Izzy Quotes in The Mummy Returns (2001)


Izzy Quotes:

  • Izzy: [after their narrow escape, Izzy cheers wildly, then rounds on O'Connell]


    Izzy: O'Connell, you almost got me killed!

    Rick: [shrugs weakly] At least you didn't get shot.

    Evelyn: [Izzy is about to say more, when Evie grabs him and smothers his face with kisses] Izzy, thank you! Thank you!

    Izzy: [considerably more mellow] O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time, huh?

    Rick: Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs.

  • Izzy: [on seeing Izzy's dirigible, Rick draws his gun] Whoa, whoa, whoa! She's faster than she looks. And she's quiet, real quiet. Perfect for sneaking up on people, which is a very good thing.

    [lowers voice]

    Izzy: Unless of course we go with your approach: barging in face-first, guns blazing, and getting your friends shot in the ass!

  • Izzy: [to Rick] Whatever it is, whatever you need, I don't care. Forget it, O'Connell. Every time I hook up with you, I get shot. Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm in mourning for my ass!

  • Izzy: Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?

    Evelyn: Bank job?

    Rick: It's not like it sounds.

    Izzy: Oh it's exactly how it sounds. I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl.

    Evelyn: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk.

    Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.

  • [last lines]

    Izzy: Uh, that's half mine, you know.

    Jonathan: What?

    Izzy: [indicating the diamond] That's half mine.

    Jonathan: I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Izzy: What? You took my gold stick! I know you took my gold stick!

    Jonathan: No, I have no id- I swear on the head of my wife I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Izzy: You haven't - you ain't got a wife!

    Jonathan: I haven't got your gold stick either!

    [they keep arguing and their voices fade as the ship sails off into the sunset]

  • Izzy: Isn't she beautiful?

    Rick: It's a balloon!

    Izzy: Ach, it's a dirigible.

    Rick: Where's your airplane?

    Izzy: Hah, airplanes are a thing of the past.

    Rick: Izzy, you were right.

    Izzy: I was?

    Rick: Yeah.

    [draws pistol]

    Rick: You're gonna get shot.

  • Izzy: This thing was filled with gas. Not hot air - gas. I need gas to get this thing off the ground. Where am I gonna get gas from around here? Huh? Bananas? Mangos? Tarzan's ass? Well maybe I can finagle it to take hot air. But do you know how many cubic meters I'd need? I mean, it's too big!

    Rick: If anybody can fill this thing up with hot air, Izzy... it's you.

  • Izzy: O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.

    Rick: Didn't we do that in Tripoli?

  • Izzy: O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time, huh?

    Rick: Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs.

  • Izzy: You're not exactly catching me at my best...

    Evelyn: Oh... I'm sure I am.

  • Izzy: Well that's not good.

  • Izzy: Your Digimon's a loser.

    Tai: What did you say?

    Izzy: How could two mega-level Digimon get beat by one lousy bug? WarGreymon quit like a coward.

    Tai: [angered] You take that back, or I'll...

    Izzy: I was reading an e-mail from another kid!

    Tai: Well, you didn't have to read it so well.

  • Izzy: This kid I met on the internet e-mailed me. His name is Willis, and he lives in Colorado. I don't know where he gets his information. He's smart though. He's only in elementary school, but he's already taking classes at Colorado State.

    Tai: So what? I'm in junior high school and I take classes in junior high school.

  • Izzy: You've got mail!

  • Benji: We are The East. And we are your wake-up call. And we are not hiding from you.

    BenjiIzzy: [now in unison] We *are* you. We are the morning you got off the treadmill and ran under the open sky. We're the first time you kissed someone and they kissed you back.

    Izzy: We are the night you couldn't sleep. The night you stared at the ceiling thinking, "Is this it? Is this the best life has to offer?" No. There is a freedom in you that knows no fear.

  • Izzy: You know how they say two wrongs don't make a right? I'd say whoever said that has never been wronged before.

  • [first lines]

    Izzy: It's easy when it's not your home; easy when it's not your life. The place where you sleep, your kids, your wife. But when it's your fault it shouldn't be so easy to sleep at night. Especially when we know where you live. Barry Redmond, CEO of Lorex Oil, 2641 River Rock Road, East Hampton. You dumped fifteen million barrels of crude into the Atlantic. We don't care how rich you are. We want all those who are guilty to experience the terror of their crimes, because it shouldn't be so easy to get away with murder. Lie to us, we'll lie to you. Spy on us, we'll spy on you. Poison our habitat, we'll poison yours. We are The East, and this is just the beginning.

  • Izzy: Lie to us, we'll lie to you, spy on us, we'll spy on you, poison us, we'll poison you.

  • Izzy: I took that bitch to the fucking prom!

  • Arianna's Lover: [Izzy is frantically knocking on Arianna's door] I'm coming.

    Izzy: Hurry up! It's your neighbor.! Your, your porch is on fire, man!

    [Arianna's Lover opens the door and Izzy punches him in the face]

  • Izzy: Tell me you don't love me.

    Arianna: Izzy, I don't love you.

    Izzy: Well, I just... I'm not gonna accept that.

  • Izzy: How much money do you have?

    Kenny: Five thousand. You?

    Izzy: Seven hundred and a fuck load of cheese.

  • Izzy: You're gonna be wondering in 20 years why didn't i do something exciting with my life.

  • Izzy: You're married to a well-bred woman who is loaded, who makes a nice, flaky kugel, has a beautiful rack... and many successful marriages have been built on far less.

  • Izzy: [Staring at a sexy woman] I need to get laid...

  • 2nd Mrs. P's Father: Are you saying you were gratuitously violent with suspected felons?

    Izzy: Gratuitously? I always got paid, I ain't gonna work for free.

  • Harry Angel: [to Izzy as he is lounging on a deserted beach at Coney Island, in what must be early Autumn] Listen. What do you do around here in the summertime?

    Izzy: I bite the heads off rats.

    Harry Angel: What do you do in the winter?

    Izzy: The same.

    [chuckles nonchalantly]

Browse more character quotes from The Mummy Returns (2001)