Inspector Winship Quotes in The Private Eyes (1980)

Inspector Winship: You know, I have an idea. Whoever wrote that letter must have read about us in the newspaper.

Dr. Tart: What is it?

Inspector Winship: What's what?

Dr. Tart: The idea you have?

Inspector Winship: I just told you!

Dr. Tart: What was it?

Inspector Winship: Whoever wrote that letter must have read about us in the newspaper.

Dr. Tart: Right! Now that letter was signed 'Lord Morley'. So he must have read about us in the newspaper and called us in to solve his murder.

Inspector Winship: How could Lord Morley write us after he was already dead?

Dr. Tart: Right! You know what? Maybe whoever killed Lord Morley wrote that letter.

Inspector Winship: If you killed Lord Morley would you write to someone and ask them to find the killer?

Dr. Tart: Are you saying *I* killed Lord Morley?

Inspector Winship: (aggravated) No! I'm saying you kill me!

Dr. Tart: You want another glass of pus?

Inspector Winship: No I don't want another glass of pus!

Justin: This is Inspector Winship and Dr. Tart. They were in the yard.

Inspector Winship: That's FROM the Yard.

Mr. Uwatsum: How about a nice bowl of fish eyes?

Inspector Winship: Will you pardon me, please?

Mr. Uwatsum: Ah... Do you like hummingbird cookies?

Dr. Tart: ...No, thank you.

Inspector Winship: For a short person, you have long sentences.

[the staff are introducing themselves to Winship and Tart]

Jock: [in a slurred and garbled speech] My name is Jock. I'm the groom. I was under Lord Morley's command in India. He had my tongue cut out...

Inspector Winship: Just a second. What did you say?

Dr. Tart: He said,

[imitating Jock's speech, only more garbled]

Dr. Tart: He said that his name is Jock. He was under Lord Morley's command...

Inspector Winship: Will you shut up?

Dr. Tart: [still imitating Jock's speech] That's what he said!

Inspector Winship: This isn't one of your better inventions. Who ever heard of a gun that went off every hour?

Dr. Tart: Might save your life someday.

Inspector Winship: Yeah, if you have to shoot someone every hour.

Inspector Winship: You better get a pigeon in case we have to contact The Yard.

Dr. Tart: Right. I'm gonna take Judy. Harold has been under the weather lately; stool has been a little loose.

Inspector Winship: That's too bad. I'll have to put a Get Well card on the bottom of his cage.

Nanny: [about Lord Morly] He claimed to have the power to return from the dead.

Dr. Tart: They say the wookalars have the power to return from the dead, too, and they only have a brain the size of a pea.

Inspector Winship: In that case, you'd have a hard time getting into the group.

Mr. Uwatsum: Ah... So.

Inspector Winship: What'd you call me?

Gas Station Attendant: [to Dr. Tart] Oh say, do you know you got stuff all over your face?

Dr. Tart: Huh?

Gas Station Attendant: You got stuff all over your face.

Inspector Winship: He's oiling his brain.