Inga Quotes in Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995)

Inga: Have you seen the size of her breasts?

Betty: Ugh, how can you miss 'em?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [Reading from his grandfathers' notebook] "As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hinderance to my speed, I resolved therefore to make a being of a gigantic stature."

[pause]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Of course. That would simplify everything.

Inga: In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.

Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.

Inga: Voof.

Igor: He's going to be very popular.

Inga: Werewolf!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?

Igor: There.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?

Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?

Igor: I thought you wanted to.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.

Igor: [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.

Inga: Yes, Doctor.

Igor: Nice working with ya.

[Dr. Frederick Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy!

[from inside the haycart]

Inga: Hallo. Vould you like to have a roll in ze hay?

[Dr. Frankenstein stutters]

Inga: It's fun.

[She begins to roll in the hay]

Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.

Igor: What is this?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte.

The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.

Igor: Who are you talking to?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.

Igor: I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But you did. I just heard it.

Igor: It wasn't me.

Inga: It wasn't me.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, now look here. If it wasn't you, and it wasn't you...

[he asks himself]

The Monster: [off-camera] Mmmmmm!

[after failing to bring the creature to life]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nothing.

Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace.

[starts beating up the creature]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Son of a bitch! Bastard! I'll get you for this! What did you do to me? What did you do to me.

Inga: Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I don't want to live. I do not want to live.

Igor: Quiet dignity and grace

[rolls eyes]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh... mama...

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to The Monster] Hello handsome. You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because... they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a God. And listen to me, you are not evil. You... are... good.

[the Monster starts to cry, and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein hugs him]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire.

Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready?

Inga: Yes, Doctor.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me.

Inga: Now? Right here?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform.

Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.

Inga: Put... ze candle... *beck*!

[last lines]

Inga: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [growls suggestively]

Inga: [gasping] Oh my goodness, I don't believe...

[emits several somewhat painful-sounding moans and grunts]

Inga: [singing] Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!

[Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.

Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.

Inga: You haven't even touched your food.

[Frederick explodes and slaps on his food]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There. Now I've touched it. Happy?

Igor: Sed-a...

Inga: Sed-a...

Igor: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Have all the preperations been made for the transference?

Inga: Yes, doctor.

Igor: Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It's the only thing that can save him now.

Igor: You realize you're risking both your lives?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [plays a sour note] Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well it seems as if our mysterious violinist has disa...

[sees something]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: puh.

Inga: Disa what?

Igor: -ppeared.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Shh.

Inga: Hold on to your hat! I'll be right back.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [literally holds onto his hat] I'm holding onto it, Darling!

Inga: Just a few more seconds.

Elizabeth: How do you do?

Elizabeth: [turns in Igor's direction to speak, changes her mind, then looks back to Inga] How do you do?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Uh, this is my financier, Elizabeth.

Inga: Oh, I'm so happy to meet you at last!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My fi-nan-ce...

Elizabeth: Excuse me darling, what is exactly that you do do?

Wanda: You wanna learn about America, Inga? In America, we like boys! We like hot boys! Boys with roaming hands and rushing fingers!

Wanda's mother: Wanda honey, want some Ovaltine?

Inga: Ja, ja, ja!

Wanda: Yeah, I'm just a bebop baby, and I don't take nothing from no one! See ya later, daddy-os. Have a cool Yule and a frantic First!

Inga: Hi? Obviously, someone here needs a little help with their look.

Boutique Clerk: Oh. It's not that bad.

Inga: Oh, please. It's a fashion teardown.

Boutique Clerk: You have some nice pieces. They're just not really working together.

Inga: Me? I was talking about her!

[points to Nancy]

Boutique Clerk: Oh, sorry. Wow! Where did you get that dress?

Inga: I noticed you were wearing Penny Loafers. Did your podiatrist suggest them are or you being ironic?

Nancy Drew: I like old fashioned things.

Inga: Oh... we've noticed.

Nancy Drew: [found a bomb in her car] Excuse me, I have to defuse this bomb.

Inga: Oh totally. Love is a battlefield

Inga: Where did you get all these scars?

Luke: Well, let's see. Skateboard... Truck accident... Fire hydrant.

Inga: I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?

Luke: No not really. I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.

Inga: I was wondering if you can make a kind of drink. It's called... what is the word in English for this...

[rubs her belly-button to signify 'fuzzy navel']

Pigpen: Horny-maker!

Pig Pen: [nervously] Hello Inga. I've never been a man of words, but there's something I have to say to you. Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you, and I love you more than any man's ever loved a woman that he's never actually spoken to. I'm only gonna offer this once. Inga, will you... have sex with me?

[long pause]

Inga: Nothing would piss off my stepfather more. Let's do this!

[at graduation]

Pee Wee Morris: Inga? Do you still have your dress on?

Inga: It's American custom, you know.

Tommy, Meat, Billy, Brian and Wendy (together): Ja! Ja! Ja!

Inga: I love America.

[she unzips her gown and shows pee wee her breasts]

Inga: Ja, ja, ja.

Inga: You are welcome to me!

[last lines]

[Inga's boyfriend knocks on her window after she is back home from her sexual awakening in Stockholm]

Helen - Inga's friend: [sitting with Inga in her room] Here are the boys. Ole wants to take you to the movie.

Inga: I have to ask mother first.

[after Inga settles in her sister's and Carsten's apartment]

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: What are you taking at school?

Inga: I'm taking the required program.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: Do you like it?

Inga: Yes.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: [lights a cigarette] Smoke?

Inga: No, thank you.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: You don't smoke. Do you drink?

Inga: No.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: What DO you do?

Inga: I'm in school.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: Oh yes, I know, you just told me. But, I mean, after school?

Inga: I do my homework.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: Oh. How nice. But I mean at NIGHT, for excitement.

Inga: Sometimes me and my friends are going to the movies.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: Your friend?

Inga: My boyfriend. We are going steady.

Carsten - Greta's boyfriend: So you're going steady... what does that mean? Does it mean you're, ah, holding hands in public or maybe you read poetry together?

Inga: Sometimes.

[Carsten puts his hand on his face in frustration]

Inga: [Kenneth is smoking] Get rid of that smoke, don't you know it kills people?

Kenneth: [throws the smoke at her] Then get a proper lung!

Inga: [goes berserk] What the fuck are you doing?

[goes for her knife, but before she do that, all the doors and windows in the room all of sudden shut. The room is darkened]

Rasmus: [pretending to be a monster voice in the dark] Ohh, your last hour has come!

Nicoline: Shut up Rasmus!