Jack Withrowe Quotes in Heartbreakers (2001)

Jack Withrowe: My car doesn't drive so well with a tree in it.

Jack Withrowe: [on the phone] Why won't you talk to me?

Page Conners: [on the phone] Because there's nothing to say.

[Jack appears from behind "Jane's" car]

Jack Withrowe: Then why are you here?

Jack Withrowe: Look, I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing, okay? But let's just take it slow.

Page Conners: Look, just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?

Jack Withrowe: Who told you I'm into that?

Jack Withrowe: Isn't that the shoe you wanted to jam up my ass?

Page Conners: No, that was the 6" heel.

Page Conners: [on a deserted beach at night] You're not out here burying high school kids, are you?

Jack Withrowe: Well, they egged my car.

Jack Withrowe: Tell me to my face you don't love me.

Page Conners: I don't love you.

Jack Withrowe: Wow. More believable than I thought it would be.

Page Conners: You spy on people humping in boats? That's so perverted.

Jack Withrowe: No, I look at stars.

Page Conners: Look, just because they're famous doesn't mean they don't deserve their privacy too. Who ya got?

Jack Withrowe: The stars up there.

[points to sky]

Page Conners: You mean you come all the way out here to stare at space and shit?

Jack Withrowe: No, I come out here to get away from the lights of the city so I can SEE the space and shit.

Jack Withrowe: Hi. Can I get you a drink?

Page Conners: Wow! I've never heard that one before. You really blow me away with your creativity.

Jack Withrowe: Well, I...

Page Conners: "Well, I, uh..." Your recovery's even better! Do you even care at all who I am? I mean, I could be the Antichrist or have the intelligence of a thermos, but unfortunately *those* are not the matters the male penis ponders. So please tell me, why did you walk all the way over here to ask to get me a drink?

Jack Withrowe: Well, because... I'm the bartender.

Page Conners: [bursting into Jack's bar] I want my purse, jerk-off!

Jack Withrowe: That's not very friendly. Now, I want you to go back out, and this time, when you kick the door open, say something nice.

Page Conners: [standing firm] You stole my purse, dip-shit, and you stole it so I'd have to see your ugly-ass face again.

Jack Withrowe: [excusing Page's volatile behavior] Everyone's a little irritable after they choke.

Jack Withrowe: You *are* good. You may not know it, but I *do*. You come on tough, but it's all just an act. I mean, you don't even believe in sleeping together before marriage. You're like a Brady or an Osmond or something.

Max Conners: Turning down a wedding gift is bad luck.

Jack Withrowe: Oh, I've never heard that before.

Max Conners: Sure, everything to do with weddings is bad luck.