J.T. Hague Quotes in Planet Terror (2007)

[repeated line]

J.T. Hague: Best in Texas.

J.T. Hague: Hey, hey. You want some barbeque? Best in Texas.

Cherry Darling: Oh, no thanks.

J.T. Hague: What's the matter? You don't eat meat?

Cherry Darling: Oh, I eat meat. I also eat lots of shit.

[grins]

Cherry Darling: See that?

J.T. Hague: What's that?

Cherry Darling: Shit-eating grin.

J.T. Hague: [laughs] You ought to be a comedian.

Cherry Darling: What do you think of the leg?

J.T. Hague: [laughs] Sure is funny.

J.T. Hague: That boy's got the devil in him.

J.T. Hague: You're the second person to show up tonight.

El Wray: Who's the first?

J.T. Hague: [nods to Cherry] Right there. Must be passin' through. Seems only strangers eat here.

El Wray: [picking up his coffee] I still eat here, J.T.

J.T. Hague: Oh, yeah, you sure do. By the way, don't choke on all that food you're eatin'.

J.T. Hague: [after checking out Tammy] Now THAT'S a rump roast.

Sheriff Hague: I was thinking, we could build a new place right there where the old one was. You cook, I work the back.

J.T. Hague: You don't make that rent so God-Damn high.

Sheriff Hague: We share the recipe, we share the rent.

J.T. Hague: Start at 250 degrees.

Sheriff Hague: [Pulls a note pad and pen out] I knew it. For how long?

J.T. Hague: 12 pounds?

Sheriff Hague: Sure.

J.T. Hague: 12 pounds, 12 hours.

Sheriff Hague: Wrapped in tin foil, right?

J.T. Hague: I don't use no goddamn foil.

Sheriff Hague: Damn. Tomatoes? Fresh?

J.T. Hague: Canned.

Sheriff Hague: No Shit?

J.T. Hague: Yeah.

Sheriff Hague: You score me some?

J.T. Hague: Oh Yeah, cause we're brothers.

Sheriff Hague: Thank you for this.

J.T. Hague: You just remember, you got to take this recipe to your grave.

Sheriff Hague: I think I can... goddamn guarantee that.

[Dies]

J.T. Hague: Heh heh heh heh heh heh!

[Blows up the quarantine chamber]

Sheriff Hague: You cook that meat at 250 degrees don't you?

J.T. Hague: I don't remember. I set the heat with my hands.

Sheriff Hague: You give me that recipe or I'll raise your rent higher than a Georgia pine.

J.T. Hague: Brother, ain't no Texan's ever gonna give you his BBQ recipe, that's a fact! He'll take it to his grave! I could be bleedin' like a stuck pig and I ain't gonna tell ya! I could be dyin' in your arms and I ain't gonna tell ya!

[hangs up phone]

J.T. Hague: Heh heh heh!

Sheriff Hague: [to himself] We'll see about that.

J.T. Hague: Grab the slaw! Can't have a barbeque without the slaw!

Babysitter Twin #1: We need guns!

[J.T. hands both babysitter twins large, pump-action, shotguns]

Babysitter Twin #2: Fucking cool!