Isabel Bigelow Quotes in Bewitched (2005)

[from trailer]

Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.

Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.

Isabel Bigelow: Oh.

[snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]

Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!

Isabel Bigelow: [Jack Wyatt is being a jerk on "Inside the Actor's Studio." Isabel gets on the phone with Nina] Yes, I'm watching it. What's a "dick?"

[Isabel changes a tarot card into a Visa Platinum Card to pay at Bed, Bath, and Beyond]

Isabel Bigelow: That was my last thing as a witch!

Isabel Bigelow: [Isabel rewinds time to undo a hex that was put on Jack and ends up back to where she was on the phone with Nina while watching Jack on "Inside the Actor's Studio."] Yes, I'm watching it, and you're right, he is a great big male reproductive organ!

Jack Wyatt: Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo...

Isabel Bigelow: I have to undo this...

Jack Wyatt: Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!

[from trailer]

Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!

Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!

Maria Kelly: Look, you have three choices. You can either quit... give up... or get mad.

Isabel Bigelow: What would Samantha do?

[Looks at picture of Elizabeth Montgomery &sets things off in the studio lot]

Maria Kelly: She chose mad, right?

[first lines]

Isabel Bigelow: [Outside a house at which Isabel has just landed and made available for rent, furnished, with an open house today] It's perfect!

Realtor: Oh, great!

Isabel Bigelow: I'll take it.

[last lines]

Gladys Kravitz: [Standing at their window] Abner, come look! The new neighbors are movin' in!

Abner Kravitz: [Reading the newspaper] Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.

Isabel Bigelow: [Outside, in front of their new house, Jack lifts Isabel] Aaaah

Jack Wyatt: Ah, yes, now I'm going to... carry you across the threshold

[they enter]

Isabel Bigelow: Don't you think the front yard looks a little bare?

Jack Wyatt: No, I don't.

Isabel Bigelow: But I think it could use a little something.

Jack Wyatt: I-I-It's fine the way it is, honey.

[Nose wiggling sound, followed by cherry tree growing and blooming in the front yard]

Gladys Kravitz: Abner! A tree just appeard in the front yard!

[She faints]

Isabel Bigelow: Your life is total instant gratification, Daddy.

Nigel Bigelow: It's fantastic, isn't it?

Isabel Bigelow: No. No, it's not. Because how do you know that anyone really loves you for yourself? It's like those rich men who are never sure why women sleep with them.

Nigel Bigelow: But women sleep with them, so it's not really a problem.

Jack Wyatt: How would you like to be on a television show?

Isabel Bigelow: An actress?

Jack Wyatt: Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.

Book Soup Cafe Waitress: Amen.

Jack Wyatt: [to girl] You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*.

Isabel Bigelow: [after Darin's dog jumps into her arms] Thank God you didn't have a great Dane!

Ritchie: That's it. You're fired.

Isabel Bigelow: Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.

Jim Fields: You don't have an agent.

Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man!

Isabel Bigelow: You're sweating again - I love it when you sweat!

Isabel Bigelow: [after quitting/being fired] I can't just walk back in there now.

Jack Wyatt: Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.

Nina: There must be a solution!

Isabel Bigelow: No, there isn't. We're at The Coffee Bean, and there is... no... solution.

Isabel Bigelow: Oh, we're going to kiss aren't we?

Jack Wyatt: I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.

Jack Wyatt: So, were your parents in the witch business?

Isabel Bigelow: Both of them. My mother fixed the 1986 World Series.

Stu Robison: Someone make a note of that.

Isabel Bigelow: I'm gonna be an actress in a television series.

Maria Kelly: She's going to play Samantha on Bewitched!

Nigel Bigelow: Bewitched?

[appalled]

Nigel Bigelow: That's an *insult* to our way of life!

Maria Kelly: [laughs] Your dad is a hoot!

Isabel Bigelow: But everyone loves duck...

Jack Wyatt: No, they don't!

Isabel Bigelow: [jumping up and down in excitement with Maria] I don't know why we're doing this, but it's fun!

Isabel Bigelow: [crying in her father's arms] Isn't there a spell that can make you stop crying?

Nigel Bigelow: No, darling, there isn't.

Isabel Bigelow: He's idiotic, and yet I find him completely charming. It's been like that since the beginning. Only now, I also hate him.

Nigel Bigelow: [nods] Love.

Isabel Bigelow: Daddy, what am I gonna do?

Nigel Bigelow: Go home.

Isabel Bigelow: Where's that?

Nigel Bigelow: Wherever you've been the happiest.