Indian Bartender Quotes in Keeping the Faith (2000)

Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: You're a Sikh, Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws?

Indian Bartender: Yes. Yes. It gets very complicated. I'm reading Dianetics.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Don't blame you.

Indian Bartender: Let me guess. Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt so she took these little ones and left you.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: It's a little more complicated than that.

Indian Bartender: Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to...

[Brian unzips his jacket, revealing his priest's collar]

Indian Bartender: Holy shit.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Exactly.

Indian Bartender: Um, let me get this straight. I am talking to a pries who went on a bender because his best friend, a rabbi, stole his girl.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Right.

Indian Bartender: Thank you. I want to thank you for telling me this story.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Why?

Indian Bartender: Because now I can retire.

Indian Bartender: I don't do penance, I do shots.