Jack Wyatt Quotes in Bewitched (2005)

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Jack Wyatt Quotes:

  • Jack Wyatt: Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo...

    Isabel Bigelow: I have to undo this...

    Jack Wyatt: Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!

  • [from trailer]

    Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!

    Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!

  • Jack Wyatt: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender] This tastes awful!

    Uncle Arthur: I know. I just like to blend.

  • Jack Wyatt: [upon discovering Isabel is a witch] Am I gonna get pregnant? Because I cannot get pregnant right now!

  • Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!

    Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.

  • [last lines]

    Gladys Kravitz: [Standing at their window] Abner, come look! The new neighbors are movin' in!

    Abner Kravitz: [Reading the newspaper] Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.

    Isabel Bigelow: [Outside, in front of their new house, Jack lifts Isabel] Aaaah

    Jack Wyatt: Ah, yes, now I'm going to... carry you across the threshold

    [they enter]

    Isabel Bigelow: Don't you think the front yard looks a little bare?

    Jack Wyatt: No, I don't.

    Isabel Bigelow: But I think it could use a little something.

    Jack Wyatt: I-I-It's fine the way it is, honey.

    [Nose wiggling sound, followed by cherry tree growing and blooming in the front yard]

    Gladys Kravitz: Abner! A tree just appeard in the front yard!

    [She faints]

  • Jack Wyatt: [under Isabel's spell] Where art thou dog? Thy canine lover? / Where is thy hot breath on the nape of my neck? / We shall form a bond, man and beast. / You will lick my face and I shall lick your snout.

    [spell breaks]

    Jack Wyatt: Er guys, I swear I'm not doing this on purpose.

  • Jack Wyatt: Where is my dog? I will die if I do not have him back! Do you understand me? I WILL DIE IF I DO NOT HAVE HIM BACK!

  • Jack Wyatt: Umm... This is terrible!

    Uncle Arthur: I know! I just... love to blend!

  • Jack Wyatt: How would you like to be on a television show?

    Isabel Bigelow: An actress?

    Jack Wyatt: Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.

    Book Soup Cafe Waitress: Amen.

    Jack Wyatt: [to girl] You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*.

  • Ritchie: Will you stop it? You're being the mayor of Pussytown!

    Jack Wyatt: I don't want to be the mayor of Pussytown!

    Ritchie: I want you to get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville!

  • Valet: [to Isabel, who is trying to convince Jack that she is actually a witch] Miss, could you direct me to your car.

    Jack Wyatt: [sarcastically] Oh, she doesn't need a car, she has a broomstick.

  • Jack Wyatt: Endora, you rancid fruit bag, get out of my room.

  • Isabel Bigelow: [after quitting/being fired] I can't just walk back in there now.

    Jack Wyatt: Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.

  • Jack Wyatt: Watch the road!

    Uncle Arthur: Hey, is it Porsche, or Porsha?

  • Jack Wyatt: [reading a comment on his performance] I'm a tool?

    Ritchie: Yeah, but a good tool. Like a jack-saw!

  • Jack Wyatt: Party at my house!

  • Isabel Bigelow: Oh, we're going to kiss aren't we?

    Jack Wyatt: I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.

  • Jack Wyatt: So, were your parents in the witch business?

    Isabel Bigelow: Both of them. My mother fixed the 1986 World Series.

    Stu Robison: Someone make a note of that.

  • Jack Wyatt: Your home... is with me.

  • Isabel Bigelow: But everyone loves duck...

    Jack Wyatt: No, they don't!

Browse more character quotes from Bewitched (2005)

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