Jake Wilkinson Quotes in I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)

Tracey Wilkinson: When did I become your slave?

Jake Wilkinson: The day you were born.

Jake Wilkinson: Say something romantic.

Officer Max: Huh.

Jake Wilkinson: say something apologetic.

Officer Max: Huh.

Jake Wilkinson: SAY SOMETHING ENGLISH.

Officer Max: [after Jake couldn't convince Marjorie to forgive Max] So, how'd it go?

Jake Wilkinson: You know what a swirlie is?

Officer Max: You mean when somebody jams your head in a toilet bowl and flushes it?

Jake Wilkinson: Yeah, it was basically like that.

Officer Max: Ah, man!

Jake Wilkinson: [stuck in the desert, dressed as Santa, thanks to Eddie and his friends. Tries to pull off the beard] Ow! You glued it on, didn't you, you jerks!

[Tries to take off the hat]

Jake Wilkinson: The hat too?

[looks up in agony]

Jake Wilkinson: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Mayor Wilson: [catching Jake in the process of delivering the race money] Hey, when did Santa start using the mail box?

Jake Wilkinson: Oh, didn't you hear about the new work exchange program? The postman should be coming down your chimney a little later.

Jake's Dad: Well, son, she's yours.

[offers Jake the porsche keys]

Jake Wilkinson: But, Dad, I didn't make make it home on time.

Jake's Dad: Don't be silly. You were just a few seconds late. Here.

Jake Wilkinson: No, a deal's a deal. Besides, she isn't ready yet.

Jake's Dad: What do you mean?

Jake Wilkinson: Well, we're not really finished fixing her up yet, are we? I mean, I'm sure it's going to take a bunch more Christmases together to get all the work done. Don't you think?

Jake's Dad: Yeah. Thirty or forty at least.