J.J. Blodgett Quotes in Avanti! (1972)

J.J. Blodgett: [as the helicopter is approaching the Ischia heliport] Are you guys sure this is Ischia?

Helicopter pilot: Reasonably sure, sir.

J.J. Blodgett: Because I don't wanna land in Africa!

Helicopter pilot: That would be bigger, sir.

J.J. Blodgett: Maybe it's one of those Greek islands?

Helicopter pilot: No sir, Greece is way to the left.

J.J. Blodgett: Not as long as I am with the State Department!

Carlo Carlucci: Mr. Blodgett, I am Carlo Carlucci, Director of the hotel. Such a pleasure to have you here.

J.J. Blodgett: [Paying scant attention to Carlucci] Thank you...

Carlo Carlucci: It may interest you to know, we had another famous American diplomat staying here once: Mr. Benjamin Franklin.

J.J. Blodgett: Franklin? Oh, oh yes, Ben Franklin... Well, good man for his time. Of course, today, I'm not sure he could pass the security check.

Carlo Carlucci: Would you like to see his room? It is in the old part of the building.

J.J. Blodgett: [Impatiently] Not now...

Carlo Carlucci: Excuse me, I would like your advice about something, straight from the horse's mouth. Do you think there will be a war in the Middle East?

J.J. Blodgett: [Somewhat taken aback] We don't give out that kind of information.

Carlo Carlucci: You see, I have been offered a job with an American chain of hotels... the Sheraton. And there are a couple of openings and one of them is in Damascus.

J.J. Blodgett: Damascus, hmm... Now don't quote me on this, but with the Russian presence escalating in the Mediterranean, and the military posture of the Arabs stiffening and the first strike capabilities of the Israelis at its peak, the whole place is a powder keg that could blow up in your face any second. My advice is, forget Damascus.

Carlo Carlucci: Thank you. In that case I'd better take the other job.

J.J. Blodgett: What's that?

Carlo Carlucci: The Sheraton in New York.

J.J. Blodgett: [Slight pause] Hmm... Take the one in Damascus!

J.J. Blodgett: I don't object to foreigners speaking a foreign language. I just wish they'd all speak the same foreign language.

J.J. Blodgett: What the hell is going on in this country? This wouldn't have happened in the old days!

Man at heliport: You remember Mussolini?

J.J. Blodgett: We don't need an export licence. We're gonna bypass all that bull...

Wendell Armbruster: Bypass, how can you do it?

J.J. Blodgett: No sweat. We're appointing your father commercial attaché to the embassy in Rome, and that entitles him to all the rights and immunities of a diplomat.

Wendell Armbruster: But wait a minute, we're going to appoint him...

J.J. Blodgett: Why not?

Wendell Armbruster: A dead man?

J.J. Blodgett: Just proves that we don't discriminate against anybody for reasons of race, creed, color, or state of health.