Immigration Officer Quotes in Total Recall (1990)


Immigration Officer Quotes:

  • Immigration Officer: [to the Fat Lady] Have you brought any fruits or vegetables on the planet?

    Fat Lady: [with a big smile] Two weeks.

    Immigration Officer: Excuse me?

    Fat Lady: [ticcing with her mouth] Two weeks. Twooo weeeks! Wweeeoo...

    Richter: [walks by and looks back to the Fat Lady]

    Fat Lady: Two...

    [moving her lips with her hands, then moving her head uncontrollably]

    Richter: Quaid.


    Richter: That's Quaid!

    Everett: Where?

    Richter: That woman! Get him! Her!

    [runs to her]

    Everett: Arrest that woman!

    Richter: Get that woman!

    [a disorder in the hall]

    Fat Lady: [screaming and moving her head, touches her ear as if it is a switch, her wig fells off]

    [the masks opens and Quaids head becomes visible]

    Douglas Quaid: Catch!

    [and throws the mask to the soldiers]

    Fat Lady: Get ready for a surprise!

    [and the mask explodes in the soldiers' faces]

  • Immigration Officer: How long will you be staying in this country, sir?

    Wallace: That's a very good question.

    Immigration Officer: Yes, I thought so, too.

  • Immigration Officer: Are you here for business or pleasure?

    Heymar 'Wulfgar' Reinhardt: Pleasure, I hope.

    Immigration Officer: Welcome to the United States.

  • Immigration officer: Where were you born?

    Rudy: What?

    Immigration officer: Read my lips, El Paco. Where were you born?

    Rudy: I was born in East L.A., man.

    Immigration officer: Sure, sure. If you were born in East L.A., then who's the president of the United States?

    Rudy: I-I don't know, that guy, that guy who was on T.V., the guy in the cowboy hat... he used to be on "Death Valley Days"... uh, John Wayne!

    Immigration officer: Get him out of here.

  • Immigration officer: What do we got here? Looks like a bean in a beanbag.

  • Immigration officer: I don't know where you learned to speak English so good, Rudy Roo or Loopty Loo, or whatever your name is!

  • Immigration Officer: Is that some kind of Beatles haircut?

  • Immigration Officer: What is your purpose of your visit to the United Kingdom?

    Emmannuelle Prevert: To make some friends with ze British.

    Immigration Officer: Is the purpose of your visit business or pleasure?

    Emmannuelle Prevert: Pleasure... definitely.

  • Immigration Officer: What is your husband's occupation?

    Emmannuelle Prevert: I am!

  • [Tanya and Artyom have just arrived at Heathrow International Airport]

    Immigration Officer: How long do you intend to stay in the U.K.?

    Tanya: I don't know, yet.

    Immigration Officer: How much money do you have?

    Tanya: [To Artyom] Skol'ko u nas deneg tochno? (Exactly how much money do we have?)

    Artyom: [To Immigration Officer] Uhh... eighty-five dollars.

    Immigration Officer: Not very much, is it?

    Tanya: Yes.

  • [Tanya's English fiancé, Mark Wallow, has failed to meet her and Artyom at Heathrow]

    Tanya: I'm sorry... just for... few... wo-words. I need political as-asylum.

    Immigration Officer: Political asylum?

    Tanya: Yes. Because... because my life is very dangerous in Moscow.

    Artyom: [Watching through a glass partition] Okhuyela chto li? (Has she fucking lost it?)

Browse more character quotes from Total Recall (1990)