Iggy Quotes in Surf Ninjas (1993)
Zatch: Something not even money can buy: the knives of Kwantsu.
Iggy: Knives? Oh yeah, seriously. That's something money can't buy. Knives. Once I went to a cutlery store and said 'Here's $100,000, can I buy a knife?' They said, 'NO. Money can't buy knives.' Gee, I guess that's why you hardly ever see any of 'em around.
Iggy: On the third day of the expedition they came across a giant rubber plant. Unfortunately, they could not cut it down, for as we know, money can't buy knives. Walking around the plant, they continued on the shores of Patusan.
Zatch: Is there no way we can shut this chattering monkey up?
Lt. Spence: You know, I'd cut him. But, I don't have a knife.
Johnny: [Johnny and Adam are about to surf the waves] Wooo, the waves our pumpin...
Johnny: What, you're not coming with us?
Iggy: I'll be there in a minute, I just gotta wax the old "Man to wave friction reducing vehicle".
[Johnny and Adam stare at him with pause]
Iggy: ... Surfboard!
Johnny: Oh, so we'll see you after, Right?
Iggy: Sure, gotta put some wax on so I dont slip off, need a lotta wax.
Johnny: [Afterwards] Whoa, I think I fully dinged my board on a rock or somethin...
[Iggy starts walking towards the water]
Johnny: ... Bro we're leaving!
Iggy: What, now? Awww c'mon, I had some moves in me too!
Johnny: [Under his Breath] Yeah right, you never surfed a day in your Life.
Iggy: Look, tommorow we start off early, o.k.?
Adam: You know what they say - Chick's got a veil, dude better bail.
Johnny: If she covers her face, pick up the pace.
Iggy: She's afraid to show it. She's... probably not very attractive.
Adam: [after leaving the raid at their house] So... when can we go back home?
Zatch: Your home is Patusan.
Johnny: No! Our home, was that house, back on Ocean Park.
Iggy: Whoa, guys I don't think you really wanna go back there. I mean, our Buddy Long John Silver here left the GAS running in the House, real Bright! I mean, what if the house blows up...
[a big Explosion happens in the background]
Adam: [Stunned] Our home!
Johnny: [Stunned also] He... blew up our home!
Zatch: [Regretably] I had no choice, and now you have no choice but to come with me, it's your Destiny.
Johnny: [Starts attacking Zatch] You had no choice... You had no CHOICE? Your INSANE!
Adam: [Helping Johnny] Get your rotten hands off my Brother!
Zatch: Stay calm your highnesses, you must know that there is no turning back!
Iggy: I can't believe... that I just DID that, I am Responsible for the Destruction of my best friends personal property!
Johnny: What are you talking about Iggy, you didn't do anything.
Iggy: I did too! Something happened, I don't know what it is, but now every time I say WHAT IF about something it comes true, and back there I said "What if the the house blows up", and it blew up!
[Convinced that He has Special Powers]
Iggy: Wow, I have this tremendous responsibility! What if I lose this power?
Iggy: Oh no, I just what if I lose this power! Damn it, I had it, then I lost it!
Zatch: [Annoyed by Iggy] But what of THIS one, the Commoner?
Adam: Why don't you just blow HIM up!
Johnny: While in Patusan, guests of The Revolution stay at the Mecrob Hilton.
Iggy: That's the Mecrob Hilton. Serving strange things and shells since 1207.
Iggy: [Walking across a hill] Woah, this trail is massively narrow. What if somebody fell?
[Lt. Spence and Adam suddenly fall down the hill]
Iggy: What if I said "I'm sorry"!
Iggy: ...because as we all know, money can't buy knives.
Iggy: What if I lose this power?
Iggy: Oh my gosh... I just said "What if I lose this power?"
Mac: [Johnny and Mac are in Shock for a moment as the camera angle focuses on a hand holding a kitchen knife] I'd put that knife down if I were you!
[the Camera Angle starts pointing up revealing Iggy's Face]
Iggy: Seriously, if you don't want chives, I wont put em in.
Johnny: Well, I want chives bro.
Mac: Iggy, you're here every day, and every night, don't your Parents wonder where you've been?
Iggy: Mr. MC.Quinn, My Parents are locked up in a Bio-Screen in Arizona, Pimento?
Iggy: ...It's like a little Tomato. Yes, Bio-Screen, lots of plants n animals, no one else allowed in anywhere around them. look, for it to be hard for me to explain it to a layman, like Yourself.
Mac: Iggy, You know what you need, is a professional listener.
Johnny: He visits the School shrink every day.
Mac: Not helping, and don't your parents ever feed ya, and don't they ever provide you with enough clothing besides MY BOXER SHORTS!
Iggy: [Looks down at the Shorts He's wearing] These are yours?
Adam: [shouts as he stands up in the moving vehicle] Motosurf!
Iggy: [after Zatch helped Johnny, Adam, and Iggy escape from the raid at the food hut] I just want you to know, that I felt completely safe in your arms, and I never said that to a man before.
Iggy: All right, Kids, come in here and Clean up Yer Bloody Room! I know well, cuz I'm 37, and don't make Me beat You with Leg of Mine that no longer Works cuz I'll do it!
Zatch: They have taken him.
Adam: Woah! How'd he do that?
Iggy: Like this: They have taken him.
Adam: Say, Johnny, what if what that Zatch guy said was true? I mean, about Your Destiny to become a Warrior, and Mine to be a Seeker...
[Iggy interupts from behind the couch holding a Playboy Magazine]
Iggy: ...and don't forget, I'm the King, seriously, you guys couldn't of missed these Magazines, there is a whole stack of em underneath Your Bed...
Johnny: Iggy, you can't be the King of Patusan.
[Iggy looks at Him Discouragingly]
Johnny: You're not Asian.
Iggy: Hey, two words for you; David Carradine, and Kung Fu.
Spike: [has had his brain evolved to higher intelligence] Ignatius, do you know what the square root of 36,481 is?
Iggy: What are you talking about?
King Koopa: I am very disappointed in you, cousins.
Iggy: Oppressor of the proletariat!
King Koopa: Guy in charge!
Lena: Hello, morons.
Iggy, Spike: Hello!
King Koopa: Now... where's the rock?
[Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]
Iggy: [together] Rock, sir?
Spike: [together] Rock, sir?
King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!
Spike: That rock!
Iggy: I told you not to forget it!
King Koopa: And I told *you* to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?
Iggy: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
Spike: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers?
King Koopa: Plumber alert!
[Iggy and Spike have become more intelligent]
King Koopa: Both of you, go to the desert!
Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay here and formulate our own strategy. Tete-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing.
King Koopa: Here's what's logical to me: If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock... I shall personally... kill you.
Iggy: ...We're going.
Spike: We were wrong again. How many times have we got this wrong?
Iggy: *You've* gotten it wrong five times.
Spike: Home for five. Home for five. What percent is that?
Iggy: I dunno. Let me think.
Iggy: I dunno. But it's not good.
Spike: If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna kill us.
Iggy: He's not gonna kill us. He's not that nice.
Luigi: By the bar, that big lady with the red spikes took the rock.
Iggy: Was she corpulent? Very corpulent?
Luigi: No no, she was just really round.
Spike: Big Bertha! The bouncer at the Boom-Boom Bar!
Mario: If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.
Luigi: Now, where's Daisy?
Spike: No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?
Luigi: Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?
Iggy: Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?
Luigi: Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!
Spike: WHERE IS THE ROCK?
Mario: SHUT UP!
[Entering the Boom Boom Bar]
Luigi: Isn't this a little bit feminine?
Iggy: Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.
Mario: But you wear this stuff?
Spike: Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.
Mario: Who do you date, a canary?
Iggy: [Iggy and Spike mistake Daniella for Daisy] Where are you going?
Spike: I'm gonna get the girl.
Iggy: That's not the girl.
Spike: Yeah, it is, she's wearing a disguise. I could spot her a mile away.
Iggy: Of course she's wearing a disguise. She thinks she can fool us. I'm gonna go get her.
Spike: *I'm* gonna go get her.
Iggy: Wait a minute. We'll follow her and then we'll both go get her.
Spike: Good idea. I'll bag her, you grab her.
Iggy: No, *I'll* grab her, *you* bag her.
Spike: That's what I said.
[after the ending credits]
Japanese Salesman 1: Well, I must say, we have a very generous proposal.
Japanese Salesman 2: A video game based on your many adventures.
Japanese Salesman 1: What would you call it?
[We now see that they are addressing, not Mario and Luigi, but Iggy and Spike]
Iggy: "Iggy's World".
Spike: [shakes head] "The Indomitable Spike".
Iggy: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
Spike: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
Iggy: Between us, Spike doesn't have a thought in his brain, sir!
Spike: Ha, ha, ha! He's a liar, sir. Between us, Iggy doesn't have a brain in his head!
King Koopa: I agree.
Iggy: Would you swim in an integrated swimming pool?
Tracy Turnblad: I sure would, Iggy. I'm a modern kind of girl, I'm all for integration.
Iggy: Cigarettes and coffee, man, that's a combination.
Tom: Well... we could go to Taco Bell if that's more your style.
Iggy: You callin' me a Taco Bell kind of guy?
Iggy: Woman, you are drunk!
Loretta Lee: Yes, I believe I *am*!
Landlady: Hold it! Who do you think you're kidding?
Iggy: What do you mean?
Landlady: You think I don't know what's going on upstairs?
Iggy: You do?
Landlady: I didn't come in from Stupidsville on last night's bus! You've got a woman in that apartment.
Iggy: Wow, hold it! What kind of talk is that?
Landlady: Don't double-talk me! I've got ears, haven't I?
Iggy: It's Dan's mother, you see she came down all un-expected like.
Landlady: I don't care if it's Pocahontas!
[after Iggy turns fan on to clear away the smoke, the numerous dollar bills of money start flying out of the suitcase]
Dan: [irately, after turning fan off] What goes on in that pea brain of yours?
Iggy: [weak smile] I forgot about the loot! Forgot. Forgot.
Iggy: Hey, it was a quarter million, wasn't it?
Margaret Miller: [Margaret Miller, gagged, shook her head, no]
Iggy: Two hundred grand?
Margaret Miller: [Margaret Miller, gagged, shook her head, no again]
Iggy: Not one lousy hundred and sixty?
Margaret Miller: [Margaret Miller, gagged, nodded her head, yes this time]
[Iggy then made a fist, threatening to hit Margaret Mitchell in her mouth, but Dan prevented it]
Iggy: [to Margaret Miller] Make mine well. I can't stand the sight of blood.
Dan: [to Margaret Miller] Some desperate character I got for a partner, huh Mom?
[first lines, after introductory song concluded]
Iggy: [as Iggy buys four different newspapers, Iggy sees DC smelling the salmon, he had just purchased] Hey, what do you say fella? Hey, you're taking my food, huh?
Margaret Miller: [looking out a window]
Dan: [Dan pulled Margaret Miller, away from window] Back away from that window!
Margaret Miller: [Margaret Miller retreats back]
Dan: [to Iggy who's oblivious reading a newspaper] Why don't you just let her stick her head out the window and yell for help, you meathead?
Iggy: [still oblivious] What'd I do?
[after seeing DC again]
Iggy: [happily] Hey, fella, where did you come from, huh? I got a little business to do, then I'll give you some milk.
Dan: [by DC's collar, after DC went in the apartment building, Zeke Kelso located Margaret Miller's kidnappers, hearing Dan's remark] Get rid of that cat, go in and finish her off.
Iggy: Think it's better to do the job here, or in the truck?
Dan: Here. So we don't have to fight her down the stairs.
Zeke Kelso: This is it Control, 1-3-2 Eighth Street.
[Zeke Kelso spoke out the house number, 132 almost like spelling, saying the numerals slowly as one-three-two: 132 Eighth Street]
Supervisor, Mr. Newton: Kelso, you hold off 'til we get there.
Zeke Kelso: [upon hearing Margaret Miller's voice] I can't wait sir. I've got a situation, that's breaking wide open.
Dana: Okay, so we need to stick together from now on.
Alexandra: Yeah, good. So, um, I got my stuff downstairs, and I'm gonna go get it, and then I'm gonna meet you guys.
Iggy: Zombie! Carl's a zombie. No longer a soulless, mindless, walking-dead corporate zombie, but a real zombie.
Iggy: [as Dana is about to attack the zombie] Wait, wait! Is this a Romero zombie or one of the new virus zombies?
Alexandra: What the hell are you talking about?
Dana: Okay, okay, now the old zombies are like, stiff.
Iggy: They lumber.
Iggy: No, no, not whatever, they lumber, it's important. The new ones are, like, super-fit sport zombies. Old zombies, we can take this guy; new zombies... we may be fucked.
Dana: [after just escaping into the attic from a small zombie horde] I think we lost them. Where's Alexandra?
Iggy: They ate her!
Dana: ...so we're the only ones left?
Iggy: I think it's just you and me, two mere mortals against evil unknown fighting the preternatural powers of a hell-spawn succubus!
Dana: F**k her! F**k her and the forces of darkness that created her, f**kin' she-bitch from hell. Hateful, evil murderous bitch with no friends and BAD SKIN!
[inhales sharply and slaps her bicep]
Dana: We can DO THIS! What do we have?
Iggy: For what?
Dana: ...like weapons to fight off the supernatural forces of darkness?
Dana: Ughh. Something holy?
Dana: Spells, incantations?
Dana: Protective amulets?
Iggy: Big negatory.
Dana: There's gotta be some kind of magic charm to command the evil!
Iggy: I don't know, man.
Dana: [grabbing Iggy by the collar and shaking him] There's ALWAYS a magic charm to command the evil!
Iggy: [pauses and points at Dana before calmly saying] That just sounds gay.
Dana: There's gotta be something. ANYTHING!
Iggy: We got nothing, man. Nothing.
Dana: [looks off as if she has an idea] ... and THAT is the best weapon we have.
Browse more character quotes from Surf Ninjas (1993)