Ilene Quotes in Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon walks up to Trisha's house to ask her out] Is Trisha here?

Ilene: Oh, I'm sorry, she's not. She's at a friend's house, right now.

Uncle Rico: [from inside Trisha's house, hard at work] Well, hey, Napoleon... Napoleon's m'nephew.

Ilene: Oh, that's nice.

Napoleon Dynamite: Could you just give this to her for me?

[hands Ilene a drawing of Trisha]

Ilene: I certainly could.

Napoleon Dynamite: Thanks.

[Napoleon leaves]

Ilene: Bye-bye.

[Ilene returns to Uncle Rico on the sofa]

Uncle Rico: Poor kid. I've been takin' care of him while his grandma's in the hospital. He still wets the bed and everything.

Ilene: You're kidding.

Uncle Rico: Yeah, he's a tender little guy. He still gets beat up and what-not.

Uncle Rico: Anyway uh... so we still feelin' pretty good about this, uh, 32-piece set, here?

Stacy: Yeah. Now, when you're with a guy, you're not just sleeping with him, you're sleeping with everyone they've had sex with.

Ilene: And everyone they've had sex with.

Ilene, Melissa: And everyone *they've* had sex with!

Melissa: Gee, I'm a lot more experienced than I thought I was!

[They laugh.]

Ilene: What do you miss most about sex?

Stacy: Whoo... I miss falling asleep with someone's arms around me. And the feeling of, mm...

Ilene: Orgasm? I love orgasms.

Stacy: Mmm. I'm sick of my Mighty Intruder vibrator with the flexible shaft and the textured head.

Ilene: Haven't you ever had an orgasm?

Melissa: Oh, yeah, sure-- No, not really. I mean, not with someone else in the room.

[On orgasms.]

Stacy: You can have one with the guy on top?

Ilene: Mm-hmm.

Stacy: I hate you!

[seeing Caleb run away]

Helen: Prospect?

Ilene: Not anymore.