Inspector Milo Perrier Quotes in Murder by Death (1976)

Marcel: Something isn't right in all of this, eh. I can feel it in my buns.

Inspector Milo Perrier: Your what?

Marcel: My buns.

Inspector Milo Perrier: Buns? Your buns? You bought buns and you didn't tell me? Where are they? Where are the buns?

Marcel: Oh! No, monsieur. The BONES in my body.

Inspector Milo Perrier: You should not speak with an accent when you know I am so hungry.

Inspector Milo Perrier: Everything here has been rented for tonight. The butler, the cook, the food, the dining room chairs, everything!

Jessica Marbles: You mean...

Inspector Milo Perrier: Yes. This entire murder has been... catered.

Marcel: I will tell everyone that you wear a toupee.

Inspector Milo Perrier: They already know!

Marcel: Then why do you wear it?

Inspector Milo Perrier: I didn't know that you knew.

Inspector Milo Perrier: Since we cannot call for a doctor, I will need a cold compress for my chaffeur, and a cup of hot chocolate for me, n'est ce pa?

Jamesir Bensonmum: I don't think we have any Nespa, sir. Just Hershey's.

Sam Diamond: You say you know who's going to get it?

Lionel Twain: Intimately.

Inspector Milo Perrier: And you know how the crime is to be committed?

Lionel Twain: Definitely.

Sidney Wang: And exactly what time murder to take place?

Lionel Twain: *The* murder. Precisely.

Dora Charleston: Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?

Inspector Milo Perrier: Touch nothing!

Jessica Marbles: Will you stop saying "touch nothing?" We're all experienced criminologists. I find it insulting, debasing, and redundant to keep telling us to "touch nothing!"

Inspector Milo Perrier: Oh, be quiet, woman!

Jessica Marbles: Up yours, fella!

Sidney Wang: Most amusing. Bickering detectives like making lamb stew: everything goes to pot!

Inspector Milo Perrier: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

Sidney Wang: I like it, but do not understand it.

Lionel Twain: Aha, stumped already. Need some clues, Monsieur Perrier?

Inspector Milo Perrier: Clues? I need no clues from you! I find my own clues, you demented lollipop!

Inspector Milo Perrier: Doors and windows will automatically open at dawn, and one of us here will be one million dollars richer, and one of us will be going to the gas chamber to be hung.

Inspector Milo Perrier: What do you make of all this, Wang?

Sidney Wang: [long pause] Is confusing.

Inspector Milo Perrier: A mannequin.

Sam Diamond: No, a dummy.

Inspector Milo Perrier: Forgive me, but I was talking about patricide, not uncle-cide.