Jack Butler Quotes in Mr. Mom (1983)

[Trying to get Kenny to give up his security blanket]

Jack Butler: I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious.

Jack Butler: [Enters scene revving chainsaw] How ya doin'. You must be Ron Richardson. I'm Jack Butler, nice to meetcha.

Ron Richardson: Pleased to meet you.

Jack Butler: Huh?

Ron Richardson: I say I'm pleased...

[Jack Turns chainsaw off]

Ron Richardson: ...to meet you. I'm just waiting for Caroline.

Jack Butler: Well, uh, you know women.

Ron Richardson: Yeah, I'd like to think I do.

Jack Butler: Wanna beer?

Ron Richardson: It's 7 o'clock in the morning.

Jack Butler: Scotch?

Ron Richardson: Not during working hours. Ooooh, sorry pal.

Jack Butler: No problem. Come on over here Ron. Let me show you what I'm doing, taking advantage of some of the time off. To, uh, add a whole new wing on here. Gonna rip these walls out and, uh, of course re-wire it.

Ron Richardson: Yeah, you gonna make it all 220?

Jack Butler: Yeah, 220, 221. Whatever it takes.

Jack Butler: Honey if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club.

Doris (TV Repairwoman): Butler, you got a problem with your horizontal hold?

Jack Butler: I don't know.

Doris (TV Repairwoman): Your wife says you do.

Jack Butler: Well, she ought to know... come on in...

Jack Butler: You guys keep it down now. Kevin's about to find out his test results.

Alex: Kevin's a skunk!

Jack Butler: Yea, but Kevin gets all the girls.

Alex: He sure got Nicki!

Alex: Wow, what a house!

Jack Butler: Yeah, probably mortgaged to the eyeballs.

Caroline: Not this one, his great grandfather - Commander Richardson - built it.

Jack Butler: Eh... hand me down.

Caroline: [after arguing about sudden weight gain] Where are you going?

Jack Butler: [while eating a slice of pizza] I'm going to sleep on the FAT couch, if I can fit through the door

Jack Butler: [to Jinx] You ever talk that way to my kid again... I'm knockin' you out!

Jack Butler: My wife and I went to the movies the other day, we saw Rocky. While I'm watching it, I'm thinking 'This guy has taken some falls' you know.

Auto Worker 1: Which Rocky was it? 1 or 2, or 3?

Jack Butler: I don't know. Three I guess. But...

Auto Worker 2: Hey, did the guy have a mo-hawk like Mr. T?

Jack Butler: OK forget Rocky. The point is... when you're down, not not exactly out... I mean, I mean you gotta hang tough... I don't know.

Auto Worker 1: Well, hang tough baby! Do what Rocky would do!

[walks out]

Auto Worker 1: He didn't see Rocky!

Jack Butler: My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

Caroline: Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself, alright?

Jack Butler: Well, if you're so unhappy, why don't you say something about it?

Caroline: Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride.

[Jack takes the bedspread, pillow and a pizza slice before heading out]

Caroline: I've pride in this house, I've pride with my kids, and I've pride being Mrs. Jack Butler! Where are you going?

Jack Butler: [Eating pizza before going] I'm goin' downstairs to sleep on the fat couch if I can get through the door.

[Jack leaves the room]

Caroline: Well, you should take pride with some of that FAT, Porky!

[Caroline slams the door]

Jack Butler: Honey, you gave me some real good advice once, so let me give you some of my own. It's real easy to forget what's important, so don't."

Jack Butler: Kenny, don't paint your sister!

Caroline: Do you want to go over the list one more time?

Jack Butler: No, I don't want to go over the list! OK, let's go over the list.

Jack Butler: Your mom calls the vacuum cleaner, jaws?

Joan: Can I give you a hand?

Jack Butler: You can give me two I don't know what the hell I'm doing

Annette: Hello, Jack? I'm Annette.

Jack Butler: Hi.

Annette: You're doing it wrong.

Jack Butler: How'd you like a little trim on that moustache, Ron?

Caroline: Well, thanks. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting.

Ron Richardson: Oh, not at all. I was just having a little chat with your, ah, hubby, ah

Jack Butler: Jack.

Ron Richardson: Jack.

Caroline: Yeah, he's... quite a guy.

Jack Butler: [on phone] Ya?... Hi Joan. How are you doin?... Ahh, it's gotta be Kevin's... Victor? How could it be Victor's? Thought he got a vasectomy... It didn't take?

Jack Butler: [Overloading the washer with bedding] When I was in the army, we had to run a pretty tight ship.

Alex: There were no ships in the army!

Joan: [Shows her cards to Jack; open cleavage] Are these any good?

Jack Butler: [Trying hard to not look down Joan's blouse] You got two pair... You got... Plenty

Jack Butler: Take the money, Caroline!

Caroline: I can't.

Jack Butler: It was a bet! A bets a bet!