J.T. Quotes in Grindhouse (2007)

J.T.: Hey, hey. You want some barbeque? Best in Texas.

Cherry: Oh, no thanks.

J.T.: What's the matter? You don't eat meat?

Cherry: Oh, I eat meat. I also eat lots of shit.

Cherry: [grins] See that?

J.T.: What's that?

Cherry: Shit-eating grin.

J.T.: [laughs] You ought to be a comedian.

Cherry: What do you think of the leg?

J.T.: [laughs] Sure is funny.

[repeated line]

J.T.: Best in Texas.

J.T.: That boy's got the devil in him.

J.T.: Alright, but you gotta take this recipe to the grave.

Sheriff Hague: I think I can god damn guarantee that.

J.T.: Problem is Emmet, you killed the wrong McKendrick.

Kate: J.T. Watch what you're saying around Augie. Emmet didn't kill anybody.

Emmett: Well Kate, it was self-defense sure enough, but I do think you'd have to say I killed old Murdo. Yeah I think that's definitely the word.

J.T.: [very afraid] Don't kill me.

Dracula: There are worst things than death.

Valerie Sharp: You gettin' the crash? You gettin' the sunset? You gettin' the tits?

J.T.: Yeah, well, it's the talent that matters, Val.

Valerie Sharp: And don't you forget it.

[first lines]

Ramond: [from his car] Hey, J.T., how you doin', man. Everything go okay?

J.T.: [standing in the road, shows what's in his grocery bag]

Ramond: Bring it here.

J.T.: Let me see some money first.

Ramond: Look man, here's the money.

[holds up bag and cocks his gun]

Ramond: Now bring that stuff over here.

Vinny Gambini: I understand you played a game of pool with Lisa for $200, which she won. I'm here to collect.

J.T.: How 'bout if I just kick your ass?

Vinny Gambini: Oh, a counter-offer. That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. This is a tough decision here. Get my ass kicked or collect $200. Let me think... I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.

J.T.: Over my dead body.

Vinny Gambini: You like to renegotiate as you go along, don't you? Well, here's my counter-offer... Do I have to kill you? What if I were just to kick the ever-loving shit out of you?

J.T.: In your dreams.

Vinny Gambini: Oh, no, no... in reality. If I was to kick the shit out of you, do I get the money?

J.T.: [in disbelief] You kick the shit out of me.

Vinny Gambini: Yeah.

J.T.: Yeah. You get the money.

Vinny Gambini: So, here are my options. Option A: I get my ass kicked, or Option B: I kick your ass and collect the 200. I think I'm gonna go with Option B: Kickin' your ass and collecting $200.

[Takes off his jacket]

J.T.: We're gonna fight now?

Vinny Gambini: Yeah. But first, show me the money.

J.T.: I have it.

Vinny Gambini: You have it, then show it to me.

J.T.: [pause] I can get it.

Vinny Gambini: You can get it? Okay, get it. Then we'll fight.

[Takes his jacket from Lisa]

J.T.: Hey there, little Yankee boy. Look what I got.

Vinny Gambini: What is it?

J.T.: $200.

Vinny Gambini: Bring it here, let me see it.

[J.T. presents a roll of bills]

Vinny Gambini: How do I know that's not a bunch of ones with a twenty wrapped around it?

J.T.: [after short pause] It's two hundred bucks.

Vinny Gambini: Fan it out, show it to me.

[pause. J.T. stuffs the roll back in his pocket]

Vinny Gambini: Yeah, right.

J.T.: Hey there, little Yankee wuss! Look here, got your $200. You gonna kick the shit out of me now?

Patty: I do miss my parents and everything, but it's actually kind of nice to have a break from my life. It's the most downtime I've ever had.

J.T.: Downtime? You're a kid, what do you know about downtime?

Patty: Well, let's see... So, I go to school at 7 o'clock, and by the time I come out at 2, I have either dance class, show rehearsal, acting classes or singing lessons. And then most days I have two classes back-to-back. So that means I come home around 7-ish. Then it's dinner, homework, and my mom hounding me to practice with her 'til I'm ready to pass out. Oh, and let's not forget all the neverending competitions and pageants I have the pleasure of being forced to do.

J.T.: Oh, your mom's one of THOSE moms.

Patty: She means well, I guess.

J.T.: When do you see your friends?

Patty: Well, friends? No, friends aren't in the schedule.

Patty: Why don't you have any friends?

J.T.: I don't know, I guess I'm just uncomfortable around people.

Tracey: Before you order that, I would like to point out that cows are slaughtered. They are shocked with electric prods and herded off to the killing floor. Then they're hoisted up by one leg and hung on a processing tine, and then their necks are slit open, cutting the jugular vein as they slowly bleed to death.

Rollerskating Carhop: Hello... can I take your order?

Tracey: If, if they happen to somehow miraculously cheat death, then the animals are fully conscience as they reach the scalding tank as they mow for mercy while they're being boiled alive. So - tell me - you want to change your order?

[kisses his hand]

J.T.: Definitely changing my order.

[kisses her hand]

J.T.: Um, could you hold the mayo...

J.T.: Duke! The Pancake!

J.T.: So, what are you late for, Chooch?

Chooch: Uh, just meeting up with a friend of mine. You know, I don't want to stand him up, he's kind of an asshole.

Claudius: As a token.

[presents a jar]

J.T.: A bug in a jar?

Claudius: You see J.T., you are the bug, and I am the jar. Get It?

J.T.: I want to go back to the city.

Cornelius: And I want you back. Your special brand of cruelty will always have a place in our organization.

J.T.: I don't like to keep time.

The Stranger: I don't like watches myself. It's one of things that can sneak up on ya.

J.T.: Watches?

The Stranger: Time.