Jack Moniker Quotes in Club Paradise (1986)

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Jack Moniker Quotes:

  • Jack Moniker: Tree, what's happenin'?

    [Tree offers Jack marijuana]

    Jack Moniker: Oooooh, no thanks. Last time I smoked that stuff they found me on top of the Sears tower trying to build a nest.

  • Jack Moniker: I got a little paranoid and thought people were out to get me. Now I know, they are.

  • Jack Moniker: In this country, the Constitution is written in pencil.

  • Jack Moniker: [takes a breath in the oxygen mask, then to Earnest, in a high voice] Now you stay here and honk if there's any troub...

    [realizes his voice is higher]

    Jack Moniker: Wait a minute!

    [takes another breath in the mask, then annoyed]

    Jack Moniker: This thing's helium. Goddamnit, I brought the wrong tank!

  • Jack Moniker: Your Excellency. You're looking elegant this evening. Why are we graced with your imperial presence?

    Governor Anthony Cloyden Hayes: The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil and the frying female flesh right across the island. I was curious to see what was going on at this perverted passion pit you're running here. This orgy bin. Whatever you call this drug-crazed nipple ranch.

  • Jack Moniker: Check it out. What about those two?

    Barry Steinberg: Eh... I don't think they're interested.

    Barry Nye: Too tall.

    Jack Moniker: Come on. They were just talking to me about you.

    Barry Steinberg: No.

    [incredulously]

    Barry Nye: Really? Then what?

    Jack Moniker: They said you weren't fit to sleep with pigs, but I stood up for you. I said you were.

  • Phillipa Lloyd: What island are you from?

    Jack Moniker: Ellis, originally.

    Phillipa Lloyd: So, what do you do around here? After you left The Palms, they said you were a smuggler.

    Jack Moniker: No, I'm a snuggler.

  • Jack Moniker: I heard about this guy in Cicero, well he stiffed a loanshark, so a couple of these guys got him, cut off his arm, beat him to death with the arm, and shoved it in a food processor and made a dip out of it. Then they served it to his family at his sister's wedding. And the sister loved it so much, she wanted the recipe. It's a crazy world, isn't it?

  • Jack Moniker: You know, I knew another proud, young, black man, like yourself, once. And I gave him some advice too. I told him, wear one glove - just one glove. The rest was history.

    Ernest Reed: Who was that?

    Jack Moniker: Willie Mays.

  • Jack Moniker: Be careful. Someone on this island has a doll with your face on it. Voodoo, ta-ta. Take care.

  • Phillipa Lloyd: You seem fit enough.

    Jack Moniker: Oh, inside, I'm a mess.

  • Jack Moniker: Toby here was just reminiscing about the good old days. Flogging. Slavery. Honest days work, for an honest days beating.

    Ernest Reed: Gone, but, not forgotten.

Browse more character quotes from Club Paradise (1986)

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