Ishmael Quotes in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

Captain Nemo: This is my first mate.

Ishmael: Call me Ishmael, please.

Ishmael: Shall I wait, Captain?

Captain Nemo: No, bring my lady to me.

Ishmael: That Skinner's got a lot to answer for!

Dorian Gray: Not Skinner - me!

[raises his gun and shoots Ishmael]

[last lines]

Ishmael: [voiceover] The coffin. Drowned Queequeg's coffin was my life buoy. For one whole day and night , it sustained me on that soft and dirge-like main. Then, a sail appeared; It was the Rachel. The Rachel who in her long melancholy search for her missing children found... another orphan. The drama's done. All are departed away. The great shroud of the sea rolls over the Pequod, her crew, and Moby Dick. I only am escaped... alone, to tell thee.

Ishmael: Ehhhh, you can't fool us; it's the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he's got a great secret in him.

Elijah: I have, lad, I have. At sea one day, you'll smell land where there'll be no land, and on that day Ahab will go to his grave, but he'll rise again within the hour. He will rise and beckon. Then all - all save one shall follow. (Slinking away with a smile on his face) Mornin', lads... mornin'. May the heavens bless you.

Ishmael: [in voice-over narration] He did not feel the wind, or smell the salt air. He only stood, staring at the horizon, with the marks of some inner crucifixion and woe deep in his face.

[first lines]

Ishmael: [voiceover] Call me Ishmael.

Ishmael: Queequeg, such behavior isn't Christian. In fact, it's downright pagan and heathenish.

Ishmael: [seeing Moby Dick for the first time] Is it real? Do you see it, too?

The Manxman, a sailor: We all see it. That don't make it real.

Ishmael: [in voiceover, about Starbuck] His courage was one of the great staples of the ship, like beef or flour. There, when required, and not to be foolishly wasted.

Ishmael: [in voice-over narration] Long days and nights we strained at the oars while a white whale swam freely on, widening the waters between himself and Ahab's vengeance.

[as the traitor Melchior is trapped in flames and pleading for mercy]

Ishmael: I hear no voice. The dead cannot speak.

Ishmael: [after losing a game] Mr. Munson, you all right?

Roy: [calmly] Ish, uh, what happened in there?

Ishmael: Well, I don't know. Um, I thought I played pretty good. Uh, he's just a little better than me, that's all.

Roy: Pretty good, huh? 186.

[loses his cool]

Roy: You lost to a club player! What - that's not supposed to happen! You're carrying a 270 average!

Ishmael: Wh-wh-wh-what do you expect? I mean, you guys with your 10 frames.

Roy: [angrily] What do you mean, "you guys with your 10 frames"?

Ishmael: Well, my grandpa always taught me to bowl 15 frames. It's like I told you before, we Amish, we do everything half again as hard as you do. Ten frames.

[scoffs]

Ishmael: That's for Quakers.

Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?

Roy: Flossin'.

Ishmael: Flossin? Where'd I get "Munson" from?

Roy: The *name* is Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin', this is called floss, cleans your teeth, you oughta try it sometime!

Roy: Yeah, sure, Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?

Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.

Roy: Yeah, well, he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a clue what it is. It's round, it has three holes, and you stick your fingers into it.

Ishmael: [He points his finger into Roy's face] You leave Rebecca out of this, mister!

Roy: I'm talking about bowling! Your future!

Ishmael: Hey everybody there's a shit cloud coming! Run for your lives!

Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so *bombed*.

McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?

Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.

Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson?

Roy: I don't puke when I drink. I puke when I don't.

[On smoking]

Ishmael: You really should try to quit, Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process.

Roy: Is that right. Who's done more research on the subject than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it's harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke.

Ishmael: [to Ernie McCracken] I don't know who the heck you think you are, but if you don't wiggle those child-bearing hips out that door in 5 seconds, you're gonna find your nose sniffing my big Amish ass!

Roy: [Whispering so as not to awake Claudia, whom he means to leave behind] Just be quiet.

[as Ishmael whispers "okay," Roy trips and falls]

Roy: Ooh! I think I tore my sac.

Ishmael: [loudly] Are you okay, Mr. Munson?

Roy: Shh! What did I just say?

Ishmael: Uh, "I think I tore my sac"?

Ishmael: Ten frames?

[scoffs]

Ishmael: That's for Quakers.

[refering to Roy's hook for a hand]

Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.

Ishmael: You have a monkey?

Ishmael: I don't drink coffee.

Roy: Why not?

Ishmael: Because it's a stimulant.

Roy: What the hell do you think cigarettes are?

Ishmael: They are?

[Roy nods]

Ishmael: All right, make it an extra large, two sugars, lots of cream. Lots of cream.

Ishmael: No way. Uh-huh. There's no way I can bet. It's against my religion. I was raised to *not* be a gambler. There's no way I'm going to bet.

Roy: Hey, hey, Ish. Ish! *Ish*!

Ishmael: No. No! *No* way!

Roy: Hey! Listen, you stupid banana head! You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.

Ishmael: Oh, that's cool. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

[Roy agrees by gesturing with his hook and then looks at it awkwardly]

Ishmael: Some corn stalks were broken and I tried to fix them.

Ishmael: Hi Mr. Skidmark.

Ishmael: I didn't want to be the one to tell him, but with those narrow hips, that girl couldn't have more than 6 or 7 children!

[snickering]