Ivan Alexeev Quotes in Tapeheads (1988)

Josh Tager: Look, Ivan... I hope you're not putting too much faith in me. I don't even know if I...

Ivan Alexeev: "IF"? Instant Failure! "FEAR" - False Evidence Appearing Real! We've talked about this!

Ivan Alexeev: You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.

Samantha Gregory: I thought we had a professional relationship.

Ivan Alexeev: So I'll pay.

Ivan Alexeev: Josh, losing those jobs is the best thing that ever happened to us! We're free to pursue our destiny!

Josh Tager: What, abysmal failure?

Ivan Alexeev: Negativity festers in you, man!

Mo Fuzz: Am I crying?

Ivan Alexeev, Josh Tager: No.

Mo Fuzz: Well I wouldn't be surprised if I was!

Mo Fuzz: All this video is missing is production values.

Ivan Alexeev, Josh Tager: Production values?

Mo Fuzz: Yeah. Tits and ass.

Ivan Alexeev: [to Josh] Negativity festers in you, man!

[watching a music video]

Josh Tager: Stupid. Inane. Vapid. Mind-rot. Stench. Pabulum.

Ivan Alexeev: Yeah, it's all right!

[after being "HA!"-ed]

Ivan Alexeev: I'm gonna make him eat that syllable.

Ivan Alexeev: You know, Josh, in primitive societies, after they sever the umbilical cord, they eat the placenta in a ritualistic ceremony.

[bites into a burger]

Ivan Alexeev: Want a bite?

Belinda Mart: Ivan, why aren't you helping Josh set up the equipment?

Ivan Alexeev: He's an artist. He's hands-on. You know what I do? I use my selling techniques to give my artist friend the personal freedom he needs. Freedom, choices, possibilities. That's what I'm about. The boring administrative stuff, you know? I envy him.

[beat]

Ivan Alexeev: Can you get me another drink?

Belinda Mart: Sure.

Ivan Alexeev: It's product placement, man. Backbone of music videos.