance, I have this guy named "Mustafa"... he's a Muslim... he's somebody who's anti-terrorism. I think that if the 9/11 guys had seen Mustafa giving them a positive slogan before they got onto those planes, they would have said, "Gents, this is not a good idea. Let's do something else."

[Larry smiles]

James: [in character] Oooooh, my name is Mustafa! No longer fly planes into buildings, no! Love your Christian brothers and sisters!

James: You're just angry because I shined like a star up there and you sunk to the bottom like a ten dollar rock!

James: Ideas: In episode six, Mustafa can get a new sidekick, Osama bin Awesome, Osama bin Laden's really cool brother.

James: We've come down here to help the homeless, and it's a little disappointing because they're all asleep.

James: You know, one thing from that day, I realized that Jenna could've been raped by that bum that day if I wasn't around, and I've imagined her getting raped by that bum again, and again, and again and again. And so I did a little artistic essay with Jenna getting raped by that bum in various positions of the Kama Sutra. It covers three walls.

[last lines]

Jenna: I want to also appeal to celebrities. We have some celebrity friends that I would like to try and get involved. I would like to maybe have them be spokespeople, perhaps do some of our television, print ads for us...

James: Probably most of that stuff, they're gonna want me to do, 'cause it's my art... they'll, probably most of the stuff, they're gonna be interested in me doing it. And then I could probably have somebody like Willie Aames as my sidekick or something, right?

Jenna: Yeah...

James: ...and John Schneider.

Jenna: I think it should be somebody of color, because I don't think we want it to just be white people.

James: Like Whitney Houston could, you know...

Jenna: Oh my gosh, I would love to get, like, Halle Berry, because she's actually half white and half black, so...

James: I'm trying to think of another black person...

Jenna: Um...

James: Eddie Murphy...

Jenna: Mm-hmm...

James: Tyra Banks...

Jenna: Mm-hmm...

James: George Huff...

Jenna: [Thinks] Mexican people!

James: Uh... there's still more black people left.

[Both of them think really hard]

James: Bill Cosby...

Jenna: Well, what about black people we know?

[They both try to think of someone]

James: When I was five years old, I had a defining moment in my life. It was the first time I saw my own artwork, and I was... I was blown away.

James: Maybe if someone had given a Jew a lollipop with "Dare to dream" on it *before* they had gone to Auschwitz they would have *dared to dream* to get out of Germany and not just given up and gone to Auschwitz and gotten killed.

James: I must say, for a young country you've turned out almost as many pooftahs in 2 centuries as we have in 20.

Buzz: Well, this tea is not doing it for me...

[looking at James]

Buzz: would you like real real drink? I know where they hide the hard liquor.

James: [thinking] An ice cold martini, very dry.

Buzz: Is that going to be good for you?

James: ...Absolutely terrible.

James: You're going to have to take that rag off your face if you expect her to read your lips.

Vivian: She can read my tits!

Antonia: [while James's carrying her in his arms away from the brothel where she was drugged] We have to go back for Maria.

James: I won't stop till we get her back.

Antonia: You are bleeding, James.

James: It's fine.

Antonia: Oh but you're still handsome. Do you know that you're very handsome?

James: [smiles] I'll remind you that you said that later.

James: No. This means white power!

James: You Michael, huh? I guess you used up all the ugly in the family.

James: [to Fresh] You the little man running the street? Shit... Next thing I know niggers in diapers packing tec-9 and be trying to take over my business.

James: I got a call from Moscow, there's a problem.

Oleg: Relax, there's always problems in Moscow.

Cindy: You can do whatever you want. I just don't understand why it has to be this. I mean, since when do you care about nature?

James: I just want the opposite of this.

Cindy: Oh barf.

Lady Challoner: I can't imagine what's got into you two children

James: Boredom, Mother darling. Bored with this place, bored with not having any money, bored with you and father and bored with ourselves

James: Was he the fellow that stole the mummy from the British Museum?

Sir Peter: Hmm, yes

Dolly: What did he do with the mummy?

James: It was found next day wearing a top hat occupying the front bench of the House of Lords

Laura Palmer: I'm gone. Long gone. Like a turkey in the corn.

James: You're not a turkey. A turkey is one of the dumbest birds on earth.

Laura Palmer: Gobble-gobble.

James: You always hurt the ones you love.

Laura: You mean the ones you pity.

James: You're alone... because you're faster than the others. But not stronger...

Edward Cullen: I'm strong enough to kill you.

James: [catches Bella's scent from across the field] Ah... you brought a snack.

James: [Gesturing towards Bella's handheld camera] I borrowed this from your house. Hope you don't mind.

James: Oh, still stubborn, aren't we? Is that what makes you so special to Edward?

James: Beautiful. Very visually dynamic. I chose my stage well.

James: [speaking to Bella, after breaking her leg in the ballet studio] Tell Edward how it hurts! Tell him to avenge you! Tell him! TELL HIM!

Waylon Forge: Well hello.

James: Nice jacket.

Waylon Forge: Who are you?

James: Always the same inane questions... 'Who are you?'

Victoria: 'What do you want?'

James: 'Why are you doing this?'

Laurent: James... let's not play with our food.

James: A man prays to God for 50 years. The same prayer every night. "God, please let me win the lottery". Year after year after year after year. "Please God, let me win the lottery". And finally, an angel goes to God and says: "God, this man has been praying so long. Why don't you let him win?" You know what God says? God says: "I'd love to help him out. I'd love to help him out. But he has never bought a lottery ticket".

[repeated lines]

James: I'm thankful for everything I have. I'm deeply satisfied with my life and everything in it. I live for today and enjoy what I do. I don't compare myself to others.

Bob: You have everything I want. Everything I ever wanted. Then you messed it up.

James: Bob?

Bob: Do you think she's gonna take you back now?

[punches James in the face]

James: You're not a real man until you're 27.

James: Oh, I'm a loser? Says the guy with drug dealer friends and no car.

Cole: James ?

James: Mmh ?

Cole: This painting is alive.

James: No. It's just the PCP talking.

James: You sound like an asshole, all that was missing was a hashtag.

Severin: Why are you crying?

James: I look back to things that were when I was 12 years old. I'm still looking for the same things now.

Caleb, the Stalker: Jamie loves you. You have so much.

James: I see it... all around me... but it stops at my skin. I can't let it inside. It's always been like that. It's always gonna be like that.

Jamie: Recently we started talking about opening up our relationship.

James: Sexually, you know.

James: Well, shall we call it a night?

Michael: I don't know what the fuck we should call it.

James: You're making a mistake.

Lily: It's mine to make.

Sarah: So... who you fuckin?

James: Come on, I don't kiss and tell.

Sarah: But, do you fuck and tell?

James: Or that.

Anna: Thought you were a gentleman. Guess I was wrong.

James: What would a gentleman do? I'm unpracticed.

Anna: Find out what she likes and bring it to her. I like bourbon, for example.

James: Where would I bring it?

Anna: Not that clever either, huh?

Anna: [Showing off her party gown] What do you think?

James: I prefer the mustache.

James: I don't get you man.

Anna: Who says you're supposed to?

Anna: We don't even know each other.

James: Why do you invite me here?

Anna: I don't know. I thought you might be interesting.

James: I'm not?

Anna: Not to me. I know you too well.

James: I did love you.

Lorraine: I loved you too.

Rapunzel: You'll still cum on my face though, right?

James: Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Rapunzel: Because you didn't last time and I had to pour it out of the condom.

James: I remember.

Rapunzel: It's not as good.

James: Is that why you don't wash the dishes, because the roaches are hungry?

Theresa: Why else?

James: What are you hooked on?

Theresa: Anything I can get.

[last lines]

James: I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm here. I love you so much. I love you. I love you.

Zoe: I love you.

Zoe: It's beautiful...

James' Mum: You know what pisses me off the most, James? I already did this. I already said goodbye to you a number of times - more than once. And you had to turn up for real.

James: Sorry, mum.

James' Mum: Don't be.

James: It's gonna hurt a lot, and I don't want to feel it. I don't want to feel a thing.

Zoe: Hey, life is stronger than death, James.

Vicky: If you leave, I'll kill you.

James: Vic...

Vicky: And then I'll kill myself.

Eve: I think you just hate people.

James: I don't mind people, I just can't stand collective idiocy.

James: Many women and men have lived empty, wasted lives in attics trying to write classic pop songs. What they don't realize is it's not for them to decide. It's God. Or, the god of music. Or, the part of God that concerns Himself with music. That's why the hit maker has to be considered part divine because the divine spoke through them.

Cassie: Preposterous notion.

James: I dreamt I was dead and I could look back on everything I'd done.

James: I like this time of night.

James: I bet if I touched your hands they'd be freezing cold.

Eve: My hands are fine.

James: [slowly reaches over a pokes her hand] Cold, knew it. I couldn't stand that, I mean, I'd get sick instantly. I've got the constitution of an abandoned rabbit.

James: I know discos are frowned upon in bird society.

Eve: Oh really? How do you know that?

James: I was a young ornithologist.

Cassie: [resting on the river bank] We're definitely a band now.

Eve: Why are we a band now?

Cassie: This is something only a band would do. This is band shit. Day trips, canoeing, kayaking.

Eve: What do you think, James?

James: I think we are three people paddling a boat, that's all.

Eve: So what makes a band then?

James: You don't make a band, a band makes you. It comes up and sweeps you along.

Cassie: So, is the band going to have a name?

James: Oh, no, not a name conversation.

Cassie: Why not a name conversation?

James: Don't you think it's stupid just to give yourself a name just because you sing songs?

Eve: What, so the Beatles were stupid?

James: Well, they were kind of stupid if they actually stopped to think about it.

Cassie: You definitely think too much. You think the fun out of things.

James: I mean, I... I'm a lifeguard, I work at a pool with three other guys. We didn't give ourselves a name.

Cassie: What, like the Lifeboys or something? That's pretty good.

[last lines]

James: [narrating] Just for a moment we were all in the right place, and the possibilities were infinite. Now I'll go back to my room. Eve will get on the train to a grown up life free from neurosis. Cassie will wonder for a few moments, "What the hell just happened?" before she gets torn back into her own living delights and active miseries. And I'll go back to my room.

Cassie: [about the train] Was she on it?

James: Yeah.

Cassie: Do you want a lift?

James: Yeah.

[they ride off on the twin bike]

Martin: You're insane!

James: No, I'm not.

Martine Bells: [Of James' thumb] : Does it hurt?

[James smiles]

Martin Bells: Let's grow old together.

James: Let's get older.

Martin Bells: Now, there's a challenge.

Nina: I say timing is everything.

James: I thought it was location.

James: Just be glad you don't have what Samantha had got.

Riley: Why, what'd she have?

James: Well, you know, they're not really telling me much but my buddy over at the coroner's office said it's some kind of necrotic STD - it's some really gnarly shit.

Riley: Shit

Riley: Yeah... well you didn't fuck her did you?

James: Neh, What? No

[last lines]

James: So I raise a morphine toast to you. And, should you remember that it's the anniversary of my birth, remember that you were loved by me and you made my life a happy one. And there's no tragedy in that.

James: We've all forgotten that moment when you realize you'll never play in the World Cup Final, or... be the first man on Mars... And all those daydreams become fantasies rather than possibilities.

James: [Bill and James are being lowered down the rock face with Bill holding James in front of him] Why is it that I'm always the one that's getting it rather than giving it?

James: Tomorrow, I'm going to swim out into the bay and I'm not coming back. I know the enormity of this, but I'm asking you to let me swim.

James: I don't want to die. I want more time. I want more time. Take all of your pointless consumer fucking lives. I was going to do so much. I was going to be special.

James: I have never lost my shoes playing poker, I have never had a bandit hold a gun to my head...

Davy: I've never been to Birmingham.

James: I've never sailed 'round the- really?

Davy: No.

James: What about Marco's eighteenth?

Davy: Was that Birmingham?

James: Don't you ever get the urge to do something really dangerous?

James: I need a piss.

Miles: [preparing to help him] Hold up. I'm dying to see James' cock. It's been ages.

James: I'll swim as far as I can. I'd rather not be alone, mate.

[first lines]

James: James Kimberly Griffith. See I... The thing about life is... Oh, what was I gonna say? The thing about life is... I'm 29 today. Won't see 30. But I'm uh... I'm okay. Really. Okay.

James: This is how my life is going to be from now on. Because of the pain. Because of the drugs I take for the pain, because of the drugs I take for the side effects of the other drugs. I mean, you've seen it. It's only going to get worse. My life's all up here now, really. It's taking over and gradually I'm going to slip further and further into thinking only about pain and that's not worth living for!

[from trailer]

James: [to Tara] My whole life I feel like I've been sleepwalking. But you helped me. You woke me up.

[from trailer]

Joleen: How old do I look to you, James?

James: I don't know.

Joleen: When a woman asks you how old she is, you think, how old does she want to be. And then you say that number. You should listen to that so maybe you find a woman for yourself.

James: Nicole's never been to a real farm before.

[looks at Tara, she nods, trying to smile]

James: So when her mother gets back, we'll meet up, and, uh... we'll take it from there.

Mr. Reedy: Joleen's living the good life, huh? In her magnificent country estate.

James: I didn't say estate.

[Tara looks at Mr. Reedy apprehensively, then her eyes fall back onto her plate]

Mr. Reedy: She still living with that one guy?

[at this Tara goes stiff, staring at her grandfather]

Mr. Reedy: What was his name? You know, the one that knocked her up.

James: [Tara turns her horrified eyes on James, who very slightly shakes his head to her] No.

Mr. Reedy: What about the kid? Did she end up having it? I never heard, so you can imagine I'm a little curious.

[chuckles]

James: [looks at Tara again] No.

[Tara is silent, looking upset and confused]

Mr. Reedy: Well, I got the one, though. Right, Nicole? One grandkid's better than nothing.

[Tara nods, trying to hide her unhappiness at the truth of how she was born]

James: [referring to Joleen and her new boyfriend] Do you know where they might be?

Tara: [when Warren doesn't answer] Do you even know you're in jail? It's your fault she left in the first place, Warren. This whole thing is your fault.

Warren: No, I'm just wondering how long this has been going on, that's what I'd like to know.

Tara: [leaning toward Warren with a savage pleasure on her face] Do you know what Mom would call you? She had a name for you. When it was just me and her talking. She'd say it and we'd laugh. Do you know what it was?

Warren: [crosses his arms] I don't believe you.

[Tara smirks then takes her coat and leaves]

Warren: What was it? Tara, what did she call me? Tara!

Tara: [after she sees him staring at her] Uncle James, you're creeping me out.

Joleen: Hey, you be nice to Uncle James. James, where do you keep the hangers?

James: What?

Joleen: Hangers!

[to herself as she goes into James' room]

Joleen: God, this place is such a mess. I should have brought some of my own furniture.

[to James]

Joleen: And we're going to need another pillow for Tara, by the way.

Tara: I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you, Mom!

Joleen: [coming back out of the room] You know, you could really start unpacking your own shit instead of sitting there and pretending to do your homework.

Tara: I'm not pretending to do my homework, I'm pretending not to hate my life!

Joleen: Well, you're not doing a very good job of pretending!

Tara: Well, maybe I'm not applying myself!

Joleen: I don't need this kind of shit from you right now, Tara!

Tara: What kind of shit do you need from me right now, Mom?

Joleen: [kicking a chest of drawers] What do you want from me? God, Tara!

Tara: Where are we going?

James: We're going home. Home to your mom.

Tara: [brightens] My mom? Where is she?

James: She's in Westmoreland. Waiting at the police station.

Tara: What's going to happen to you?

James: Can't be any worse than it's been, you know? Before now, it's like I've been living in a dream. A bad dream, just sleepwalking. But you helped me. You woke me up.

Tara: I did?

James: Yeah.

James: [after a pause] Will you do me a favor?

Tara: Yeah, sure.

James: When you see her, tell her this the first day of the rest of her life. Okay? It wasn't before, but now it is.

Tara: Okay. Why don't you tell her?

James: I just want you to. Okay?

Tara: All right.

[pause, then speaks]

Tara: You know, you're not an idiot. You're not an idiot like he would always call you.

James: [smiles and takes her hand]

Ginger: I've come for my sister.

James: I'm sorry to tell you, but the Reverend has taken a real fancy to saving her from Hellfire. So I guess that leaves me and you, more or less, to ourselves.

[he smacks her in the face]

Ginger: [wipes the blood off her mouth] Right then.

Ginger: [after being hit by James] You hit like a girl!

James: Well, we've got all night to fix that.

[Milton just stole A.J.'s plans for Futureworld]

Milton: Crazy Amelia, you have got a sick mind.

A.J.: Just give those back.

[James walks in]

James: Is there a problem here Amelia?

A.J.: On no. There is no problem here at all.

Milton: Come on guys, lets go.

Marta Griggs: This simple island girl knows a good thing when she sees it: fine family, good-looking boy. There's a future there.

James: Just because she's not like those fools you invite home, caring for nothing but their latest dress and their father's money.

Lisa Arlington: You really think your sister could be out here after all these years?

James: All I know is, if there's any chance at all I can find out what happened to her, I need to at least try.

Lisa Arlington: What is that?

James: The guy who uploaded this video said it was from a tape he found in the Black Hills woods. I think that might be my sister.

James: Heather? Is that you?

[Emily & James chat by using webcam on the computer and have a little flirt]

James: Hey!

Emily: [smiles] Hi!

James: How was - How was work?

Emily: It was fine. One of the other girls, uh, called in sick, so I was the only one answering phones all night. Also, my - my arm's been really bothering me. It's like I bruised it or something, but I don't remember how.

[Emily holds her arm up to the webcam]

Emily: I think you can see. There's a bump there. Can you see?

James: Mnh - Mnh.

Emily: Well... I know I said I didn't want this, but when you're a doctor, could you just support me, and I'll just... Stay at home?

James: I guess, yeah, if you want that.

Emily: [laughs] That was easy.

James: I mean, do you want me to make it difficult for you? Like, um... I don't know, Emily. I guess you'll have to convince me here.

Emily: [blushes] No! Really?

James: I mean... maybe a little convincing, or...

Emily: Well, how 'bout now?

James: [Emily sits up and removes her shirt] Maybe a little more?

Emily: [Emily removes her bra as James watches] How 'bout now?

[Emily puts her chest to the camera giving a shake before laughing]

Emily: [recording ends]

[Emily records herself to show James where she heard noises outside her room]

Emily: Well, now I can show you my apartment.

James: Yay, I mean... I'm gonna see it soon enough.

Emily: Well, Fall Break's not soon enough.

James: Um... I know.

Emily: All right, so this... Like, right here... Uh, this is where I heard the footsteps.

James: [Emily shows James the hallway in front of her bedroom door] Um, back there?

Emily: Yeah.

James: Right. I mean, uh, could it have been coming from up stairs?

Emily: No. I mean... I know - I mean, my neighbor always wears heels, so I know what that sounds like. It was weird. It was like, while it was happening it didn't seem like it was real, but I was awake.

James: And you didn't check?

Emily: Are you kidding me? No way. I can't believe I was even, like, able to fall back asleep.

James: I mean, it sounds like you were asleep.

Emily: Okay, well, next time it happens, I'll call you and you can watch me, and maybe I'll be brave enough to open the door.

James: 'Kay.

Emily: [smiles] Okay.

[recording ends]

[Emily talks to James about seeing the ghost kid through her webcam, and the mysterious lump in her arm]

Emily: So, you think you saw... Are you sure you saw, like, a little kid?

James: I mean, I - I think I saw something, but it could have been anything, Emily. Like, you know, maybe it was, like... a breeze or something like that.

Emily: Breeze. Man, of all the times for you to not be recording our chat!

James: I'll record it next time.

Emily: I need to find out if a little kid died here. I'm gonna ask my landlord.

James: Um... I - I don't know if you should do that. I - I don't - I can't imagine he'd be thrilled to have that conversation.

Emily: Yeah, well, I think he has to tell me. I think it's the law or something.

James: The law?

[Emily continues to pinch the bruised area on her arm]

James: Why are you messing with your arm like that? What's wrong?

Emily: It's not... It's not getting better. It's like there's... Like, a lump under my skin or something.

James: You shouldn't do that. That's not good for you. Just stop touching it, and when I come and see you, I'll check it out, okay?

Emily: Okay. You're right.

[recording ends]

[Emily attempts to record what's outside her door with James watching through the webcam]

James: Emily? Hello? Hey.

Emily: Hey. Hey.

James: What's... What's going on?

Emily: There's something at my door. Listen.

Emily: [Emily records indistinct sounds coming from outside her bedroom door] Did you hear that?

James: What was that?

Emily: Shh.

[Emily walks to her bedroom door and zooms in to record the door knob jiggling]

Emily: Did you see that?

James: Emily, what are you doing?

Emily: I'm going to open the door with you here.

James: No - What, that's stupid. Why?

Emily: No, no, this is just like before.

James: Hey.

[Emily opens the door and records outside her bedroom door, only seeing a blackness throughout her apartment]

Emily: [Emily returns back to her bed with her laptop] See? I told you. My apartment's haunted.

James: It's not haunted. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.

[Emily shows James the hole in her arm]

James: What's that? What are you doing?

Emily: Oh, well, I felt that lump move in my arm today. So...

[Emily holds up the hole she dug in her arm to James on the webcam]

James: Emily, what the fuck is that? Don't do that!

Emily: Thought it might be a spider bite. You know, how you hear about - or like?

James: That's an urban legend. That's not real.

Emily: It's right under there. Look, look, I'll show you.

James: Stop! Stop that! Don't do that, okay? That's not good for you. This is like your leg, like seven years ago. You still have the scar from that.

[Emily gets up from the webcam and goes to the kitchen]

James: Emily, what the fuck are you doing?

[Emily returns with a sharp steak fork]

Emily: Well, I think if I just...

James: No, no, no, no, no. Put that away. Seriously, Emily, look at me. Emily! Emily, look at me, okay? You need to put that away, all right? Digging around in your arm is not gonna do any more good. All right? You just need to put some alcohol on that or iodine or something like that and - And - And put a bandage on it, all right? 'Cause otherwise it's just gonna get infected, okay? You know, I'll be there in a week and I'll look at it, but, but for right now just leave it alone. You're acting really crazy, all right?

Emily: Okay, okay.

James: Okay. I mean... Can you go to the bathroom and clean that off?

Emily: Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back.

[James covers his face with his hand and shakes his head, recording ends]

[Emily late in the night asks for James to help her see the ghost in her apartment]

James: Emily?

Emily: Yeah?

James: Are you there?

Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James: I gotta - I gotta do some work, so what's going on?

Emily: I know, this'll only take a minute.

James: What's up?

Emily: He's outside my room. I think, I can hear the little boy's footsteps.

James: That's really scary, Emily, what are you talking about?

Emily: Well, I just - I need to talk to him, and I need your help.

James: Um - I mean, I'll help in any way that I can

Emily: Okay. Great, great. So, I'm gonna close my eyes so he doesn't scare me.

James: What?

Emily: I'm gonna close my eyes so I don't freak out... and run back in here, okay? So you're just gonna tell me if he's there and if he's paying attention to me, and then I'll talk to him. I'll find out what he wants - If he wants me to find his body, or... whatever. I just. Uh... I don't want to look at him. He's a ghost. He freaks me out.

James: What? Um... Okay. All right.

Emily: Okay, can you do that?

James: Okay.

Emily: Okay, okay. So, as soon as - as soon as I open the bedroom door I'm gonna close my eyes, and then you'll me what's there, okay?

James: All right.

Emily: Okay, are you ready?

James: Yeah, yeah.

Emily: All right, I'm closing my eyes.

[James tries to comfort Emily who doesn't know what to feel anymore]

James: Listen, you're gonna be okay.

Emily: You don't know.

James: I do, you're gonna be fine.

Emily: [in tears] You deserve to be with someone normal - You know, someone who doesn't have so many problems. What if we want to have kids someday?

James: You know, um... You're the only person I've ever wanted to be with, Emily, so just... Stop acting like I have a choice in the matter, all right?

Emily: I don't know what I did to deserve someone... you're so good to me.

James: Get some rest.

Emily: I love you.

[pause]

Emily: Talk to you later.

James: All right.

[Emily blows James a sad kiss, recording ends]

James: I exist.

Luke: I'm gone.

James: Then go, motherfucka, go!

Adèlle: The night Sarah went missing, I saw a girl.

James: You saw a girl?

Adèlle: Yes, out in the yard.

James: You look just like a little whore, but I like that in a girl.

James: My doctor taught me this coping technique. He said that whenever you have any bad thoughts, you just imagine yourself on a boat in the middle of a beautiful ocean with crisp, clear water and you write the bad thought down on a piece of paper and tie it to a stone. And you throw it off the side and you just watch, you just watch as it sinks until you can't see it anymore. It's a good technique. It does work. It's just that... sometimes they float. All the way back up to the surface. They shouldn't, but they do. What can you do.

James: When you leave, I'm the one to look after our house, I'm the one to look after Mummy.

[first lines]

Donald Brocklebank: [answering phone] Hello? Hello? Yes, yes I know. No, I didn't know that. No, that's not good at all. No, she doesn't know. Hmm. Hmm. Exactly. Okay, goodbye.

James: They going to make it?

Donald Brocklebank: No, they're not.

James: Can I look after mummy this time.

Donald Brocklebank: I'm not going away.

James: But you always say that, you always do.

James: [knocking] Some one's at the door!

[starts running]

Donald Brocklebank: Stop James, I said stop!

James: But I want to see who it is...

Donald Brocklebank: We both know what you're like with people you don't know.

James: But I like people.

Donald Brocklebank: Yes, but they don't like you. Now quick, hide.

James: I'm going to prove to both of you that you *can* trust me. When daddy gets back, you're going to be better.

Nancy Brocklebank: In that case, I need to go to the loo.

James: Oh.

James: Lambchop, do you remember that wonderful, romantic honeymoon we never had?

Mary: I remember it as though it were tomorrow.

Mr. McTavish: James, I'm sure in your eyes, there are good reasons why you're risking your future for this person, but you have to understand... if she was worth the trouble, she would have the character or the insight to know the position that she's putting you in. But she's not doing that, is she?

James: She's had a hard time.

Mr. McTavish: You've had a hard time too. But you fought through it. That's the point here. There are people in this world who, for whatever reasons, have so little inside themselves that all they can do to feel alive is... suck the life out... of the people who have greatness inside. You have that... Listen to me, I've seen this before... Don't blow it all on someone who wouldn't stand up for you if your life depended on it.

James: Jesse, I brought these.

[indicating two guns]

Jesse: Do those even work?

James: They'll knock anyone down who tries to get at us.

Jesse: I'm sure they said that at the military base, too.

James: Yeah, well you'll be thanking me when I save your dumb ass.

James: You take a pencil, a piece of paper, S-U-G-E-R, this is what we need.

James: Where's Mr. Morehead?

Joyce: Who?

James: You know, Mr Morehead.

Joyce: Who's that?

James: Arthur, got more head than hair.