Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney Quotes in The Ruling Class (1972)
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney Quotes:
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Lady Claire Gurney: How do you know you're God?
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Simple. When I pray to Him, I find I am talking to myself.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: If I had only known then who I was now.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Behaviour which would be considered insanity in a tradesman is looked upon as mild eccentricity in a lord.
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Mrs. Piggot-Jones: [screams as she sees Jack's giant cross] Oh! What is it?
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: A watusi walking stick! Big people, the watusi!
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Sir Charles: [exasperated, after meeting Jack] Oh, my God!
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [ducking back into the room after hearing Charles] Yes?
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Join me for a constitutional before lunch, Mr. Tucker.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [to others]
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Enjoy yourselves while I'm gone. Relax. Have sex.
Lady Claire Gurney: [shocked] My... GOD!
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [peeping in as if he had been called back] Yes?
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Not here in the garden. Last time I was kissed in a garden it turned out rather awful.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Anything you care for? The Grand Canyon? A disused banana factory? Absolution?
Grace: A white wedding.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Would next Tuesday suit you?
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [Awakening in the morning on the giant cross where he sleeps at night] My heart rises with the sun. I'm purged of doubts and negative innuendos. Today I want to bless everything. Bless the crawfish with it's scuttling walk. Bless the trout, pilchard and periwinkle. Bless Ted Smoothey of 22 East Hackney Road. Bless the mealy redpole, the black-gloved wallaby and W.C. Fields, who is dead but lives on. Bless the snotty-nosed giraffe. Bless the buffalo. Bless the Society of Women Engineers. Bless the pygmy hippy. Bless the mighty cockroach.
[shouts]
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Bless me. Today is my wedding day!
[He leaps off the cross]
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Sir Charles: We're just talking about you and the subject of marriage. We think you should take a wife.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Who from?
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Sir Charles: There are certain matters to do with the estate that need clearing up. Nothing important. Just need your signature. Gives me power to handle odd things.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Of course, Uncle.
Sir Charles: There's no need to read it. Just take my word.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I take your word. I put on my glasses because I feel cold. Where do I sign?
Sir Charles: Just there. Excellent, excellent. Easily done, eh?
[reading the signature]
Sir Charles: "I, the undersigned, Mycroft Holmes?" Who's Mycroft Holmes?
Tucker: Brother of Sherlock Holmes, you illiterate oaf.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I take your word for it; I put on my glasses because I feel cold.
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Sir Charles: It's out of the question!
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Who asked you a question? Did you ask him a question? Nobody asked a question, so I'll ask a question: Who's the head of the Gurney household?
Sir Charles: You are, Jack.
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Then don't let me hear you answering unasked questions again!
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: For what I am about to receive, may I make myself truly thankful.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I was only trying to do what's expected me. I recall as a sign of normalcy in our circle to slaughter anything that moves.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I can't marry a second time.
Lady Claire Gurney: You're already married?
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: August 28, in the year of me, 1964.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Surely you pray for love and understanding?
Lady Claire Gurney: Every night...
Lady Claire Gurney: [glancing pointedly at her husband] ... without success.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Your job's done, Herr Doctor. I'm adjusted. I brush my teeth twice daily and smile.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [to Grace] I take thee, Marguerite, called Grace Shelley because she doesn't speak French, to be my wedded wife.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I stand outside myself, watching myself watching myself. I smile, I smile, I smile.
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Lady Claire Gurney: How did it happen? How did you come to be in this state?
Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Like every prophet I saw visions, I heard voices, I ran. The voices of Saint Frances, Socrates, General Gordon, and Timothy Leary, they all told me I was God. It was Sunday, August the 5th, at 3:32.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: If only I knew then who I am now.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [about competing lunatic] You're trying to split my mind with his tongue.
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Sometimes God turns His back on His people and breaks wind. And the stench clouds the globe!
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Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I must learn to keep my mouth shut, bowels open, and never interfere.
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