Indiana Jones Quotes in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Indiana Jones: [dressed as the ticket-taker] Tickets please.

Colonel Vogel: [in German] What?

[Indiana punches him, picks him up and throws him out a window into a pile of luggage; the other passengers look at him, bewildered]

Indiana Jones: [pointing out the window at Vogel] No ticket.

[the other passengers all pull out their tickets and wave them furiously at him]

Sallah: Please, what does it always mean, this... this "Junior"?

Professor Henry Jones: That's his name.

[points to himself]

Professor Henry Jones: Henry Jones...

[points to Indy]

Professor Henry Jones: ...Junior.

Indiana Jones: I like "Indiana."

Professor Henry Jones: We named the *dog* Indiana.

Marcus Brody: May we go home now, please?

Sallah: The dog?

[starts laughing]

Sallah: You are named after the dog? HA HA HA...!

Indiana Jones: I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.

Indiana Jones: Nazis. I hate these guys.

Indiana Jones: Sallah, I said *no* camels. That's *five* camels. Can't you count?

[Lecturing in class]

Indiana Jones: Archeology is the search for fact, not truth. If it's truth you're interested in, Dr. Tyree's Philosophy class is right down the hall. So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world. We do not follow maps to buried treasure, and "X" never, ever marks the spot.

[Encountering a painting of the Ark of the Covenant]

Elsa: What's this?

Indiana Jones: Ark of the Covenant.

Elsa: Are you sure?

Indiana Jones: Pretty sure.

Indiana Jones: [of Indy's new lover] How did you know she was a Nazi?

Professor Henry Jones: She talks in her sleep.

[talking about how they both slept with the same woman]

Indiana Jones: It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather.

Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.

Indiana Jones: Dad, I *was* the next man.

Professor Henry Jones: Oh... ships that pass in the night.

Professor Henry Jones: The Word of God.

Marcus Brody: No, Henry. Try not to talk.

Professor Henry Jones: The Name of God.

Indiana Jones: The Name of God... Jehovah.

Professor Henry Jones: But in the Latin alphabet, "Jehovah" begins with an "I".

Indiana Jones: J-...

[he steps on the "J" and almost falls to his death; he scrambles back up]

Indiana Jones: Oh, *idiot*! In Latin Jehovah begins with an "I"!

Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are. He's given them to Marcus Brody.

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus? You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.

Walter Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.

Indiana Jones: The hell you will. He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.

[Cut to middle of fair in the Middle East, Marcus Brody wearing bright suit and white hat, sticking out like sore thumb]

Marcus Brody: Uhhh, does anyone here speak English?

[Indiana and Henry are tied up]

Indiana Jones: Come on, dad. Help me get us out of here. We have to get to Marcus before the Nazis do.

Professor Henry Jones: But you said he had a two day head start. That he would blend in, disappear.

Indiana Jones: Are you kidding? I made all that up. You know Marcus. He once got lost in his own museum.

Indiana Jones: I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up.

Professor Henry Jones: Those people are trying to kill us!

Indiana Jones: [shouts] I know, Dad!

Professor Henry Jones: This is a new experience for me.

Indiana Jones: It happens to me all the time.

Elsa: [to Indy] I'll never forget how vonderful it vas.

Professor Henry Jones: Why thank you. It was rather wonderful.

Elsa: [kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.

Colonel Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.

[punches Indy with the head of his cane; Indy's head smacks into Henry's behind him]

Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.

Professor Henry Jones: So did I.

[after commandeering a plane]

Professor Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly a plane.

Indiana Jones: Fly, yes. Land, no.

Professor Henry Jones: [accidentally shoots their own plane with the machine gun]

Indiana Jones: Dad, are we hit?

Professor Henry Jones: More or less. Son, I'm sorry. They got us.

[Indiana slips and nearly falls into the abyss, but Henry grabs his hand]

Professor Henry Jones: Junior, give me your other hand! I can't hold on!

Indiana Jones: [reaching for the Grail] I can get it. I can almost reach it, Dad...

Professor Henry Jones: Indiana.

[surprised, Indy looks up at his father]

Professor Henry Jones: Indiana... let it go.

Professor Henry Jones: Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize.

Indiana Jones: And what did you find, Dad?

Professor Henry Jones: Me? Illumination.

[Vogel is holding Elsa hostage at gunpoint]

Colonel Vogel: Throw down the gun or the girl will die.

Professor Henry Jones: But she's one of them.

Elsa: Indy, please!

Professor Henry Jones: She's a Nazi.

Indiana Jones: What?

Professor Henry Jones: Trust me.

Elsa: Indy, help!

Colonel Vogel: I will kill her!

Professor Henry Jones: Oh yeah? Go ahead.

Indiana Jones: No! Don't shoot!

Professor Henry Jones: Don't worry. He won't.

Elsa: Indy, please do what he says!

Professor Henry Jones: And don't listen to her.

Colonel Vogel: Enough! She dies!

Indiana Jones: Wait! Wait.

[Indy tosses over the gun. Vogel lets Elsa go and she runs right into Indy's arms]

Elsa: I'm sorry.

Indiana Jones: Don't be.

[Elsa takes the grail diary from Indy's pocket, smiles, then hands it to Vogel]

Elsa: But you should have listened to your father.

Indiana Jones: [shouting, as the boat is being chopped up by a propeller] Why are you trying to kill us?

Kazim: Because you are looking for the Holy Grail!

Indiana Jones: My *father* was looking for the Holy Grail! Did you kill him too?

Kazim: No!

Indiana Jones: Where is he? Talk or you're dead! Dammit tell me! Tell me!

Kazim: If you don't let go Dr. Jones, we'll both die!

Indiana Jones: Then we'll die!

Kazim: My soul is prepared! How's yours?

Indiana Jones: [as the room is burning] Dad!

Professor Henry Jones: What?

Indiana Jones: Dad!

Professor Henry Jones: What?

Indiana Jones: DAD!

Professor Henry Jones: WHAT?

Indiana Jones: Dad, head for the fireplace!

Professor Henry Jones: The quest for the grail is not archeology, it's a race against evil. If it is captured by the Nazis the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth. Do you understand me?

Indiana Jones: This is an obsession, Dad. I've never understood it. Never. Neither did Mom.

Professor Henry Jones: Oh yes she did. Only too well. Unfortunately, she kept her illness from me. All I could do was mourn her.

Professor Henry Jones: I'm sorry about your head though. But I thought that you were one of them.

Indiana Jones: Dad, they come in through the doors.

Professor Henry Jones: Ha, good point.

Elsa: Don't look at me like that. We both wanted the Grail. I would have done anything to get it. You would have done the same.

Indiana Jones: I'm sorry you think so.

[Indiana Jones walks over after climbing up from the cliff and Professor Henry Jones grabs him in hug]

Professor Henry Jones: I thought I'd lost you boy.

Indiana Jones: I thought you had too Sir.

Professor Henry Jones: [moves back and attempts to compose himself] Well... well done. Come on.

[Professor Henry Jones walks away and Indiana Jones collapses to the ground in exhaustion]

Professor Henry Jones: [looks back and frowns] Why are you sitting there resting when we're so near the end?

Elsa: You came back for the book? Why?

Indiana Jones: My father didn't want it incinerated.

Elsa: [angrily] Is that what you think of me? I believe in the Grail, not the Swastika!

Indiana Jones: [angrily] You stood up to be counted with the enemies of everything the Grail stands for! Who gives a *damn* what you believe?

Elsa: [pleadingly] You do!

Principal SS Officer at Castle: [the Nazis burst into the room] Dr. Jones?

Indiana Jones, Professor Henry Jones: Yes?

Principal SS Officer at Castle: I will take zuh book now.

Indiana Jones, Professor Henry Jones: Wuh-what b-book?

Principal SS Officer at Castle: You have zuh diary in your pocket.

Professor Henry Jones: You dolt! You think my son would be that stupid? That he would bring my diary all the way back here?

[pause]

Professor Henry Jones: You didn't, did you?

[another pause]

Professor Henry Jones: You didn't bring it, did you?

Indiana Jones: Well, uh...

Professor Henry Jones: You *did*!

Indiana Jones: Look, can we discuss this later?

Professor Henry Jones: I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers!

Indiana Jones: Will you take it easy?

Professor Henry Jones: Take it easy? Why do you think I sent it home in the first place? So it wouldn't fall into their hands!

Indiana Jones: I came here to SAVE you!

Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yeah? And who's gonna come to save you, JUNIOR?

Indiana Jones: [shouts] I told you...

[grabs a gun and shoots all soldiers dead]

Indiana Jones: DON'T call me Junior!

Professor Henry Jones: Look what you did! I can't believe what you did!

[Indy has untied a boat as a diversion for the Nazis]

Indiana Jones: Come on, Dad! Come on!

Professor Henry Jones: What about the boat? We're not going on the boat?

Butler: [Answering door] Yes?

Indiana Jones: [In Scottish accent] Not before time! did you intend to leave us standing on the doorstep all day? we're drenched

[sneezes in butler's face]

Indiana Jones: Now look, I've gone and caught a sniffle

Butler: Are you expected?

Indiana Jones: Don't take that tone with me my good man! Now buttle off and tell Baron Brunwald that Lord Clarence McDonald and his lovely assistant

[Drags Elsa towards him]

Indiana Jones: are here to view the tapestries

Butler: Tapestries?

Indiana Jones: The old man is dense, this is a castle isn't it? there are tapestries

Butler: This is a castle and we have many tapestries, and if you are a Scottish lord then I am Mickey Mouse!

Indiana Jones: How dare he?

[punches butler in face]

Indiana Jones: [grabbing Elsa by the throat] All I have to do is squeeze.

Elsa: All I have to do is scream.

Indiana Jones: ...who drinks the water I shall give him, says the Lord, will have a spring inside him welling up for eternal life. Let them bring me to your holy mountain in the place where you dwell. Across the desert and through the mountain to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon, to the Temple where the cup that - where the cup that holds the blood of Jesus Christ resides forever.

Indiana Jones: I can remeber the last time we had a drink together. I had a milkshake. but, we didn't talk, we've never talked. Only if you were a regular dad just like the other boy's dad, this would be different.

Professor Henry Jones: I was a wonderful father.

Indiana Jones: Yeah, how?

Professor Henry Jones: Did I ever tell you to eat up, go to bed, wash your ears, do your homework? No, I respected your privacy and I taught you self reliance.

Indiana Jones: What you taught me, is that I was less important to you than people that have been dead for several hundered years and in other countries, and I learned it so well, that we've hardly spoken for 20 years.

Professor Henry Jones: You left, just as you were becoming interesting.

[Closes his diary]

Professor Henry Jones: Okay, I 'm here what you wanna talk about?

Indiana Jones: [At a lost for words] I... I don't know.

Professor Henry Jones: Then, what are you complaining about? Now, he who finds the Grail must face 3 challenges. First, is the path of God: Only the penitent man shall pass. Second, is the word of God: Only in the footsteps of God, shall he proceed. Last is the breath of God: Only in a leap from the lion's head shall he prove his worth.

Panama Hat: Small world, Dr. Jones.

Indiana Jones: Too small for two of us.

Panama Hat: This is the second time I've had to reclaim my property from you.

Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum.

Panama Hat: So do you.

[last lines]

Marcus Brody: Indy, Henry, follow me. I know the way. Ha!

[Marcus' horse rides off with him barely hanging onto it]

Professor Henry Jones: Got lost in his own museum, eh?

Indiana Jones: Uh-huh.

Professor Henry Jones: After you, Junior.

Indiana Jones: Yes, sir. Ha!

Indiana Jones: Are you crazy? Don't go between them!

Elsa: Go between them! Are you crazy?

[Donovan wants Indy to get the Grail]

Walter Donovan: You could go down in history.

Indiana Jones: As what? A Nazi stooge like you?

Walter Donovan: The Nazis? Is that the limit of your vision? The Nazis want to write themselves into the Grail legend, take on the world. Well, they're welcome to it. But I want the Grail itself, the cup that gives everlasting life. Hitler can have the world, but he can't take it with him. I'm going to be drinking my own health after he's gone the way of the dodo.

[Indy and his father have stolen a plane from the airship, and are now being chased by German fighters]

Indiana Jones: Dad, you're going to have to use the machine gun. Get it ready!

[Henry turns around and gets the gun ready]

Indiana Jones: [spotting an approaching fighter] 11 o'clock! Dad, 11 o'clock!

Professor Henry Jones: [looking at his watch] What happens at 11 o'clock?

Professor Henry Jones: I find, that if I just sit down to think...

[sits in chair, which tilts backward and opens up a hidden staircase]

Indiana Jones: [falling down hidden staircase] Daaaaad!

Professor Henry Jones: [resetting chair legs] The solution presents itself!

Indiana Jones: [steals a flower for Elsa] Fraulein, will you permit me?

Elsa: I usually don't.

Indiana Jones: I usually don't either.

Elsa: In that case I permit you.

Indiana Jones: It would make me very happy.

Elsa: But I am already sad, by tomorrow it will have faded.

Indiana Jones: Tomorrow I'll steal you another one.

[Finding a hidden passage in a Venetian library]

Indiana Jones: "X" marks the spot.

Professor Henry Jones: [Examining the broken vase] Late 14th Ming Dynasty. Oh it breaks the heart.

Indiana Jones: And the head. You hit me dad.

Professor Henry Jones: I'll never forgive myself.

Indiana Jones: Don't worry I'm all right.

Professor Henry Jones: Thank God... it's fake. See you can tell with the cross sections.

Indiana Jones: Jesus Christ...

Professor Henry Jones: [slaps him] That's for blasphemy.

Walter Donovan: As you can now see, Dr. Jones, we are on the verge of completing a quest that began almost two thousand years ago. We're just one step away.

Indiana Jones: That's usually when the ground falls out from underneath your feet.

Elsa: Dr. Jones?

Indiana Jones: Yes?

Elsa: I knew it was you, you have your father's eyes.

Indiana Jones: And my mother's ears but the rest belongs to you.

Elsa: It looks like the best parts have already been spoken for.

Elsa: [after finding that her room has been ransacked] My room.

Indiana Jones: Mine too.

Elsa: What were they looking for?

Indiana Jones: This.

Elsa: The Grail Diary?

Indiana Jones: Uh huh.

Elsa: You had it? You didn't trust me?

Indiana Jones: I didn't know you. At least I let you tag along.

Elsa: Oh yes, Give them a flower and they'll follow you anywhere.

Indiana Jones: Knock it off, you're not mad.

Elsa: No?

Indiana Jones: No, you like the way I do things.

Elsa: You're lucky I don't do things the same way. You'd still be standing at the Venice Pier.

Indiana Jones: What do you think is going on here? Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here. My guess is dad found out more than he was looking for and until I am sure I am going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done.

[Indiana Kisses Elsa]

Elsa: How dare you kiss me.

[Elsa Kisses Indiana]

Indiana Jones: Leave me alone, I don't like fast women.

Elsa: [while nibbling on Indiana's ear] And I hate arrogant men.

Indiana Jones: [after they both fall into bed, kissing] Ahh, Venice.

Indiana Jones: [Looking through his binoculars and seeing a tank] 12 pound gun.

Professor Henry Jones: What are you doing? Get down.

Indiana Jones: Dad, we're well out of range.

[the tanks fires on them]

Indiana Jones: Listen. Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here, my guess is dad found out more than he was looking for and until I'm sure, I'm going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done.

Professor Henry Jones: You say this has been just another typical day for you huh?

Indiana Jones: NO. It's been better than most.

Walter Donovan: [points a gun at Indy] The Grail is mine. And you're going to get it for me.

Indiana Jones: Shooting me won't get you anywhere.

Walter Donovan: You know something, Dr. Jones? You're absolutely right.

[He shoots Henry in the stomach]

[Elsa slips into a crevice and nearly falls, but Indiana grabs her leather gloved hands just in time. She slowly turns her head to see the grail resting below her]

Indiana Jones: Elsa...

[Elsa wrenches her left hand free to reach the grail]

Indiana Jones: Elsa. Don't Elsa. Elsa. Give me your other hand honey, I can't hold you!

Elsa: I can reach it... I can reach it...

[the glove on her hand starts slipping]

Indiana Jones: Elsa. Give me your hand, give me your other hand!

[Elsa cries out as she nearly touches the grail. The glove suddenly slips off her hand and she plunges into the abyss]

Indiana Jones: Elsa!

Indiana Jones: [Being tied up together] We gotta get free, dad. We've gotts get to Marcus before the Nazis do.

Professor Henry Jones: I thought that Marcus had a 2 day head start, and would vanish, disappear.

Indiana Jones: No. I made that up. C'mon dad, you know Marcus he got lost in one of his own museums one time. Dad, can you reach into my left pocket?

Professor Henry Jones: What will I find?

Indiana Jones: [Sarcastically] A lucky charm.

Professor Henry Jones: [Reaches into Indy's left jacket pocket] Feels like a cigarette lighter.

Indiana Jones: Use it to burn the ropes.

[Then Henry lights thew lighter and reaches back and burns himself androps the lighter to the floor, and after blowing on it a few times he starts a fire]

Professor Henry Jones: Son, there's something I have to tell you.

Indiana Jones: Don't get sentimental now dad, save until we get out.

Professor Henry Jones: The floor is in fire, and the chair.

Professor Henry Jones: Junior?

Indiana Jones: Yes, sir.

Professor Henry Jones: It *is* you, Junior.

Indiana Jones: Don't call me that. *Please*.

[Repeated line]

Indiana Jones: Ahh, Venice.

Walter Donovan: Find the man and you'll find the Grail.

Indiana Jones: You've got the wrong Jones, Mr. Donovan. Why don't you try my father?

Walter Donovan: We already have. Your father is the man who has disappeared.

Professor Henry Jones: Stop. You're going the wrong way. We need to get to Berlin.

Indiana Jones: Brody's this way.

Professor Henry Jones: My diary's in Berlin.

Indiana Jones: We don't need the diary, Dad. Marcus has the map.

Professor Henry Jones: There is more in the diary than just the map.

Indiana Jones: Half the German army's on our tail and you want me to go to Berlin? Into the lion's den?

Professor Henry Jones: Yes. The only thing that matters is the Grail.

Indiana Jones: What about Marcus?

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus would agree with me!

Indiana Jones: Petroleum... I should stick a well down here and retire.

Indiana Jones: Oh, rats!

[Indiana Jones finds a whole bunch of rats in his path]

Professor Henry Jones: [after hearing that Indy read the tablet] If only I could have been there with you.

Indiana Jones: There were rats, Dad.

Professor Henry Jones: [Startled] Rats?

Elsa: [meeting Indy and Marcus in Venice] The last time I saw your father we were in the library. He was very close to tracking down the Knight's tomb. I've never seen him so excited. He was as giddy as a schoolboy.

Indiana Jones: Who, Atilla The Professor? He was never giddy, even when he was a schoolboy.

[Elsa has helped Vogal capture Indy and his father]

Indiana Jones: She ransacked her own room, and I fell for it!

[Indy and his father have boarded the airship]

Indiana Jones: Well, we made it!

Professor Henry Jones: [looking out from behind his newspaper] When we are airborne, with Germany behind us, *then* I will share that sentiment!

[Elsa picks up the Grail and attempts to leave the Temple with it]

Elsa: We have got it, come on!

Indiana Jones: Elsa. Elsa don't move.

Elsa: It's ours Indy, yours and mine.

Indiana Jones: Elsa don't cross the seal. The knight warned us not to take the grail from here!

[Elsa ignores Indiana and her bootheel steps across the Great Seal, triggering the temple's collapse]

Indiana Jones: Bingo!

Elsa: You don't disappoint, Dr. Jones. You're a great deal like your father.

Indiana Jones: Except he's lost and I'm not.

Professor Henry Jones: [after escaping from the Nazis, and coming onto a road sign] Stop, wait, stop! Stop! You're going the wrong way. We have to get to Berlin.

Indiana Jones: [Points to the sign] Brody's *this* way.

Professor Henry Jones: My diary's in Berlin.

Indiana Jones: [cross] We don't need the diary, dad; Marcus has the map.

Professor Henry Jones: There is more in the diary than *just the map*.

Indiana Jones: [stops the motorcycle, annoyed] All right, Dad. Tell me.

Professor Henry Jones: Well, he who finds the Grail must face the final challenge.

Indiana Jones: What final challenge?

Professor Henry Jones: Three devices of such lethal cunning.

Indiana Jones: Booby traps?

Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yes. But I found the clues that will safely take us through them in the Chronicles of St. Anselm.

Indiana Jones: [pleased] Well, what are they?

[annoyed]

Indiana Jones: Can't you remember?

Professor Henry Jones: I wrote them down in my diary so that I wouldn't *have* to remember.

Indiana Jones: [angry] Half the German Army's on our tail and you want me to go to Berlin? Into the lion's den?

Professor Henry Jones: Yes! The only thing that matters is the Grail.

Indiana Jones: What about Marcus?

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus would agree with me!

Indiana Jones: [quietly] Two selfless martyrs; Jesus Christ.

Professor Henry Jones: [slaps Indy, angrily] That was for blasphemy! The quest for the Grail is not archaeology; it's a race against evil! If it is captured by the Nazis, the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the Earth! Do you understand me?

Indiana Jones: [Still annoyed] This is an obsession, dad. I *never* understood it. Never. Neither did mom.

Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yes she did. Just all too well. But, she kept her illness from me. All I could do was mourn her.

Professor Henry Jones: Nice landing.

Indiana Jones: Thank you.

Indiana Jones: [Indy bursts through the window into his father's room. He's hit on the head with a vase]

Professor Henry Jones: Junior!

Indiana Jones: [reflexively] Yes, sir!

Professor Henry Jones: It IS you, Junior!

Indiana Jones: Don't call me that, please!

Indiana Jones: It was just the two of us, dad. It was a lonely way to grow up. For you, too. If you had been an ordinary, average father like the other guys' dads, you'd have understood that.

Professor Henry Jones: Actually, I was a wonderful father.

Indiana Jones: When?

Professor Henry Jones: Did I ever tell you to eat up? Go to bed? Wash your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy and I taught you self- reliance.

Indiana Jones: What you taught me was that I was less important to you than people who had been dead for five hundred years in another country. And I learned it so well that we've hardly spoken for twenty years.

Professor Henry Jones: You left just when you were becoming interesting.

Short Round: Wow! Holy Smoke! Crash landing!

Indiana Jones: Short Round, step on it.

Short Round: Okey dokey, Dr. Jones.

[turns his cap around]

Short Round: Hold on to your potatoes!

Willie: For crying out loud, there's a *kid* driving the car!

Indiana Jones: Relax, I've been giving him lessons.

Indiana Jones: Willie, Willie, Willie. What kind of a name is that? Is it short for something?

Willie: Willie is my professional name, Indiana.

Short Round: Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Jones!

Indiana Jones: *My* professional name.

Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?

Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?

Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.

Indiana Jones: [trapped in the middle of the rope bridge] Oh, shit.

Indiana Jones: Mola Ram! Prepare to meet Kali... in Hell!

Indiana Jones: Willie, we-are-going-to-DIE!

Indiana Jones: Are you trying to develop a sense of humor or am I going deaf?

Willie: You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!

Indiana Jones: Maybe. But not today.

Willie: I hate the water... and I hate being wet... and I hate YOU!

Indiana Jones: GOOD!

Indiana Jones: Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh... and blood!

Indiana Jones: [trapped on a rope bridge] Shorty!

[Indy shouts to Shorty in Chinese. Short Round, wide-eyed, nods and wraps a rope around his arm]

Short Round: Hang on lady, we going for a ride!

[Indy raises his sword, and Willie realizes]

Willie: Oh... my... God! Oh my God... Oh my God...

[wraps a rope around her arm]

Willie: Is he nuts?

Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!

Short Round: What is Sankara?

Indiana Jones: Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

Indiana Jones: [groping desperately down Willie's dress] Where's the antidote?

Willie: Oh, listen, I just met you! Oh, I'm not that kind of girl...

Short Round: Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We've got company.

Indiana Jones: [after listening to Mola Ram's plans] What a vivid imagination.

Shaman of Maypore: Now you see the power of the rock you bring back.

Indiana Jones: Yes. I understand its power now.

[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]

Indiana Jones: "Palace slave"...

Willie: "Nocturnal activities"...

Indiana Jones: *I'm* a conceited ape?

Willie: "I'll tell you in the morning"...

Indiana Jones: I can't believe this.

Willie: He's not coming.

Indiana Jones: She's not coming.

[pause]

Indiana Jones: I can't believe I'm not going.

[as Indiana Jones drinks his martini, Lao Che's henchmen laugh as he holds up a vial]

Willie: What's that?

Lao Che: Antidote.

Indiana Jones: To what?

Lao Che: [matter-of-factly] The poison you just drank.

[laughs aloud]

Indiana Jones: Captain Blumburtt was just telling me something of the interesting history of the palace; the importance it played in the mutiny.

Chattar Lal: It seems the British never forget the mutiny of 1857.

[Captain Blumburtt laughs]

Indiana Jones: Yes, well you know I think there were other events before the mutiny going back a century - back to the time of Clive that are more interesting.

Chattar Lal: And what events are those Dr Jones?

Indiana Jones: Well, if memory serves me correctly this area, this province was the centre eventuity of the Thuggee.

Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, you know perfectly well that the Thuggee cult has been dead for nearly a century.

Captain Blumburtt: Yes, of course. The Thuggee was an obscenity that worshipped Kali with human sacrifices. The British Army Knights did away with them.

Indiana Jones: Well, I suppose stories of the Thuggee die hard.

Chattar Lal: There are no stories anymore.

Indiana Jones: I'm not so sure. We came from a small village; peasants there told us Pankot Palace was growing powerful again because of some ancient evil.

Chattar Lal: Village stories, Dr Jones. They're just fear and folklore; you're beginning to worry Captain Blumburtt.

Captain Blumburtt: Not worried, Mr Prime Minister, just erm... just erm... interested.

Indiana Jones: You know, the villagers also told us Pankot Palace had taken something.

Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, in our country it's not usual for a guest to insult his host.

Indiana Jones: I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about folklore.

Captain Blumburtt: What exactly was it they say was stolen?

Indiana Jones: A sacred rock.

Chattar Lal: [he laughs dismissively] Hah! You see, Captain? A rock.

Indiana Jones: Something connected - the villager's rock and the old legend of the Sankara stones.

Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, we're all vulnerable to vicious rumour. I seem to remember that in Honduras you were accused of being a grave robber rather than an archaeologist.

Indiana Jones: Well, the newspapers greatly exaggerated the incident.

Chattar Lal: And wasn't it the Sultana Madagascar who threatened to cut your head off if you ever returned to his country?

Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.

Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?

Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands... it was my

[looks downward]

Indiana Jones: ... misunderstanding.

[Indy threatens to drop the Sankara stones into the gorge]

Indiana Jones: You want the stones, let 'em go!

[the Thuggees stop, uncertain. Willie smirks at Mola Ram]

Indiana Jones: Let 'em go!

Mola Ram: [laughs] Drop them, Dr. Jones! They will be found! You won't!

Willie: You know how to fly, don't you?

Indiana Jones: Um, no. Do you?

Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, wasn't it the Sultan of Madagascar who threatened to cut off your head if you ever returned to his country?

Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.

Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?

Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands. It was my...

[looks down at his groin]

Indiana Jones: My misunderstanding.

[Indy and Short Round are trapped in a room]

Indiana Jones: Stop! Look, just - stand against the wall, will ya?

[Short Round stands against the wall, springing a trap]

Short Round: You say to stand against the wall! I listen to what you say! Not my fault! Not my fault!

Indiana Jones: [on Willie's incessant screaming] The biggest trouble with her is the noise.

Indiana Jones: You know what your problem is, Princess? You're too used to getting your own way.

Willie: And you're too proud to admit that you're crazy about me, Dr. Jones!

Indiana Jones: If you want me Willie, you know where to find me.

Willie: Five minutes. You'll be back over here in five minutes.

Indiana Jones: I'll be asleep in five minutes.

Willie: Five. You know it, and I know it.

[one of Mola Ram's guards is about to kill Short Round]

Indiana Jones: Wait! WAIT! He's mine!

[Indy grabs Shorty and holds him over the pit]

Indiana Jones: I'm all right kid.

[Indy winks at him]

Willie: There are two dead people in here!

Indiana Jones: There's gonna be two dead people in here! Hurry!

Indiana Jones: It's okay, kid. It's me.

[repeatedly, as Mola Ram is trying to get the stones in Indiana's bag]

Indiana Jones: You betrayed Shiva!

Indiana Jones: [after Willie loses Indy's gun] Where's my gun? WHERE'S MY GUN?

Willie: I burned by fingers and I cracked a nail!

Willie: Aren't you gonna introduce us?

Lao Che: This is Willie Scott; this is Indiana Jones, a famous archaeologist.

Willie: Well I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies.

Indiana Jones: Mummies.

Willie: So what are you supposed to be, a lion tamer?

Indiana Jones: I'm allowing you to tag along. So why don't you give your mouth a rest. Okay doll?

Willie: What do you mean "tag along"? Ever since you got into my club, you haven't been able to take your eyes off of me.

Indiana Jones: Oh, yeah?

[tugs his hat down over his eyes, and falls asleep]

Willie: Ooh, what big birds!

Indiana Jones: Those aren't big birds, sweetheart! They're giant vampire bats!

Lao Che: So it's true? You've found Nurhachi?

Indiana Jones: You know I did. Last night one of your boys tried to get Nurhachi without paying for him.

[Kao Kan holds his bandaged hand]

Lao Che: You have insulted my son.

Indiana Jones: No, you have insulted me. I spared his life.

[Indy and Short Round are exploring a cavern]

Short Round: Feels like I step on fortune cookie!

Indiana Jones: It's not fortune cookies. Let me take a look.

[Indy lights a lighter to find bugs crawling all over the place]

Short Round: That no cookie!

Indiana Jones: Shorty, where's my razor?

Indiana Jones: Stay behind me, Short Round. Step where I step, and don't touch anything.

[curious, Short Round touches a lamp. A door falls open, with two dessicated mummies falling out. Short Round yells and backpedals]

Short Round: I step where you step! I touch nothing!

[last lines]

Indiana Jones: Anything can happen. It's a long way to Delhi.

Willie: No, thanks. No more adventures with you, Dr. Jones.

Indiana Jones: Sweetheart, after all the fun we've had together?

Willie: If you think I'm going to Delhi with you, or anyplace else after all the trouble you've gotten me into, think again, buster! I'm going home to Missouri where they never feed you snakes before ripping your heart out and lowering you into hot pits! This is NOT my idea of a swell time!

[to native]

Willie: Excuse me, sir. I need a guide to Delhi. If you could...

[Indy snaps his whip around Willie's waist and pulls her back]

Willie: Oh...

Short Round: Very funny. Very funny.

[Indy and Willie start to kiss]

Short Round: Uh-oh!

Lao Che: You never told me you spoke my language, Doctor Jones.

Indiana Jones: Only on special occasions.

[after getting dumped into a pond]

Willie: [crying] I was happy in Shanghai! I had a little house, and a garden! My friends were rich, we went to parties all the time in limousines! I *hate* being outside!

[Willie angrily splashes the water]

Willie: [gasps] I'm a singer! I could lose my voice!

Indiana Jones: I think we'll camp here tonight.

Indiana Jones: [after the palace dinner] I've got something for you.

Willie: There's nothing you have that I could possibly want.

Indiana Jones: Right.

[turns and uncovers a plate of fruit, Indy takes a bite from an apple. Willie runs over and begins to devour the fruit]

Willie: You're a very nice man.

Indiana Jones: [to Lao Che] I suggest you give me what you owe me... or 'Anything Goes!'

Indiana Jones: We weren't brought here. Our plane crashed.

Willie: [nodding and smiling] It crashed.

Shaman of Maypore: [laughing] No, no, no. We prayed to Shiva to help us find the stone. It was Shiva who made you fall from sky. So you will go to Pankot Palace... and find Shivalinga... and bring back to us. Bring back to us. Bring back to us.

[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]

Willie: [looks at her clock] Five minutes...

Indiana Jones: [looks at his] Four and a half...

Indiana Jones: [meeting on the floor] The antidote!

Willie: Where's the diamond?

Indiana Jones: We're in trouble!

Willie: Trouble? What kind of trouble?

Indiana Jones: It's a long story. Better hurry up or you won't get to hear it.

Willie: [about the Sankara Stone] You could have kept it.

Indiana Jones: Nah, it would of just been another rock collecting dust.

Willie: Yeah, but it would have given you your fortune and glory.

Indiana Jones: If I have offended you, I am sorry.

Indiana Jones: Brutal couple of years, huh, Charlie? First Dad, then Marcus.

Dean Charles Stanforth: We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.

Marion Ravenwood: Mutt can be a little impetuous.

Indiana Jones: Well, it's not the worse quality in the world.

[Indy and Marion sink further into the ground]

Indiana Jones: Keep your arms above the surface. When the kid comes back, grab on.

Marion Ravenwood: Indy, he...

Indiana Jones: He's a good kid, Marion. You should get off his back about school.

Marion Ravenwood: Mutt, I mean...

Indiana Jones: Not everybody is cut out for it.

Marion Ravenwood: His name is Henry!

Indiana Jones: Henry. Good name.

Marion Ravenwood: He's your son.

Indiana Jones: My son?

Marion Ravenwood: Henry Jones the III.

Indiana Jones: [beat] Why the hell didn't you make him finish school?

Indiana Jones: [watching Mutt jump around, trying to get scorpions off of himself] Dance on your own time, will you?

Indiana Jones: [crashes into a truck windshield after a failed swing from his whip] Damn, I thought that was closer...

Mutt Williams: [Landing in duck boat after retrieving skull from Irina, looks at Indy] Whoa.

Indiana Jones: [Smiles back at mutt] Whoa.

[Looks ahead]

Indiana Jones: WHOA!

Mac: You're lucky I turned up, Jonesey. Dovchenko there wanted to blow your brains out. That's the third time I saved your life.

Indiana Jones: Unshackle me. I'll give you a big hug.

Mutt Williams: You're a teacher?

Indiana Jones: Part-time.

Indiana Jones: Where'd they go? Space?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Not into space. Into the space between spaces.

Mutt Williams: You know, for an old man you ain't bad in a fight.

Indiana Jones: Thanks.

Mutt Williams: What are you, like, 80?

Indiana Jones: Why don't you stick around, Junior?

Mutt Williams: [chuckles] I don't know. Why didn't you, Dad?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Dad!

[gives Indy a questioning look]

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Dad?

Indiana Jones: Somewhere your grandpa is laughing.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [Irina has Marion and Indiana hostage] So, Dr. Jones, you will help us?

[a soldier cocks a pistol and points it at Marion's back]

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: A simple "yes" will do.

Indiana Jones: Oh, Marion, you had to go and get yourself kidnapped.

Marion Ravenwood: Not like you did any better.

Indiana Jones: Same old, same old.

Indiana Jones: You want to be a good archaeologist...

[Mutt drives them out of the building on his motorcycle]

Indiana Jones: ... you've got to get out of the library!

Mutt Williams: One of the scorpions just stung me! Am I gonna die?

Indiana Jones: How big?

Mutt Williams: Huge!

Indiana Jones: Good.

Mutt Williams: Good?

Indiana Jones: When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites you, don't keep it to yourself.

Mutt Williams: [as Indy sinks in a quicksand-esque substance, he is passed a long snake] Grab on. It's a rat snake!

Indiana Jones: Rat snakes aren't that big.

Mutt Williams: Well, this one is, all right? It's not even poisonous. Now grab on!

Indiana Jones: Go get something else.

Mutt Williams: Like what?

Indiana Jones: Like a rope or something.

Mutt Williams: There's no Sears and Roebuck here! Grab the snake!

Indiana Jones: Maybe I can touch the bottom.

Marion Ravenwood: There's no bottom. Now grab it.

Indiana Jones: I think I can feel it with my feet

Mutt Williams: Grab the snake!

Indiana Jones: Stop calling it that!

Mutt Williams: It's a snake! What do you want me to call it?

Indiana Jones: Say "rope."

Mutt Williams: What?

Indiana Jones: Say "Grab the rope"!

Mutt Williams, Marion Ravenwood: Grab the rope!

Indiana Jones: [jumping out of the car] Big damn ants! Go!

Indiana Jones: Marion!

Marion Ravenwood: Well, it's about time you showed up, Jones.

Mutt Williams: Mom!

Marion Ravenwood: [looks at Mutt] Sweetheart! What in the world are you doing here?

Indiana Jones: [looks at them] Mom?

Mutt Williams: [ignores Indy] Ah, don't worry about me. Are you alright?

Indiana Jones: Marion is your...

Marion Ravenwood: [Indy is still ignored] Young man, I specifically told you...

Indiana Jones: ...your mother?

Marion Ravenwood: [still ignores Indy] ... not to come down here.

Indiana Jones: Marion Ravenwood is your mother?

Marion Ravenwood: [ignores him once more] I should've known Jones would drag you into this.

Indiana Jones: Marion Ravenwood is your mother?

Marion Ravenwood: [stops ignoring him] For cryin' out loud, Jones, is it so hard to figure out?

General Ross: Indy, thank God. Don't you know it's dangerous to climb into a refrigerator? Those things can be deathtraps!

Indiana Jones: [shakes General Ross' hand] Good to see you too, Bob.

Mutt Williams: [Looking at Indy and Marion] No! No, he was Britsh! My dad was an RAF Pilot; he was a war hero; not some school teacher!

Marion Ravenwood: No, sweetheart! Collin was your step father. We started dating 3 months after you were born! He was a good man!

Indiana Jones: Wait... wait... wait a minute! Collin? As in Collin Williams? Ha! You, you married him? I introduced you!

Marion Ravenwood: I think you gave up your vote on who I married, when you decided to break it off a week before the wedding!

Indiana Jones: You and I both knew Marion, that it wasn't gonna work out!

Marion Ravenwood: Then why didn't you ever talk to me about it?

Indiana Jones: Because, we never had an argument I won!

Dovchenko: Oh, for the love of God! Shut the hell up!

Marion Ravenwood: Didn't you ever wonder why Ox stopped writing, he hated that you walked out on me!

Mutt Williams: Would you two just stop!

Indiana Jones: Yeah, Marion! Let's not let the kid see mom and dad fight!

Mutt Williams: You're not my dad, alright!

Indiana Jones: You bet I am; and I've got news for you; you're gonna go back and finish school!

Mutt Williams: Oh really! What happend to there's not a damn thing wrong, with you kid, don't let anybody ealse tell you any different! You don't remember saying that!

Indiana Jones: That was before I was your father!

Mutt Williams: You're not my father!

Marion Ravenwood: [Dovchenko gets up] Oh yes, he is your father!

Indiana Jones: You should've told me about the kid, Marion; I had a right to know!

Marion Ravenwood: [Dovchenko gags Marions mouth] You vanished, after that!

Indiana Jones: I wrote!

Marion Ravenwood: A year later! By then, Mutt was born, and I was married!

Indiana Jones: Why in the bother did you tell me now?

Marion Ravenwood: Because I thought we were gonna die!

Indiana Jones: Not yet!

[Indy and Mutt start kicking Dovchenko until he falls over]

Mutt Williams: [Mutt empties knife out of shoe, and throws it to Indy, and it lands on Indy's shoulder, and drops to Indy's hand] Got it?

[Mutt hears rip]

Mutt Williams: Oh shit!

[Indy cuts himself loose, then Mutt]

Mutt Williams: [in a graveyard]

[reading a sign]

Mutt Williams: "Grave robbers will be shot."

Indiana Jones: Good thing we're not grave robbers.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: This warehouse is where you and your government have hidden all of your secrets, yes?

Indiana Jones: This is a military warehouse. I've never been here before in my life.

Indiana Jones: So what are you, a triple agent?

Mac: Nah, I just lied about being a double.

Indiana Jones: Leave it to Ox to write a riddle in a dead language.

Indiana Jones: Oh, that can't be good.

Speaker Voice: All personnel, it is now one minute to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles or face burst until ten seconds after first light.

Indiana Jones: That can't be good at all.

Indiana Jones: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Marion Ravenwood: You still living a trail of human wreckage, or have you retired?

Indiana Jones: Why? You looking for a date?

Marion Ravenwood: With anyone but you.

Dovchenko: You can get us into that building, yes?

Indiana Jones: Drop dead.

[Dovchenko slaps Indy across his face]

Indiana Jones: I'm sorry. I meant drop dead, comrade.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: How fortunate our failure to kill you, Dr. Jones. You survive to be of service to us once again.

Indiana Jones: Well, you know me, always glad to help.

Indiana Jones: Nazca Indians used to bind their infants' head with rope to elongate the skull like that.

Mutt Williams: Why?

Indiana Jones: Honor the gods.

Mutt Williams: No, no. God's head is not like that, man.

Indiana Jones: Depends on who your god is.

Mutt Williams: Mom!

Indiana Jones: Honey!

Mac: Slow down!

Indiana Jones: Honey! Stop, we're gonna go the cliff!

Marion Ravenwood: That's the idea!

Indiana Jones: Bad idea; give me the wheel!

Marion Ravenwood: Trust me!

[Steps on gas]

Marion Ravenwood: [Mutt screems]

[Car lands in tree, and Marion smiles and steps on gas, drives down into the river, and tree flys up and hits Russian soldiers, and some of them fall]

Indiana Jones: Don't ever do that again!

Marion Ravenwood: Yes, dear!

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Three times it drops! The way down...

Indiana Jones: Reverse! Put it in reverse! Reverse! Reverse!

[Go off water]

Indiana Jones: [Everyone screems]

Indiana Jones: [Coughing] Three times it drops?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Three times it drops!

Mutt Williams: He means by land?

Marion Ravenwood: Oh, what does he mean?

Indiana Jones: He means one... two...

[Go off another waterfall]

Indiana Jones: [Coughing] ... Three!

[Takes off hat]

Indiana Jones: [Go off biggest waterfall]

[Screeming]

Indiana Jones: [Marion still holding wheel with no truck!] Marion! Marion!

[Pulls wheel out of her hands]

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Through eyes at last I saw in tears...

Mutt Williams: ...the golden vision reapears! Through eyes... through eyes in tears! We gotta go through that waterfall!

Indiana Jones: The skull has to be returned! I'll do it! No one else has to come!

Mutt Williams: Who cares! It's brought us nothing but trouble!

[Pointing at Ox]

Mutt Williams: Look what it did to him!

Indiana Jones: I have to return it!

Marion Ravenwood: Why you?

Indiana Jones: Because it told me to!

Mutt Williams: I took Spanish. I didn't understand a word of that. What was it?

Indiana Jones: Quechua, local Incan dialect.

Mutt Williams: Where'd you learn that one?

Indiana Jones: Long story.

Mutt Williams: I got time.

Indiana Jones: I rode with Pancho Villa. A couple of his guys spoke it.

Mutt Williams: Bullshit!

Indiana Jones: You asked.

Mutt Williams: I don't understand. Why the legend about the city of gold?

Indiana Jones: The Ugha word for gold translates as "treasure." But their treasure wasn't gold. It was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.

Indiana Jones: Marion, take the wheel.

Mutt Williams: That's not fair. She drove the truck.

Indiana Jones: Don't be a child. Find something to fight with.

Mutt Williams: Name's Mutt, Mutt Williams.

Indiana Jones: Mutt?

Mutt Williams: Yeah.

Indiana Jones: What kind of name is that?

Mutt Williams: It's the one I picked. You got a problem with it?

Indiana Jones: Take it easy.

Indiana Jones: [Mutt pops open his switchblade, ready to fight two KGB agents] Nice try kid, but it looks like you brought a knife...

[both agents pull out guns]

Indiana Jones: ... to a gun fight.

Indiana Jones: What's your mom's name again?

Mutt Williams: Mary. Mary Williams. You remember her?

Indiana Jones: There've been a lot of Marys, kid.

Mutt Williams: [jolts up from chair] Shut up! That's my mother you're talking about! All right? That's my mother.

Indiana Jones: You don't have to get sore all the time just to prove how tough you are.

Mutt Williams: What's he gonna do now?

Marion Ravenwood: I don't think he plans that far ahead.

Mutt Williams: Yeah.

Indiana Jones: [pops out from the inside of the truck with a bazooka] Scooch over, will you, Son?

Mutt Williams: Don't call me "son." Don't.

Indiana Jones: [ignoring Mutt's complaint] I think I'd cover my ears if I were you.

[Indy fires a rocket at a giant tree cutter, but it sends the large circular blade bouncing straight for them, cutting through other trucks as it goes]

Indiana Jones: Duck! Duck!

Mutt Williams: Professor, this really is a dead end. Look.

Indiana Jones: [after climbing on the rock and noticing that it shifts with force, tilting it first away, and then back to Mutt, with a grin] Come on, genius.

[last lines]

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Well done, Henry!

Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams: Thanks, Ox.

Marion Ravenwood: [Indy cuts Marion loose, and removes gag] I'm sure I wasn't the only person to go on with my life. There must have been plenty of women for you over the years.

Indiana Jones: Yeah. There were a few, but they all had the same problem.

Marion Ravenwood: Yeah? What's that?

Indiana Jones: [Indy cuts through roof] They weren't you, honey.

[Throws Mutt knife, and climbs out of truck. Marion smiles a big smile]

Indiana Jones: [Mutt smiles and laughs]

[Mutt and Marion get thrown around truck!]

Indiana Jones: [Indy throws Russian out of truck, and big action scene starts]

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Belief, Dr. Jones, is a gift you have yet to receive. My sympathies.

Indiana Jones: Oh, I believe, sister. That's why I'm down here.

Mac: You broke my nose!

Indiana Jones: I told you.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Enough! You will speak to Oxley and lead us to Akator, yes?

Indiana Jones: Nyet.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Take him outside.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Don't toy with me, Dr. Jones. What is the point of all this?

Indiana Jones: If it's still magnetic, the metal in this gun powder should point the way.

Indiana Jones: [on seeing the Crystal Skull] Unbelievable.

Indiana Jones: [stuck in quicksand] Oxley, don't just sit there. For God's sake, man. Go get help!

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Help?

Indiana Jones: Help!

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Help?

[runs into the trees searching for help]

Indiana Jones: [later on, they're surrounded by Russian soldiers after getting pulled out of the quicksand by Mutt] Good work, Ox. Thanks.

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: [points at the Russians] Help.

Indiana Jones: Be careful, you may get exactly what you wish for.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I usually do.

Indiana Jones: We were younger.

Mac: I still am young!

Indiana Jones: We had guns. Put your hands down, will you? You're embarrassing us.

Mac: Bet you 500 bucks we get out of this.

[Dovchenko arrives and faces Indy]

Mac: Let's call it 100.

Indiana Jones: How did Deidra take the news?

Dean Charles Stanforth: How does any wife take such things? The look on her face is a combination of pride and panic.

Indiana Jones: I think I understand, Ox. Someone came?

Marion Ravenwood: What the hell is that?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: A portal! A pathway to another dimension!

Indiana Jones: I don't think we want to go that way.

Indiana Jones: You're not from around here, are you?

Agent Irina Spalko: [taking off her glasses] Where is it you would imagine I am from, Dr. Jones?

Indiana Jones: Well, the way you're sinking your teeth into those wubble-u's, I should think maybe Eastern Ukraine.

Indiana Jones: Compass! I need a compass! You know, north, south, east...

Mac: West.

Indiana Jones: No compass?

Indiana Jones: [to Dovchenko] I need your bullets!

Dovchenko: [to Russians] HaHa! On zhelayet moih patrone!

[Russian laugh]

Indiana Jones: [to Spalko] The contents of that box are highly magnitized. I need gun powder. You want my help or not?

Indiana Jones: [Studying Oxley's drawings] "The water sleeps until the great snake." These aren't just drawings, they're directions. Get me a map!

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Karta!

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: No defiant last words, Dr. Jones?

Indiana Jones: I like Ike.

Dovchenko: Put down gun.

Indiana Jones: You got it, pal.

[Drops gun, and gun fires off]

Indiana Jones: What exactly am I being accused of other than surviving a nuclear explosion?

Indiana Jones: This is incredible.

Mutt Williams: Unreal.

Indiana Jones: [Mutt's knife and some gold coins adhere to the Skull] Crystal's not magnetic.

Mutt Williams: Neither is gold.

Mutt Williams: What are they? Spacemen?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: [completely sanely] Interdimensional beings, in point of fact.

Indiana Jones: [dryly] Welcome back, Ox.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Clearly I have chosen the wrong pressure point. Perhaps I can find a more sensitive one.

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [to Russian soldiers] Prinesite yom!

Marion Ravenwood: [Struggling] Get your hands off me, you rotten Russki son of a bitch!

Marion Ravenwood: Indiana Jones.

Marion Ravenwood: [Indy shrugs and laughs] About time you showed up.

Mutt Williams: Mom!

Marion Ravenwood: Sweetheart.

[Runs over to Mutt and hug him]

Indiana Jones: "Mom"?

Indiana Jones: Oxley? Ox, it's me, Indy. Ox? Ox, you're faking it, right?

Professor 'Ox' Oxley: "Through eyes that last I saw in tears..."

Indiana Jones: Ox, listen to me, pal. Your name is Harold Oxley. You were born in Leeds, England. You and I went to school together at the University of Chicago. And you were never *this* interesting.